Candy A. Westbrook

Yup, the Refs Made A Bad Call.

February 12, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Like your opinion about the New Orleans Saints robbed of playing in Super Bowl 2019. I’m a Saints fan, season ticket holder, and I’m mad as $#%% over the missed call! Suing the refs, NFL, or Roger Goodell is too good for them. They should lose their jobs, every one of them, never to step foot on an NFL field or be associated with pro teams again. Enough stupidity already.

Dear Reader,

Had one of my guys been on the Saints team, I would be answering this note from behind jail bars. Oh, trust me—I’m almost sure of it. But since they weren’t on the team, my new black isn’t orange. I’m wondering though, if we can blow off steam without swatting somebody upside the head, or landing in the jailhouse for being brainless.

I get it, I do. Not too sure, you really want to know my opinion. In truth, you really don’t. But since you asked, remember this: opinions are like a duck’s derrière … everyone has one.

It’s not like the refs don’t bring home some serious bacon. Most folks would be tickled pink as a pig for the high, six-figure, annual income these dudes make for half a year’s work. Not that they don’t deserve it; I’m almost sure they do.

In one sense, they are the most hated guys in America for doing their jobs—sort of like President Trump. In another sense, they are (after all) human, and just as none of us do a perfect job every day in our profession, they make mistakes. The problem isn’t necessarily the refs. It’s the replay rulings.

Of course, our powderpuff friend, Roger Dodger is used to ducking controversy. Just a few months back, the taking-a-knee thang resulted in most of us boycotting the games and lowered the NFL-ers paycheck, not a word from him until he saw his bottom line shrinking. I’m still not watching too much NFL. Poor ole Roger, just can’t get ahead of any hullabaloo storm brewing before it blows up in his face. You’d think he’d learn a thing or two by now.

Football is an emotional game, and anybody says different is a nincompoop. But emotion doesn’t win games as much as I would like to think it can. Neither does suing anyone. It should just never come down to one play, one mistake, one goof-up.

So, the remaining time on the clock was 1:45 at the time of the screw-up. Score tied at 20, third down, Saints in possession of ball. Yes, I agree, had the penalty been called, the Saints would have been given a new set of downs and a chance, notice “a chance” to run the clock down before attempting a short field goal, or even a touchdown. Game over. Saints win.

Maybe the ball would have gone through the uprights—maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe it would have been blocked, or maybe it could have been intercepted. The should-a, could-a, would-a game plan was the call here. It just shouldn’t come down to a missed penalty call, especially in the NFL. They are, after all, pros … told ya … you didn’t want my opinion.

The debate over bad calls for refs, or “favoring” one team over another is nothing new. How many college, high school, middle school, or even Pee Wee games have been wiggled out of winning due to missed calls or wrong calls by the refs? We’ve all seen it. It happens.

Thing is—pass interference is not a reviewable play in the NFL. Neither is holding calls on Offense or Defense. This debate will live on until the rules change. No suing needed.

By the time, you see our column in print; Super Bowl LII will be in the history books to be chewed over like a dog’s bone. If you really want to argue, advocate to get the reviewable NFL rules changed and start lobbying to do just that. Now is your chance.

The Art of Negotiation

January 31, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Our son is eight. I want to sign him up this spring to play Pee Wee football, but my wife has gone bonkers with worry about injuries. I feel it is time he plays, and he does love the game. He wants to play. Help?

Dear Reader,

Oh great, just where I want to be—in the middle of an uprising. Football matters. It matters big time. Let’s see if we can figure out why.

Mamas are like that. We worry. We fret. We rationalize. We overthink most anything our sons or daughters do or don’t do. It’s a natural thang for mamas. Agonize till our hair falls out.

I suppose I could quote stats all day long, but the truth is your son could get hurt, anywhere, anytime. Injuries can happen no matter what sport your child chooses. Shhhh. I hate to bring this to your attention, but he could sustain a concussion, broken arm, broken leg, or most any injury on his playground at school. He may even suffer more by watching TV or obtain a serious finger abrasion playing PlayStation.

Football is rich with teaching tools that carry a guy into manhood and can positively affect him for the rest of his life. It never hurts to exchange some frustration for green grass stains. In fact, I have it on good authority that it does a feller good. Football is a controlled fight. And if a boy’s going to fight, better it be controlled.

Football teaches teamwork like no other sport. It brings kids together, demonstrates decision-making techniques, trains boys for organizational skills, teaches the principle of others first. Football helps to make the players of the game mentally strong. At its heart, boys eventually become men of integrity.

You and your wife will need to compromise. I know, that’s a lightbulb piece of information, but it is still true. Come together, sit down, and hammer this out before going off and signing your son up without her approval. You might suggest he try it for a year and if she still feels the same way at the end of the season. Try another deal.

I have a sneaking feeling once she sees your son shine on the field, and she gets a taste of football, she’ll be one of them-there bleacher huggers, and there’ll be no stopping her after that. Let’s hope so.

Dear Football Mom,

Please explain to me why, after tireless efforts on behalf of football parents’ raising money to plow up and replace the entire high school football field, the track and field parents are raising cain. Yes, their sport will have to play elsewhere. We offered the football practice field, and they are still griping. I know this sounds trivial, but I don’t understand the big fuss they are making.

Can’t they see that the field will be in much better shape come next spring for track and field, too? It’s a temporary fix to have them on the practice field. They are still upset because football will be sharing the practice field as well, thus splitting time between the two sports.

They went to the county superintendent, and now the project was put on hold. How can a few spoil everything that a majority worked their tails off for? We’ve provided all funds, not one cent coming out of the county budget. We were supposed to break ground in a few weeks. Now, who knows when.

Dear Reader,

My smart-aleck, knee-jerk reaction is to ask the track and field team parents which sport makes the most money—football, or them. Of course, this is rude because everyone knows its football, y’all. Tunnel vision is contagious.

This is where you’ve got to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Negotiate.

What if football parents were to seek out another field, instead of staying on the high school campus. Perhaps a county Pee Wee team would be willing to share their field for high school practice this spring. Rarely do Pee Wee teams hold spring practice. Or, maybe use the closest middle school field. You may have to switch times for availability. Your team might have to load up on busses for transport to an alternate field, but either way, at least you are showing willingness to compromise.

Then of course, the coaches could get creative and use the gym for part of spring practice. Conditioning is huge for spring; it doesn’t hurt to run up and down bleachers, and the court can be used for walk-throughs, teaching new plays, or game planning and meetings. Then again, the basketball coaches may tar and feather y’all. Alternating times and clearing it with basketball first, before bopping into the gym would be the solution there.

By checking other options, sure shows good faith effort on the football side of things. That should help get another conversation started with the schoolboard. And, that’s the goal, open communication.

Did football get a permit or permission from the superintendent’s office when y’all started the project? I would think boosters would have had to have approval by the county and schoolboard. If so, since they halted construction, hold their feet to the fire and present an alternative plan like the ones I just suggested. Make sure you have a couple of plans to suggest to the committee or superintendent and then go get-er-done. Persist. But, don’t be a sass or smart-aleck like my first sentence. Remember, flies are attracted to sugar, not vinegar!

Let’s talk ch-cha-changes: New Recruiting Rules

January 10, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

What do you think of the new early signing day in December? We are more confused than ever, and I’m about over this college football recruiting stuff. The coaches that called our son and established a relationship with him have now, all been fired. Where does that leave our son? What a racket college football recruiting is!

Dear Reader,

Sorry, can’t help but chuckle a spell while reading your question. You purdy much nailed it. It can be a racket for sure. But, let’s not lose heart. It can also be some of the best times your son will experience.

Recruiting used to favor the programs and put players at the disadvantage. Coaches had the hammerlock on players, and heck-fire, that’s just the way recruiting business was done. Coaches had a lot more control, as if they needed any more leverage. Now, most of that leverage went poof.

You will rarely find me sticking up for any college coaches, but these new recruiting rules …. bless their hearts, I’m not too sure the coaches know which end is up. I certainly don’t, but let’s figure that maybe I do to a degree. Let’s look at it from the coach’s view.

Those rulings might call for desperate measures by the coaches, but they are experts at getting around things. Today though might be different. Some find the right beehive (high school or state), then poke their hands in the hive rooting for prime honey (premiere players), and are getting stung to smithereens. Poor guys. Truly, the December early signing day I believe, is now to the advantage of the players. There is always February 6, 2019. Y’all should be happy as a pig in sunshine. The choices for players just became bigger.

College coaches are the ones caught cattywampus, with little control over fielding their teams these days. They have to do the Watusi just to put together winning teams as much as possible. Their livelihoods depend on teenagers decisions as to what college he’ll sign with, and that can be downright degrading to a grown man. After all, college coaches everywhere scramble to put together teams that have at least a chance to bring home a conference title. It is getting harder and harder for coaches with the new rulings. The few teams who win most of the time, lap up most of the superior talent. What player doesn’t want to sign with winning teams?

Then too, some coaches don’t know if X-player will cut his college career short and shoot for the NFL or not. Now, I will say this—if they don’t know the plans of their potential NFL-ers, then that’s kinda on them. They should have relationships tight enough to know what their players intentions are by now. At least the position coaches should have a clue.

The other issues for coaches are the transfer deals. This is what I call, “the musical chair ruling” which also makes it harder on coaches. Players being allowed to leave once on board with a program and then able to transfer without the penalty of sitting out a year, all favors the players and their families. Who’s gonna stay, who’s gonna go to a different program next year. So much for loyality. Then, you’ve got the 85/25 rule. Coaches can only sign so many players per year for their programs. Then, on top of everything else, coaches can be fired in a flash, leaving the next crew to pick up the ball.

Yes, you are absolutely right, college football is a racket, a business, a risk for everyone. But, I tell you this, there is no other thrill like seeing your son take the field and kicking tooshie. Of course, his team winning—well that’s all the sweeter.

When Christmas Brings Conflict

December 17, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Why is my son so bent on working out during Christmas break instead of going to Colorado with his family skiing? Granted, he’ll be a senior next year and is working hard for a college football scholarship, but enough already. He wants to stay with his buddy’s family, as his friend’s dad owns several fitness centers, and they can work out together over the break. I’m a little upset with his buddy’s parents too, because I think they should have encouraged our son to go with us instead of offering for him to stay with them.

What say you?

Dear Reader,

This is a new one on me. What kid gives up Colorado skiing for working out?

Y’all do know my hair frizzes straight up each time I receive one of these read-between-the-lines psychological questions, sure enough, as if I stuck a finger in a Christmas light bulb socket with it turned on. I can see ol’ Clark Griswold, now. Y’all know I don’t claim to be that bright, but we’ll giver ’er a try.

My first thought actually has nothing to do with working out. Yes, you are right. For high schoolers, unless they are in a late state playoff after Christmas, they should be able to take a few days off during the holidays. Notice I said days, not weeks.

I suppose something could be brewing behind that snowman … and it’s not hot chocolate. It usually comes down to a girl in the mix somewhere. Then again, maybe he is just that serious about working toward a scholarship and has a valid fear of getting hurt on the slopes. Maybe your son is wise beyond his years. Injuries can spoil chances of saddling-up with scholarship offers, not to mention they hurt like the dickens.
If this is a new tradition for your family, my guess is he just doesn’t want change at Christmastime. Or—and this is a big OR—that purty little gal is pulling on his heartstrings to stay behind. He could be torn between spending time with her, or traveling with his family and then feeling like the Grinch. Oh, the G-force those gals have on our sons’ when their heads turn and their hearts go pitter-patter over a girl. Why, it’s downright frightening for mamas. Since his senior year is around the corner and time is short, he could be thinking he’d better take advantage of the time they have—if he’s even thinking that far in advance. Lots of maybe’s here, but like I said … reading between the lines.

The other thing that comes to mind and it chills me like icicles to be this honest, but maybe your son enjoys his friend’s family for various reasons instead of spending spare time with his own family. Does it feel like sand paper rubbing friction when all of you are together? Do you and you husband argue? Is chaos lurking behind every family gathering? Do tempers fly? Is alcohol a problem with adults? I know these are very personal questions. Please keep in mind I don’t want to know the answers. The questions are only there for you to mull over and consider, is all.

And by the way, there are no Norman Rockwell families out there. Even if you think his buddy’s family has it together, I tend to doubt its peaches and cream all the time. Put another log on that picture-perfect fire please, and hang those stocking with care.

Have an old fashion heart-to-heart talk with your son. Be honest with him. Tell him this stung a smidge and pricked your heart. If you are honest with him, I’m almost sure he’ll be honest with you. I believe your family just might huddle closer once your hearts open and y’all clear the air. Keep your cool no matter what he says. Give him the opportunity to share his feelings without jumping into soot from the fireplace.

Remember in the end, you are the parent—he is still the child. And too, since you are the parent, it’s a good idea for him to listen to you and do what you ask. In all seriousness, he has to obey your wishes, regardless of how he feels.

Christmas Day will come no matter how you celebrate it. Just make sure your son knows how much you love him, no matter where he spends the day.

Dear Football Mom,

Is cheerleading a sport? I know you usually answer football questions, but thought I’d try to get your input here. My daughter is going to cheer next year for football at a Division-I college, and yet they don’t offer scholarships for cheerleaders. Something is wrong with that.

Dear Reader,

I have to agree. College cheerleaders should be awarded full scholarships, period.

Depending on the school, some do give monies for room and board, books, or compensate the difference for out-of-state tuition. But generally, not all of the tuition. Not all of it, at all. Usually one or two expenses and that’s it. Partial scholarships do exist, as well as other scholarships such as academic and the like. They all apply. But a full-fledged cheerleader scholarship, like football scholarships have yet to be common practice, though it should be.

Cheerleaders matter. They matter a lot. Truthfully, I’d like to see a team win without them.

When football players try to get a crowd pumped up during a game, it’s a sign of weakness and desperation. I actually want to whup-upside the head some football-playing boys when I see them fellers turn into cheerleaders on the field. Good golly, guys, keep your heads in the game, Buck-a-roos. The cheers will come when you play tough and nail your assignments. Let the cheerleaders do their job and you do yours!
Cheerleaders matter. Yes, they flat-out matter. Is cheerleading a sport? It should be.

Time Out! Flag on the Play

December 5, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Readers,

Stop the Pass! Holding. Offsides. False start. Forgive this Football Mama, please!

In my last column, I recommended the book, Never Shut Up by Marcellus Wiley. Do not buy this book. There should be no excuse for this, and sadly, I did put this rotten game plan together. I usually try to read books before suggesting them, but in my rush to get information to the broken-ankle family, I goofed. The ball dropped, and I blew it. I hadn’t quite started reading said book before I suggested it in print. Suggested it in the column, no less, for every fan to see. Oh, now that’s what I call, backfield in motion. I know, an old school penalty. Still, a penalty I regret. Go ahead, move the chains back.

In an effort to suggest a new book—instead of going to the oldies and based on the reviews I’d read—I ordered this 2018 release. I try to keep up with the latest football or sports books. But—big BUT here—as I started to read it last week, I was so disappointed to see the expletives that really aren’t necessary to get a point across. I was bummed that the author used such vile language, not just once in a while, but all the while. Mostly every paragraph. Maybe even every sentence. I would never recommend such a book, even though I most certainly did in that column. But now, I reserve the right to intentionally ground it. I’ll take the lost yardage.

As the heart behind the gridiron, I try very hard not only to give the best advice possible, but also to endorse reading material and/or films that bring home quality messages, which contain gripping stories, or hold locker room keys of encouragement, told in a family-friendly way.

Full disclosure: I do not have wings attached to my back or a halo encircling my head. I’ve been known to let those tainted varmints scoot off my tongue a time or two myself. Tisk, tisk, I might be on the naughty list. However, I try very hard not to write such vulgar language in print. If a body has to write poison-polluted language every now and then, I give it a pass. To pen that nasty trash in every paragraph … no, no, no. I have to ask myself, are these folks really writers or authors if they have to use such cheap, tasteless chatter that often?

Bottom line: anything from Tony Dungy Uncommon, Finding Your Path to Significance would be my first choice for most anyone. Then again, Quiet Strength was fantastic. I tend to tip toward the true triumphal stories, and not just in football. Most anything inspirational or encouraging is generally going to grip my brain and retain my attention. I will say the fiction book by author and former NFL star Tim Green, Unstoppable, is on my pile. It’s recommended for middle school through high school, and I’m about to open those pages. I just might become a fast fiction fan of this author. Again, fair warning—haven’t started reading it, yet.

Since we’ve got that game plan in place, please let me know of your favorite football or sports books. I look forward to your suggestions and comments. Hopefully, we won’t have to go behind the field house again to correct my mistakes and make adjustments.

Dear Football Mom,

We are in the state playoffs, but this is our son’s senior year, and he’s not had any offers from colleges for a scholarship. We’ve talked to the head coach lately, and we both feel he’s not interested in helping with recruitment. We are at our wits end. What should we do?

Dear Reader,

Hang on. And by all means, remain in the present and enjoy this awesome privilege being in the state playoffs. A well-fought honor, no doubt. Lap up this success like a big ol’ dog slurping water out of its bowl. This time right here will evaporate in a heartbeat to a treasured, past memory, and you don’t want to miss a thing. You will come to regret it if you look past this moment in time.

For cooperation with your coach on helping your son receive a college scholarship … well, the worst, very worst, thing you can do right now is bug the tar out of him while he’s trying to get his team ready, and prepare for this big game. Back off. For the moment, at least.

That said, I have to commend you on your proactive stance and effort to help your son receive a scholarship. Sometimes it takes being there at just the right time and seizing the opportunity in front of your face. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but your son has time.

His team is going to state playoffs, what an opportunity right there. There are sure to be tons of college recruiters sitting on both sides of the field. The best thing y’all can do is get your son ready for this game—mentally and physically. If he does that for his team, he’ll impress somebody the night of the game. Film it.

Oh, and by the way, during his breaks at school this week, instead of hanging out in the halls with that purty little gal that makes his heart go pitter-patter, he should be in the video room scoping out his competition and how he’s going to nail that bad boy’s tail to the ground. Focus. On. What’s. In. Front. Of. You.

Yup, the Refs Made A Bad Call.

The Art of Negotiation

Let’s talk ch-cha-changes: New Recruiting Rules

When Christmas Brings Conflict

Time Out! Flag on the Play

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