Candy A. Westbrook

Candy A. Westbrook - Author, Columnist, Speaker, Football Mom

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus … who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJ).
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This Too Shall Pass

October 27, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Not sure you can answer this question, but going to give it a shot. Our son signed as free agent with NFL a few years ago. He was cut before he played a down. My question to you: isn’t the team franchise responsible for paying travel back home? As his dad, I’ve been miffed that they didn’t pay a cent toward his travel expense home. He hasn’t wanted me to step in, and his agent won’t return phone calls. It’s not about the money—it’s the principle of the matter.

Dear Reader,

Well, let it never be said that those NFL-ers don’t have an over-active amount of gall and guts. Or the slightest lick-a-sense.

My initial inkling is there are no hard and fast rules to release players and pay for the return trip back home. I would think it depends on the circumstances of the cut and how generous the franchise feels at the moment. As with the signees, the owner often pulls a lot of weight as to who is signed and who is expendable.

But since I do my best to be accurate and research what I can as “The Heart Behind the Gridiron,” I phoned an NFL franchise to pose your question. Turns out, my thoughts were purdy-much right on and correct to a point.

Depends on the circumstances all right. If a player was highly paid guy, one of the Queen Anne black-eyed variety, then there should be no problem returning home to sign with another team. But the smaller, plain ole garden peas gets the shaft! That’s what ya call, a pea-pickin-shame. It boils down to what was in their contract. Shame on your agent for not at least calling you back and splaining things.

A loaded question for sure and one I’m glad you shared with us.


Dear Football Mom,

Our state is closed to playing any football right now. Covid, the culprit. We have a peewee player rounding his last year playing for our county team. Given the statistics moving forward, what do you suppose is going to happen to the game? Be honest. Given the untold injuries like broken bones, heat exhaustion, and the dangerous traumatic concussion issues that may go unreported, yet continues to plague football and its safty. How can this game survive?

Dear Reader,

Since your state is not open to playing the game, you can rule out heat exhaustion at this point … It will take more than this crazy Covid to bring down football. That said, I get where you’re coming from. I really do.

Playing football for youths far out-weighs any risk involved with the game. The benefits are stacked in favor of football, not against it. Most certainly many fellers would do themselves a favor to sign-up and play instead of joining a gang, for insistence. Guys want to be part of a club—it’s within their natural DNA to be part of something. Ask most any high-risk youth why they joined up with a gang in the first place. The answer is not only the environment in which they lived, but because they wanted to feel like they “belonged.” This is my opinion, but many experts agree, and the stats are sadly true.

Regrettably, I don’t see many treehouses anymore where boys could gather and hang out with a no-girls or members-only sign on the door. That once-upon-a-time freedom to climb a tree, play kick the can, run the neighborhood till dark, camp out in a friend’s pasture, and even let your best buddy hunt for snipe holding a bag. All gone to putt, seems like. But those kind of things kept boys out of real trouble and gave them a sense of belonging just the same. Like a football team does.

In football, a fella can run off steam, release some emotions, throw off pent-up anger, and stick it to the other team all without repercussions. Football teaches teamwork and creates that sense of belonging to the club. Football is a good thang for guys.

No one can answer your underlying question, should my son continue to play? That could possibly be your real question and my answer to that is, only if he wants to play.

A parent can encourage playing a sport, but never force-feed it upon a child. In my opinion again, that is where most injuries come from. A fella has to play full throttle, and if he doesn’t really want to play, then he’s not all in. That is a huge problem. If a kid has a lackadaisical attitude, that sets him up for injury quicker than a sneeze.

No ma’am, I don’t believe football is going anywhere anytime soon. So, breakout the team colors, put your concern away, and hike up those bleachers as the proud mama you are!     

Filed Under: football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, NFL, peewee football, pro football

Asking the Right Questions

October 16, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

When college coaches call our son, they are always asking if he has any questions. My husband says, “don’t ask.” I, however, disagree with that and don’t understand why they don’t call me. In fact, I’ve told my son to tell them to call me, but so far, they haven’t.

How can a seventeen-year-old ask significant questions when he isn’t sure what the rules are or what to ask? We don’t either. Help?

Dear Reader,

A seventeen-year-old’s cheese just ain’t quite cured yet. A boy on the verge of manhood still has some pasteurizing ahead of him before cracking his barrel of hoop cheese. Why, he’s liable to get lost among the holes asking questions and squandering his future in such a way.

This, of course, is half a lie.

Many players worth their salt, seventeen or not, do have a clue of where they want to play prep ball and, possibly, what they’d like to major in. Those fellas are sharp, well-defined, and have fortuitous favor. Still, journeying in the recruitment arena is most times unchartered territory, unless the family has kinfolks who’ve gone through it. Recruiting can be overwhelming, let alone figuring out what program is serious about offering what kind of scholarship. Full, half, partial?

When a fella is contacted by college coaches via phone calls, that seventeen-year-old more than likely has something going for him, or coaches wouldn’t be calling. Coaches are short on time—they don’t have it to dillydally on loafers (not the shoes). But there are always the exceptions.

The players who goof off or the class clowns may be all fun and cute now, but don’t have an ounce of sense when it comes to setting goals or where they want to go in life. They may possess great talent, but that talent only takes them so far and lasts for so long.

The truth is coaches rely on players’ naiveté. The kids’ lack of experience or a family’s first rodeo can be to the coach’s advantage. College coaches can string players along until the program fine-tunes their pecking order for the upcoming recruiting season. That leaves players and parents in the dust scratching their heads in a quandary.

One of the first questions I’d ask from a player’s perspective: Tell me about the athletic study hall on campus and hours open. How many tutors are available, and will that be a cost to me? That will put coaches on their boot heels and give them the idea this kid is serious about his education. Truthfully, players should be. Then return to the football subject and follow up with: How many players are you recruiting in my positions? Are you recruiting other players from my high school or region? How many openings do you plan on filling in my position this year?

Forget asking about the meal plan and if you can eat all the steak you want, or if the freshman dorm you’ll be housed in is newly built. Do tell the coaches who are calling that you’d like your parents/guardians to speak with them, and what time is best to reach-out at what number? Make coaches be specific.

Parents, once you dial a coach’s number and speak with him, ask: Why are you calling my son? What is it about our son you like for your program? Those are legitimate questions. Stay quiet and let him answer. This will tell you how serious they are about offering scholarships. For kicks, ask them what their policy is about summer school. Will they want your son on campus throughout the summer and does the program pay for classes?

These questions should initiate an honest conversation without instigating sour feelings on behalf of college coaches. They will respect your candor and appreciate the frank conversation with a family who is seriously taking an active approach.

There isn’t a magic key to receiving college football scholarships. Hopefully though, these questions will kick off a great start to slicing that cheese and bringing home the bacon to boot!

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, Football Mom Column, football players

Changing the Game

October 6, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

As a single mom, I was depending on my son receiving a football scholarship to play college ball next year. He’s prepared, and we followed your advice in having him take the SAT his junior year. He nailed it. He also worked-out religiously over the summer in my basement and ran the neighborhood nearly nonstop. Now, I’m worried he won’t have a chance as his senior year is here, but today it’s just been canceled due to Covid. What are we going to do? How do we proceed with Covid virus and no football?

Dear Reader,

If ever there was a season we needed football, it is now! The Covid mess is a mess, all right. Boy howdy, is it ever.

Take heart, Mama. Your son did a great job over the summer, and it shows he has determination, self-discipline, and a never-quit attitude. These are all great qualities college coaches look for. Your son deserves a Big congrats for sticking to it. No wavering from that boy.   

Believe it or not, most of the time, college coaches have their wish lists for the next recruiting season (which is this season) finished by the end of last season. Whew. Spinning yet? College coaches will get around this stuff. They are geniuses at maneuvering manure and I do suppose this little hitch-in-the-get-along is no different.

If your son has not been offered, or if y’all haven’t had phone calls from any college coaches, my guess is, he’s on somebody’s radar somewhere. Working closely with his H. S. coach will be your best bet, and he may have an avenue y’all haven’t gone down yet. Hang tough, and be patient with his high school coach if he doesn’t get back to you right away. They are dealing with their own flies in the ointment. But, stay persistent.

Then, too, nothing wrong with calling the office of any college football program yourself and asking if all slots are full, or what upcoming positions are needed. Ask for the recruiter who covers your area, and try to speak directly to him. After all, they are in the same mess as everyone else. In fact, this may have leveled the playing field. Rest assured, football is not dead.

Then we have the NCAA who will no doubt have something to say about this year’s recruiting season. I’ve never seen a group of Macadamia Nuts come up with a bunch of rules as fast as these folks do. By cracky, they relish in rule-making. On a good day, the academicians have nearly killed college football with the silliest of rules at the drop of a helmet. Now, with C-19, geesh, what have they implemented lately to stir the pot?

My understanding the NCAA is leaving it up to each conference, to play or not to play. Isn’t that about as crazy as leaving out Tony Chachere’s in the stew? How ’bout some consistency? Hello. Same thing with high schools, to play or not to play. Some will play in the spring, others playing now. It will be fascinating.

Your son stands an awesome chance to blaze a trail of his own. He has a unique opportunity amid this mess to make something great happen. Don’t give up.

Filed Under: college football recruiting, Column, Covid, disciplined, football, Football Mom Column, senior year

Football & The Weight Room

March 23, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

What age is appropriate for a boy to work out in a weight room? Our son is only in 6th grade, and the middle school coach is having the team work out in the high school weight room before spring practice. I think this is excessive, my husband doesn’t. What say you?

Dear Reader,

Great question! Let’s see if we can whittle it down and keep it simple. Remember, I’m the heart behind the gridiron, not the expert technique trainer or specialist supervisor in such matters. That said, I have learned a smidge or two through the years. 

It is important, imperative even, as a child gets older to do some form of training if they are going to play any sport, not just football. But let’s see if we can first grasp a few layers about weight training.

Y’all understand that a boy—if they are playing or intend to play football—has got to love that weight room, as if it makes their heart go pitter-patter every time they step foot in there. Just like one of them gals who caught their eye and makes their heart do the same thing when they pass her in the halls. Ya gotta love the weight room and the aroma. Once mamas understand that, the rest really isn’t rocket science. Here’s my take on the info I’ve read or gathered from coaches through the years. Having two sons working out and the up-close experience of that didn’t hurt, because I was right where you are now with questions galore.   

Before age ten, kids should exercise using only their body weight as resistance such as: pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, squats, and lunges. Any games that are fun to get children moving, all the better. Running starts and stops, skipping and throwing are all great. We can thank President Kennedy for today’s P. E. programs implemented at our schools.

After ten, they can usually add resistance bands under the careful eye of an expert, like a strength coach. Now then, it is also very important that proper technique be taught all the way through every age level. My sons are huge believers in correct technique, they are adamant to the point of being dogged determined about it.

Once fellers reach thirteen, fourteen, and so on, specific sport training should begin. This age enters the maturity of young muscles, tendons, and growth platelets and can handle a gradual intensity volume of workouts with weights. Can’t stress enough that whoever is calling the shots should be well-trained in sports weight strength and conditioning and have done it themselves at some point.

The reason weight training is a good thing: It’s been proven, especially in football and surely other sports too, but I do football so here’s the skibby in that sport—it is the KEY to keeping players healthy and avoiding severe injuries. Approximately seventy-eight percent of injuries are to the upper body for those who did NOT have a set weight-lifting program in a three-year study of high school football players. That study done a few years ago does not give coaches a free pass to run amuck without guidelines in place. Good coaches want healthy players—injured players are just not useful. No coach worth his salt wants his players getting hurt, especially in the weight room!

Weight and strength training enriches athletes of all sports, true, but I reckon maybe football more than others. Training increases muscle strength, endurance, protects players’ joints, strengthens bones, and enriches performance. Not to mention the health benefits: blood pressure, cholesterol levels, boosts metabolism, promotes healthy weight, and improves self-esteem. Those are all recipes for a healthy team.

Nothing wrong with you doing your homework so you can see first hand what your son is doing and how your coach is benefiting him in the long run. Go visit the weight room. I suppose he’ll be a seventh grader next year, and I don’t think you’d want him stepping on the field without some training and time spent conditioning.

Of course, if you do go to the weight room while he and his team are working out, I’m almost sure your son would get some hounding from his teammates. Go anyway! A little bird-dogging could make your son tougher and backfire on his teammates once he sets some school records playing next year. Just a thought. And, I do try to keep it positive.

Footnote: That brings me to my closeout for the year. I’m starting next season with “hazing” issues. Be sure to check that out next August in your local newspaper. I’ll be back.

In the meantime, send me your questions, Candy@CandyAWestbrook.com, and as always, complete confidentiality here. Best wishes for an awesome spring practice. Looking forward to hearing all about it.

I have to say, y’all have been swell this year. Thanks to each of you for allowing me the opportunity to game plan together. I’m grateful beyond words. In some small way, I hope we added to your conversation and helped your sons reach or exceed their football goals, and maybe extinguished a few fires along the way. I meet moms/parents/fans of football at www.CandyAWestbrook.com throughout the year. Feel free to stop by and say howdy. 

Filed Under: football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, sons

Where’s the Loyalty?

March 11, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Most of our families, including extended family, are LSU fans. Not all of them are in our newspaper’s reading area, but I gave them your website so they could read the recent column you wrote about the feud between next-door neighbors LSU and Clemson fans. You can’t control what some fans do, or their nasty antics. The rant about the eggs thrown was justifiable. I am, however, so proud of our LSU Tigers!

LSU was the clear winner and reigning National Champions. But we are upset with all the coaches leaving LSU right after the win. Who are really the winners? Yes, we hold the title, but when most coaches leave instantly after a winning season, come on. Begs the question, wouldn’t those coaches likely had to have been making those deals before the game? To us, that is disgusting. What say you?

Dear Reader,

Oh, my sweet Purple Tiger Fan. Where have you been all my life? I agree it is disgusting!

That dirty little back room has cleaned the clocks of many football programs, their fans, boosters, and alum. LSU is, sadly, no different from many other universities that get peppered for a spell. Where is that Louisiana Hot Sauce when you need it …

These dudes, the coaches, scream loyalty with gobs of powdered sugar piled high on their beignets when it comes to making those deals. They most certainly want those sweet loyalty clauses in their contracts, which really don’t exist. What does exist is the green and purple King Cake called paperbacks. Most contracts protect the universities from going into bankruptcy. The baby’s in the buyout portion. These are safety nets included in the contracts. In other words, if an athletic director from another program steals say, a head coach from a winning program, the AD agrees to buy out the contract of the coach he wishes to hire. Forget Mardi Gras and take the mask off. It’s musical chairs, plain and simple. Programs have paid millions in fees just to hire the new eye candy they think is the answer to their woes. Too often, that sugar high melts like butter and turns into gooey jambalaya. The program paid millions for nothing.

But LSU didn’t just lose some coaches, they lost key players too. Tremendous players. Now that’s what I call a mushy mess! The poor ole fellers who are left will have to start from scratch to make their red beans and rice. But, your Coach O is like a roux to the gumbo and he’s recruited some awesome players. He is one of the best in the business and he’ll flavor that pot with just the right ingredients. He’s born and bred Louisianan and he’s not going anywhere except back to business in Tiger Stadium.    

I dare say some of those players who did leave for the NFL will never make it in the NFL for various reasons. Not trying to be Negative Nelly here, just can’t help but call the cups of sugar as I’ve seen them for a few years. What you think might be a good deal turns out not such a great deal after all. Just like a double hot-fudge Sunday, it looks good … taste good … but come Monday morning stepping on the scales, and they tilt forward. Ouch.

This kind of stuff happens every year to programs across the country. It’s not very nice. And back to the loyalty thing … it hurts. But remember when y’all LSU folks thought you’d never recover from the loss of a guy named Nick Sabin who threw off he’s beads for the NFL?

Filed Under: championship teams, Clemson Tigars, college coaches, college football recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, leadership, LSU, NFL, pro football, quitting, resignation, scandal

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About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall.

Helmet Kisses – The Heart Behind The Gridiron

Candy is working hard on her football memoir, Helmet Kisses. Make sure to watch for news and sign up for Candy’s newsletter so you never miss an update!

Helmet Kisses - The Heart Behind The Gridiron

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall. College football recruiting can leave parents dangling on a zipline indefinitely and need someone on the other side who gets it. She inspires parents to go the distance because, “the topic may be football, but the real subject is life.”

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