Candy A. Westbrook

Candy A. Westbrook - Author, Columnist, Speaker, Football Mom

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus … who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJ).
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Asking the Right Questions

October 16, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

When college coaches call our son, they are always asking if he has any questions. My husband says, “don’t ask.” I, however, disagree with that and don’t understand why they don’t call me. In fact, I’ve told my son to tell them to call me, but so far, they haven’t.

How can a seventeen-year-old ask significant questions when he isn’t sure what the rules are or what to ask? We don’t either. Help?

Dear Reader,

A seventeen-year-old’s cheese just ain’t quite cured yet. A boy on the verge of manhood still has some pasteurizing ahead of him before cracking his barrel of hoop cheese. Why, he’s liable to get lost among the holes asking questions and squandering his future in such a way.

This, of course, is half a lie.

Many players worth their salt, seventeen or not, do have a clue of where they want to play prep ball and, possibly, what they’d like to major in. Those fellas are sharp, well-defined, and have fortuitous favor. Still, journeying in the recruitment arena is most times unchartered territory, unless the family has kinfolks who’ve gone through it. Recruiting can be overwhelming, let alone figuring out what program is serious about offering what kind of scholarship. Full, half, partial?

When a fella is contacted by college coaches via phone calls, that seventeen-year-old more than likely has something going for him, or coaches wouldn’t be calling. Coaches are short on time—they don’t have it to dillydally on loafers (not the shoes). But there are always the exceptions.

The players who goof off or the class clowns may be all fun and cute now, but don’t have an ounce of sense when it comes to setting goals or where they want to go in life. They may possess great talent, but that talent only takes them so far and lasts for so long.

The truth is coaches rely on players’ naiveté. The kids’ lack of experience or a family’s first rodeo can be to the coach’s advantage. College coaches can string players along until the program fine-tunes their pecking order for the upcoming recruiting season. That leaves players and parents in the dust scratching their heads in a quandary.

One of the first questions I’d ask from a player’s perspective: Tell me about the athletic study hall on campus and hours open. How many tutors are available, and will that be a cost to me? That will put coaches on their boot heels and give them the idea this kid is serious about his education. Truthfully, players should be. Then return to the football subject and follow up with: How many players are you recruiting in my positions? Are you recruiting other players from my high school or region? How many openings do you plan on filling in my position this year?

Forget asking about the meal plan and if you can eat all the steak you want, or if the freshman dorm you’ll be housed in is newly built. Do tell the coaches who are calling that you’d like your parents/guardians to speak with them, and what time is best to reach-out at what number? Make coaches be specific.

Parents, once you dial a coach’s number and speak with him, ask: Why are you calling my son? What is it about our son you like for your program? Those are legitimate questions. Stay quiet and let him answer. This will tell you how serious they are about offering scholarships. For kicks, ask them what their policy is about summer school. Will they want your son on campus throughout the summer and does the program pay for classes?

These questions should initiate an honest conversation without instigating sour feelings on behalf of college coaches. They will respect your candor and appreciate the frank conversation with a family who is seriously taking an active approach.

There isn’t a magic key to receiving college football scholarships. Hopefully though, these questions will kick off a great start to slicing that cheese and bringing home the bacon to boot!

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, Football Mom Column, football players

Where’s the Loyalty?

March 11, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Most of our families, including extended family, are LSU fans. Not all of them are in our newspaper’s reading area, but I gave them your website so they could read the recent column you wrote about the feud between next-door neighbors LSU and Clemson fans. You can’t control what some fans do, or their nasty antics. The rant about the eggs thrown was justifiable. I am, however, so proud of our LSU Tigers!

LSU was the clear winner and reigning National Champions. But we are upset with all the coaches leaving LSU right after the win. Who are really the winners? Yes, we hold the title, but when most coaches leave instantly after a winning season, come on. Begs the question, wouldn’t those coaches likely had to have been making those deals before the game? To us, that is disgusting. What say you?

Dear Reader,

Oh, my sweet Purple Tiger Fan. Where have you been all my life? I agree it is disgusting!

That dirty little back room has cleaned the clocks of many football programs, their fans, boosters, and alum. LSU is, sadly, no different from many other universities that get peppered for a spell. Where is that Louisiana Hot Sauce when you need it …

These dudes, the coaches, scream loyalty with gobs of powdered sugar piled high on their beignets when it comes to making those deals. They most certainly want those sweet loyalty clauses in their contracts, which really don’t exist. What does exist is the green and purple King Cake called paperbacks. Most contracts protect the universities from going into bankruptcy. The baby’s in the buyout portion. These are safety nets included in the contracts. In other words, if an athletic director from another program steals say, a head coach from a winning program, the AD agrees to buy out the contract of the coach he wishes to hire. Forget Mardi Gras and take the mask off. It’s musical chairs, plain and simple. Programs have paid millions in fees just to hire the new eye candy they think is the answer to their woes. Too often, that sugar high melts like butter and turns into gooey jambalaya. The program paid millions for nothing.

But LSU didn’t just lose some coaches, they lost key players too. Tremendous players. Now that’s what I call a mushy mess! The poor ole fellers who are left will have to start from scratch to make their red beans and rice. But, your Coach O is like a roux to the gumbo and he’s recruited some awesome players. He is one of the best in the business and he’ll flavor that pot with just the right ingredients. He’s born and bred Louisianan and he’s not going anywhere except back to business in Tiger Stadium.    

I dare say some of those players who did leave for the NFL will never make it in the NFL for various reasons. Not trying to be Negative Nelly here, just can’t help but call the cups of sugar as I’ve seen them for a few years. What you think might be a good deal turns out not such a great deal after all. Just like a double hot-fudge Sunday, it looks good … taste good … but come Monday morning stepping on the scales, and they tilt forward. Ouch.

This kind of stuff happens every year to programs across the country. It’s not very nice. And back to the loyalty thing … it hurts. But remember when y’all LSU folks thought you’d never recover from the loss of a guy named Nick Sabin who threw off he’s beads for the NFL?

Filed Under: championship teams, Clemson Tigars, college coaches, college football recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, leadership, LSU, NFL, pro football, quitting, resignation, scandal

Gimme A Break, Gimme A Break

February 24, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son will graduate this spring and signed to play college football on National Signing Day. We are thrilled! His dad thinks he needs to continue to work out and run. I think he should take a break because he’s been working out for at least four years through high school. I do know it will be more strenuous in college but I feel enough already, let the kid have a break before heading out our door next year. What is your take on this? Should he keep working out or take a break before he reports to the college campus next fall?

Dear Reader,

How do I get myself smack-dab in the muddling mess of arguments between moms and dads? Do y’all really want me to take sides? You should read some of my email when questions are thrown at me like mortar squeezed out of tubes. It is then—I end up getting stuck right in the middle of the mud hole! You reckon I should know better by now.

Congratulations to y’all and your son. Get ready for some exciting days ahead of being true to your school like you would to your girl!! Fun times ahead for you and family. Soak up every minute because it will be over before you can say, “hut, hike.”

Yes, of course he still needs to work out. And for the record, I’m not taking your husband’s side. Even though your son signed and is headed for the college football team, he still needs to get stronger and faster before he shows up on campus. Without a doubt, those college puppies need all the preparation they can muster, and freshman report a week or two earlier than the upper classmen do. You wouldn’t want that feller of yours in dire straits throwing up at the first Oklahoma drill, would you?

Did he, himself want to take time off? If so, he will be in for a rude awakening once on campus. Most folks have no idea what’s ahead. Right now, when the stadium is quiet and the fans are home, most believe its off-season for the college player. Ha! Once Christmas break is over and those players report back to campus, they are killin’ themselves with what college coaches call mat drills. There is no such a thing as off-season for most athletes who are serious about their sport.

The players are required to pull themselves out of bed at 4 a.m. and report to the gym. They are given several special “stations” in which to drain themselves of any pride, accomplishments, or past rewards. This is the humbling effect. And the coaches thrive on seeing how low they can drive these young men. Did I really say men? They will turn them fellers into men come heck or high water. By cracky, you can count on it.

These drills are different on the various college campuses, but the psyche behind them is the same. Bring a team together, make the word teamwork come alive, and drive mental discipline to be front and center … provided the players don’t keel over first. On some accounts, these drills are worse than two-a-days in spring. Running bleachers is only part of the regime, but have you ever run bleachers? Yeah, I would say a boy better be in shape and have he’s head screwed on straight. By that, I mean his mental toughness had better be intact. No whiners allowed.

It will be almost a full year before your son experiences this routine, but there is that little thing called preseason camp that will require him to bust his hump in just a few short months. So, what’s ya think, mama? Should he work out in the weight room and run? Hmmm …

   

Filed Under: college coaches, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, senior year, sons

Where There’s A Will

February 19, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

I’m a single mom, and this week I nearly lost it. I’m a wreck. My son doesn’t have one scholarship offer. Signing day is just weeks away. What do we do? How can I help my son, who has worked so hard throughout his high school years, to achieve a college football scholarship? Without financial help, I’m not sure he can attend college. I’m desperate. I’m not too proud to ask for help. Do you have any connections, any tricks in your bag, any tips to help us?

Dear Reader,

Oh dear, don’t fall apart. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know the panic button is at defcon two! Believe it or not, there is still time. Together, let’s see if we can bring this to a successful finish. But I will tell you this: no tricks, no bag, and no tips here. Maybe suggestions, but the tips I leave for those with PhDs.   

Yes, you are right, the 2020 college signing day is February 5, and it’s coming like a rocket blast. Straight up though, I will tell you many players sign after signing day. So, don’t get flustered or go having a hissy fit. Let’s take it one-step at a time, and I hope this game plan of action might ease your worries right onto your son signing with his dream team. Keep in mind, sometimes you have to take the scenic route.

Have you talked to his high school coach? Try getting in touch with him immediately, and have an honest heart to heart about where your son might fit in with a college team. There could be a program that hasn’t known of your son and he’d fit in perfectly. He could be the answer they’re looking for. You never know if you don’t ask.

Make sure you have what you need at the drop of a hat, so you are equipped and loaded with the correct information, ready to send it lickety split to any coach asking for it. Or to take with you to any meetings you might set up … all the better. Things like highlight film, a copy of your son’s grades obtained from his high school’s counselor’s office. And, while you’re at it, get numerous copies. Maybe even his stats. These are topics you should cover in your conversation with his coach.

If any recruiters have called your home or sent emails or snail mail, call them now, pronto. Ask to speak to the recruiter for your area. Or, if you have the name of the coaches who did call, ask to speak to them directly. Also, engage them in conversation. Don’t show your desperation, but do let them know your concerns for your son if all opportunities with their program are closed. Then and only then—when the door is closed—ask about walking on and what their policy might be for new players who do just that. Remember, walking on could be an option. He could work his way to a scholarship next year with said team. But he will have to work and prove he deserves at least a fraction of the financial aid.

When you are talking to these coaches, ask them if they know of other coaches who might be looking for the talent/position of your son. By that, I mean to tell you, they all know each other. They, college coaches, are all jocking for a one up with each other. But on occasion, you’ll find a kind generous coach willing to go the distance and help. It never hurts to ask for a reference, and then go right ahead and ask them if they might be inclined to give them a call on your behalf. Make sure you write down who they said and their contact information.

For a coach to contact another coach in the interest of your son gives you leverage and a heads-up to the coach you are about to call. It sets a positive stage. You have to be a tad bold. I know, it can be intimidating in the all-male world of college football, but as I’ve always said, “You never G-E-T till you A-S-K.” And honey, you gotta ask away.

Also, contact any junior colleges in your area with a football program. Nothing wrong with starting at a junior college and transferring once his viability goes up.

Another thing to keep in mind, some states offer government funded money (grants) for academic achievements such as an average GPA of 3.00. Then again, if your son has an average 4.00, he’ll easily qualify for academic scholarships. Then, walking on should be a walk in the park. It’d be a good idea to check with his counselor’s office to find out more about these opportunities, anyway. Academic scholarships or any other county/community grants will allow y’all some time without you forking over tuition fees for the first semester. It’s worth checking out.

If all else fails and there truly isn’t a place—a program for him to land—please reach out to me again. Not that I can do a thing, or wave a magic wand, but I’m pulling for you, and I do give a hoot.       

You don’t want to hear this—oh, you really don’t—but he could stay home the first semester, and get a job, save his money. But make sure he keeps a regime of working out somewhere. He might ask his coach if he can use the weight room, but he’ll also need someone to spot him. Maybe investing in a six-month gym membership might not be a bad idea. He doesn’t need to lose ground, and he needs to be ready to tackle the college field possibly next semester. You never know he could get a chance to walk on somewhere in the spring. It’s not what y’all want to have to do, but it is a solid plan.

I’m a strong believer in where there’s a will—there’s a way. When you work hard, put God first, and stay at it … good things do happen! 


Dear Football Mom,

With the Super Bowl on everyone’s schedule, I’ve read sport reports of NFL players having service dogs on the sidelines to sooth their nerves. What do you think about that?

Dear Reader,

I think those NFL-ers need to go and open a dog pound. Bless their hearts.

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, football signing day, senior year, sons, Super Bowl

Are You Talkin’ To Me? How to spot an interested college recruiter

November 23, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

How many millions does it take to hire a good head coach? You know, one that isn’t full of donkey poo, puts together a college football program without empty promises, and maybe promotes honesty. Any trustworthy coaches out there? As a mother of a high school player, I’m over these college football coaches and their ridiculously high-paying salaries with over-inflated egos. None of them have offered my son a thing, not even from the smaller schools. I’m not so sure any of these coaches could identify talent if it hit them head-on. Time is short, what do we do to get our son signed?

Dear Reader,

The first thing you don’t do is let the college coaches see you sweat. I see your frustration from here. Trust me though, college coaches are excellent at finding talent and, yes, sometimes it hits them square in the face. That is, if they aren’t tripping over themselves.

If your question really hinges on the amount of money college coaches make—and a programs budget—then you’ll be in for sticker shock. No price tag for a product can compare to football on college campuses. I’m afraid that cost information could send you hurling smack-dab through the likes of a Texas Longhorn. I could never add that to my already clogged-up conscience if you happened to end up hooked on a horn. I would not pass the sniff test to even speculate the expense of running college football programs. If numbers aren’t on jerseys or on scoreboards, I’m purty useless.

Things like, is it a start-up program in which said university never offered the sport of football before and they are starting from scratch? Or, smaller school looking to build on accomplishments jumping to D-IA? Those are questions for the folks who get paid bigger bucks than me. Ones who have experience in football finance, economics, and television deals. Those who have keys to the safety deposit boxes in banks owned by wealthy alum, willing to fork out the bucks. Those are the folks to answer your question.

The powerhouses of the college game are money machines that never sleep. They churn out the change twenty-four-seven. If boosters and fans of super-conferences are willing to spend x amount of dollars to get on waiting lists just for season tickets, or up to $100,000-plus for a cushy spot on the fifty-yard line to seat their blessed assurance, then creating a football program should be a walk in the park. I suspect it’s not that simple.

My suggestion—if you really want to know—is read Billion Dollar Ball by two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Gilbert M. Gaul. This is a book loaded with eye-opening information and all the stats your little pea-pickin’ heart desires. Plus, Gaul scrutinizes the pay scales of football’s fancy coaches. It’s a few years old, and some stats may have changed a little, like Nick Saban’s puny salary. What won’t change is Saban’s smart-aleck sass. Then again, Alabama lost to LSU on Saturday. No offense to Tide fans, but I noticed Saban was absent for any post-game remarks. What a shame. He loves the media … like he loves a snake bite.

So, back to your son. You’re telling me coaches have shown interest but haven’t come through with a solid offer. What they are really saying is, “we’ve got to see if the kid we really want will sign with us and if he doesn’t, then we’ve got room for you.” I could almost promise you that is the ruse on the part of the coaches. And, it is a little early. Y’all do have some time.

Nothing wrong with pinning the coaches down, yourself. If they are still calling your home or your son’s phone, then speak with coach ask him point blank. If they aren’t calling or keeping in touch, do a little digging. Begin with talking to your high school coach. Get as much information from him as you can such as, are recruiters calling you about our son?

Then here it can get tricky but be brave, write down what you’d like to say and go for it. Call the football office of the college showing the most interest and ask to speak with the recruiter who has been in contact with y’all. Be upfront and ask him something like, if your son fits their program, whether he’s still in the running, and when might they make a decision and offer him a scholarship. If they hem and haw, then there’s your answer. Thank him for his time and of course never burn a bridge, always leave it, if something changes, I trust you’ll be in touch. Then go to the next college on the radar. Then the next, and on down the line.

By the way, when talking to these coaches, remember they owe you nothing. Keep the frustrated attitude locked up. Humble is always the way to approach most anything in life.

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, high school football, pick, sons, Wisdom

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About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall.

Helmet Kisses – The Heart Behind The Gridiron

Candy is working hard on her football memoir, Helmet Kisses. Make sure to watch for news and sign up for Candy’s newsletter so you never miss an update!

Helmet Kisses - The Heart Behind The Gridiron

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall. College football recruiting can leave parents dangling on a zipline indefinitely and need someone on the other side who gets it. She inspires parents to go the distance because, “the topic may be football, but the real subject is life.”

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