Candy A. Westbrook

Candy A. Westbrook - Author, Columnist, Speaker, Football Mom

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus … who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJ).
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Asking the Right Questions

October 16, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

When college coaches call our son, they are always asking if he has any questions. My husband says, “don’t ask.” I, however, disagree with that and don’t understand why they don’t call me. In fact, I’ve told my son to tell them to call me, but so far, they haven’t.

How can a seventeen-year-old ask significant questions when he isn’t sure what the rules are or what to ask? We don’t either. Help?

Dear Reader,

A seventeen-year-old’s cheese just ain’t quite cured yet. A boy on the verge of manhood still has some pasteurizing ahead of him before cracking his barrel of hoop cheese. Why, he’s liable to get lost among the holes asking questions and squandering his future in such a way.

This, of course, is half a lie.

Many players worth their salt, seventeen or not, do have a clue of where they want to play prep ball and, possibly, what they’d like to major in. Those fellas are sharp, well-defined, and have fortuitous favor. Still, journeying in the recruitment arena is most times unchartered territory, unless the family has kinfolks who’ve gone through it. Recruiting can be overwhelming, let alone figuring out what program is serious about offering what kind of scholarship. Full, half, partial?

When a fella is contacted by college coaches via phone calls, that seventeen-year-old more than likely has something going for him, or coaches wouldn’t be calling. Coaches are short on time—they don’t have it to dillydally on loafers (not the shoes). But there are always the exceptions.

The players who goof off or the class clowns may be all fun and cute now, but don’t have an ounce of sense when it comes to setting goals or where they want to go in life. They may possess great talent, but that talent only takes them so far and lasts for so long.

The truth is coaches rely on players’ naiveté. The kids’ lack of experience or a family’s first rodeo can be to the coach’s advantage. College coaches can string players along until the program fine-tunes their pecking order for the upcoming recruiting season. That leaves players and parents in the dust scratching their heads in a quandary.

One of the first questions I’d ask from a player’s perspective: Tell me about the athletic study hall on campus and hours open. How many tutors are available, and will that be a cost to me? That will put coaches on their boot heels and give them the idea this kid is serious about his education. Truthfully, players should be. Then return to the football subject and follow up with: How many players are you recruiting in my positions? Are you recruiting other players from my high school or region? How many openings do you plan on filling in my position this year?

Forget asking about the meal plan and if you can eat all the steak you want, or if the freshman dorm you’ll be housed in is newly built. Do tell the coaches who are calling that you’d like your parents/guardians to speak with them, and what time is best to reach-out at what number? Make coaches be specific.

Parents, once you dial a coach’s number and speak with him, ask: Why are you calling my son? What is it about our son you like for your program? Those are legitimate questions. Stay quiet and let him answer. This will tell you how serious they are about offering scholarships. For kicks, ask them what their policy is about summer school. Will they want your son on campus throughout the summer and does the program pay for classes?

These questions should initiate an honest conversation without instigating sour feelings on behalf of college coaches. They will respect your candor and appreciate the frank conversation with a family who is seriously taking an active approach.

There isn’t a magic key to receiving college football scholarships. Hopefully though, these questions will kick off a great start to slicing that cheese and bringing home the bacon to boot!

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, Football Mom Column, football players

Where There’s A Will

February 19, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

I’m a single mom, and this week I nearly lost it. I’m a wreck. My son doesn’t have one scholarship offer. Signing day is just weeks away. What do we do? How can I help my son, who has worked so hard throughout his high school years, to achieve a college football scholarship? Without financial help, I’m not sure he can attend college. I’m desperate. I’m not too proud to ask for help. Do you have any connections, any tricks in your bag, any tips to help us?

Dear Reader,

Oh dear, don’t fall apart. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know the panic button is at defcon two! Believe it or not, there is still time. Together, let’s see if we can bring this to a successful finish. But I will tell you this: no tricks, no bag, and no tips here. Maybe suggestions, but the tips I leave for those with PhDs.   

Yes, you are right, the 2020 college signing day is February 5, and it’s coming like a rocket blast. Straight up though, I will tell you many players sign after signing day. So, don’t get flustered or go having a hissy fit. Let’s take it one-step at a time, and I hope this game plan of action might ease your worries right onto your son signing with his dream team. Keep in mind, sometimes you have to take the scenic route.

Have you talked to his high school coach? Try getting in touch with him immediately, and have an honest heart to heart about where your son might fit in with a college team. There could be a program that hasn’t known of your son and he’d fit in perfectly. He could be the answer they’re looking for. You never know if you don’t ask.

Make sure you have what you need at the drop of a hat, so you are equipped and loaded with the correct information, ready to send it lickety split to any coach asking for it. Or to take with you to any meetings you might set up … all the better. Things like highlight film, a copy of your son’s grades obtained from his high school’s counselor’s office. And, while you’re at it, get numerous copies. Maybe even his stats. These are topics you should cover in your conversation with his coach.

If any recruiters have called your home or sent emails or snail mail, call them now, pronto. Ask to speak to the recruiter for your area. Or, if you have the name of the coaches who did call, ask to speak to them directly. Also, engage them in conversation. Don’t show your desperation, but do let them know your concerns for your son if all opportunities with their program are closed. Then and only then—when the door is closed—ask about walking on and what their policy might be for new players who do just that. Remember, walking on could be an option. He could work his way to a scholarship next year with said team. But he will have to work and prove he deserves at least a fraction of the financial aid.

When you are talking to these coaches, ask them if they know of other coaches who might be looking for the talent/position of your son. By that, I mean to tell you, they all know each other. They, college coaches, are all jocking for a one up with each other. But on occasion, you’ll find a kind generous coach willing to go the distance and help. It never hurts to ask for a reference, and then go right ahead and ask them if they might be inclined to give them a call on your behalf. Make sure you write down who they said and their contact information.

For a coach to contact another coach in the interest of your son gives you leverage and a heads-up to the coach you are about to call. It sets a positive stage. You have to be a tad bold. I know, it can be intimidating in the all-male world of college football, but as I’ve always said, “You never G-E-T till you A-S-K.” And honey, you gotta ask away.

Also, contact any junior colleges in your area with a football program. Nothing wrong with starting at a junior college and transferring once his viability goes up.

Another thing to keep in mind, some states offer government funded money (grants) for academic achievements such as an average GPA of 3.00. Then again, if your son has an average 4.00, he’ll easily qualify for academic scholarships. Then, walking on should be a walk in the park. It’d be a good idea to check with his counselor’s office to find out more about these opportunities, anyway. Academic scholarships or any other county/community grants will allow y’all some time without you forking over tuition fees for the first semester. It’s worth checking out.

If all else fails and there truly isn’t a place—a program for him to land—please reach out to me again. Not that I can do a thing, or wave a magic wand, but I’m pulling for you, and I do give a hoot.       

You don’t want to hear this—oh, you really don’t—but he could stay home the first semester, and get a job, save his money. But make sure he keeps a regime of working out somewhere. He might ask his coach if he can use the weight room, but he’ll also need someone to spot him. Maybe investing in a six-month gym membership might not be a bad idea. He doesn’t need to lose ground, and he needs to be ready to tackle the college field possibly next semester. You never know he could get a chance to walk on somewhere in the spring. It’s not what y’all want to have to do, but it is a solid plan.

I’m a strong believer in where there’s a will—there’s a way. When you work hard, put God first, and stay at it … good things do happen! 


Dear Football Mom,

With the Super Bowl on everyone’s schedule, I’ve read sport reports of NFL players having service dogs on the sidelines to sooth their nerves. What do you think about that?

Dear Reader,

I think those NFL-ers need to go and open a dog pound. Bless their hearts.

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, football signing day, senior year, sons, Super Bowl

Kicking Off the New Year

January 7, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son already made his commitment to a division one college, but I am wondering if he should renege and back out of that verbal agreement to instead, accept an offer from a college in the state of California. Maybe he can earn some money since they’ve passed the pay to play. A school from that state made him an offer earlier in the year. Do you think he should reconnect with them and tell them he’d like to take them up on their scholarship offer? It would mean we’d have to travel a distance to see his home games, but maybe it’s worth it for him to gain a little money and add to his savings.

Dear Reader,

And this right here, is the very reason I am against the “pay to play” ruling. Of course, Florida is looking to pass this law soon too. It’s so wrong on so many levels. I am usually not quite that blunt (well, then again, maybe I am), but boy howdy, this deal, the pay to play, is like a grasshopper jumping under your blue-jeans with no way to scoot the varmint out without showing a body’s backside!

I hope like heck most of y’all haven’t thought a double-minded, Mickey-Mouse, willy-nilly maneuvering technique to your children in how they handle business dealings, regardless if they play a sport or not. No offense to Mickey Mouse—my littles and some of the older grands adore him and Minnie. But come on.

The first thing you should be aware of as a parent is to never weasel out of your word. If your son gave his word to the other college, then by cracky, he should stick to it and keep it. Period. At least barring anything catastrophic like a coaching change, that is. The second thing you should be aware of about this pay to play in California is that the ruling has not yet gone into action. Your son may graduate before it does. 

Quite frankly, I’m hoping the NCAA will find a way to pull it back. Do you understand that even if it was in play, your son may never get some huge endorsement from a commercial company? He may never reap the so-called benefit of suiting-up at some college where the pay to play is actually at play.

And for the record, he is earning money! He’s receiving a free education. He will graduate without college debt, and that is huge. Hopefully, that is his main goal, to walk away with a degree in hand. Meals, books, lodging, tuition, even tutoring is free for the student athlete. He’s already ahead of the game that most college students face. Good heavens, what more could you ask for.   


Dear Football Mom,

I don’t understand the rankings of college football. Why are some teams ranked in the top five while others with the same record are ranked lower? For example, why is Clemson ranked three when they are just as undefeated as Ohio State or LSU? What gives?

Dear Reader,

Great question! That would take an act of congress for me to splain it all and quite honestly, I’m not sure I’d be on point with the correct answer. But you got me on this one, and I can’t resist a challenge, so reckon I’m gonna take a stab at it.

There is a little committee that thrives on “guesses” and “misses” made up of head football coaches—yeah, like they can be fair and unbiased. Sure, they are. Along with other experts like media geniuses and then, perhaps there are the PhDs of Popular Football Mechanics who make up this board of pals. Giving it their best shot, they submit a list each week ignoring TV contracts and stockholders, or deep-pocketed influential boosters, past traditions, and popular opinions of social status stars to vote on rankings. (My sass is showing through.)

Supposedly, the rankings are based on who said team Tee’s up to play, how much they ran up the score, and how tough the team was that got the shocking splattering. That’s the short version anyhow.

Cheer up my fair football fans, no head coach on the planet cares a gnat’s behind about these rankings. Or gives any weight to the top 25 in front of their players, fans, and boosters. It’s psychological, messing with players’ and coaches’ heads and scheming to get programs to question their viability, causing useless dustups between conferences. Most coaches pay no mind and discount the rankings, especially if they aren’t on the list. It’s also political in football terms and a sore spot with athletic directors. The rub here is that most sportscasters make fun and joke about how off the mark these rankings are. And they usually are. Way off the mark. Clemson is a great example of that. They have earned the right to at least a number two spot.

This team of scallywags can never predict the heart of a team. Or the strength and power of the will to win. They are there to take up newspaper print, make some poor old coach about to retire feel important, gain favor with sportscasters so they’ll talk highly about their program, and give lip service to TV contracts.   

Take heart my football fans—it’s just useless noise.

Filed Under: college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, Pay to Play, senior year, sons, Wisdom

Are You Talkin’ To Me? How to spot an interested college recruiter

November 23, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

How many millions does it take to hire a good head coach? You know, one that isn’t full of donkey poo, puts together a college football program without empty promises, and maybe promotes honesty. Any trustworthy coaches out there? As a mother of a high school player, I’m over these college football coaches and their ridiculously high-paying salaries with over-inflated egos. None of them have offered my son a thing, not even from the smaller schools. I’m not so sure any of these coaches could identify talent if it hit them head-on. Time is short, what do we do to get our son signed?

Dear Reader,

The first thing you don’t do is let the college coaches see you sweat. I see your frustration from here. Trust me though, college coaches are excellent at finding talent and, yes, sometimes it hits them square in the face. That is, if they aren’t tripping over themselves.

If your question really hinges on the amount of money college coaches make—and a programs budget—then you’ll be in for sticker shock. No price tag for a product can compare to football on college campuses. I’m afraid that cost information could send you hurling smack-dab through the likes of a Texas Longhorn. I could never add that to my already clogged-up conscience if you happened to end up hooked on a horn. I would not pass the sniff test to even speculate the expense of running college football programs. If numbers aren’t on jerseys or on scoreboards, I’m purty useless.

Things like, is it a start-up program in which said university never offered the sport of football before and they are starting from scratch? Or, smaller school looking to build on accomplishments jumping to D-IA? Those are questions for the folks who get paid bigger bucks than me. Ones who have experience in football finance, economics, and television deals. Those who have keys to the safety deposit boxes in banks owned by wealthy alum, willing to fork out the bucks. Those are the folks to answer your question.

The powerhouses of the college game are money machines that never sleep. They churn out the change twenty-four-seven. If boosters and fans of super-conferences are willing to spend x amount of dollars to get on waiting lists just for season tickets, or up to $100,000-plus for a cushy spot on the fifty-yard line to seat their blessed assurance, then creating a football program should be a walk in the park. I suspect it’s not that simple.

My suggestion—if you really want to know—is read Billion Dollar Ball by two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Gilbert M. Gaul. This is a book loaded with eye-opening information and all the stats your little pea-pickin’ heart desires. Plus, Gaul scrutinizes the pay scales of football’s fancy coaches. It’s a few years old, and some stats may have changed a little, like Nick Saban’s puny salary. What won’t change is Saban’s smart-aleck sass. Then again, Alabama lost to LSU on Saturday. No offense to Tide fans, but I noticed Saban was absent for any post-game remarks. What a shame. He loves the media … like he loves a snake bite.

So, back to your son. You’re telling me coaches have shown interest but haven’t come through with a solid offer. What they are really saying is, “we’ve got to see if the kid we really want will sign with us and if he doesn’t, then we’ve got room for you.” I could almost promise you that is the ruse on the part of the coaches. And, it is a little early. Y’all do have some time.

Nothing wrong with pinning the coaches down, yourself. If they are still calling your home or your son’s phone, then speak with coach ask him point blank. If they aren’t calling or keeping in touch, do a little digging. Begin with talking to your high school coach. Get as much information from him as you can such as, are recruiters calling you about our son?

Then here it can get tricky but be brave, write down what you’d like to say and go for it. Call the football office of the college showing the most interest and ask to speak with the recruiter who has been in contact with y’all. Be upfront and ask him something like, if your son fits their program, whether he’s still in the running, and when might they make a decision and offer him a scholarship. If they hem and haw, then there’s your answer. Thank him for his time and of course never burn a bridge, always leave it, if something changes, I trust you’ll be in touch. Then go to the next college on the radar. Then the next, and on down the line.

By the way, when talking to these coaches, remember they owe you nothing. Keep the frustrated attitude locked up. Humble is always the way to approach most anything in life.

Filed Under: college coaches, college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, high school football, pick, sons, Wisdom

Beyond the Lights: Questions following the Tamron Hall Show

November 8, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

We saw you on the Tamron Hall Show talking about the pay to play passing in California for college athletes and we have two questions: What were you talking about with the “worms” being “slippery little devils,” and what did you mean about playing for the love of the game? Our son is a junior in high school playing football, and college recruiters are showing interest. What is wrong with football players or any student athlete getting paid?

Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for watching and for these fantastic follow up questions, bringing more attention to this ruling. The devil, as the cliché goes, is in the details. My game plan options and opinions went kapowee. The clock ran out in that segment before I had a chance to throw the ball. Not promising a touchdown, but …

The worm reference has gotten a lot of buzz. Hopefully, this will bring a pinch of clarity for everyone reading our column. Then again, sometimes I’m clear as mud.

It was my way of explaining, in a saucy comedic way, the fact that this law is not yet in play, and there is still time to reverse such a reckless ruling. After it’s implemented, it will be harder to put a cap on the can of worms as they bury themselves in the ground or scoot off into oblivion. They are slippery little devils and hard to catch wiggling everywhere like they’d just got bit by red aunts. I reckon this law will be harder to pull back once it goes into effect. Hence the worm analogy. It’s easier to keep the lid on the can of worms instead of frantically running after them, chasing them back into the can when they’ve got a good head start.

This little ruling will only wreak havoc later down the road and create that hotdog mentality. It will allow commercial companies to seek endorsements for their products, paying players for their John Henry (signatures), and that’s code for some players to bring attention to themselves so the spotlight shines on them, giving the products, they represent free publicity. The ruse of the players, encouraged by the commercial companies, to hotdog brings in more money and profit when showing out on televised games. This translates to bulging bank accounts for those few players. Duhh. No team about it at all.

The effect will be mind-blowing all right. Decision makers such as chancellors, deans, or presidents of universities could bury their heads, I suppose, for kickbacks (see how money makes everybody involved gamble and goofy). Then try finding an authentic athletic director, one who isn’t willing to turn a blind eye receiving payment from sports companies for, let’s say, unrestrained access to their athletes. Or head coaches or assistants. Or for that matter, recruiting players whose heart’s desire is pure and plays for the love the game.

As if recruiting isn’t hard enough, now players are going on the chopping block to the highest bidder. No longer will recruiters find players who feel it a privilege to receive a scholarship offer. They’ll want that fat paycheck to boot. Prep players may demand to be hooked up with companies for endorsements, or wage bets on how much said college program will dole out for a player’s percentage of jersey sales. I suppose too, talent level will drop.     

You might as well go ahead and throw the word “team” in the trash. It will no longer be the game we all cheer and root for. Talk about a scam… have mercy! This makes recruiting cheating scandals look like child’s play in a sand box.

Now, I will share the fact that yes, there is a need for pocket change so players can buy toothpaste and shaving cream. If the programs themselves paid players a small amount of cash per week or whatever, then fine. Have you ever seen the “adult” pro players—who do get paid enormous bucks—handle money wisely? It’s rare, so how the heck do you think kids will handle it? It’s sure to be the best booze bonus going. Just what college coaches need, more watchful oversights. Those poor ol boys won’t know if they’re coming, or going, or already been there!

And by the way, the players are getting paid. They are receiving a free … that is FREE … education, study hall assistance, free tutors at their disposal, free books, free meals, free lodging, and even free medical care. Besides all of that, those who really need financial assistance can apply for something called pale grants. Also FREE money.

This is college football, not pro football. Graduate, get a job, form a career, create your own wealth with your free education. Honestly, don’t y’all think that should be the ultimate goal for any student athlete? Graduate college.

Filed Under: braggin' rights, college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, Pay to Play, teamwork

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About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall.

Helmet Kisses – The Heart Behind The Gridiron

Candy is working hard on her football memoir, Helmet Kisses. Make sure to watch for news and sign up for Candy’s newsletter so you never miss an update!

Helmet Kisses - The Heart Behind The Gridiron

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall. College football recruiting can leave parents dangling on a zipline indefinitely and need someone on the other side who gets it. She inspires parents to go the distance because, “the topic may be football, but the real subject is life.”

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