Candy A. Westbrook

Candy A. Westbrook - Author, Columnist, Speaker, Football Mom

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus … who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJ).
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Changing the Game

October 6, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

As a single mom, I was depending on my son receiving a football scholarship to play college ball next year. He’s prepared, and we followed your advice in having him take the SAT his junior year. He nailed it. He also worked-out religiously over the summer in my basement and ran the neighborhood nearly nonstop. Now, I’m worried he won’t have a chance as his senior year is here, but today it’s just been canceled due to Covid. What are we going to do? How do we proceed with Covid virus and no football?

Dear Reader,

If ever there was a season we needed football, it is now! The Covid mess is a mess, all right. Boy howdy, is it ever.

Take heart, Mama. Your son did a great job over the summer, and it shows he has determination, self-discipline, and a never-quit attitude. These are all great qualities college coaches look for. Your son deserves a Big congrats for sticking to it. No wavering from that boy.   

Believe it or not, most of the time, college coaches have their wish lists for the next recruiting season (which is this season) finished by the end of last season. Whew. Spinning yet? College coaches will get around this stuff. They are geniuses at maneuvering manure and I do suppose this little hitch-in-the-get-along is no different.

If your son has not been offered, or if y’all haven’t had phone calls from any college coaches, my guess is, he’s on somebody’s radar somewhere. Working closely with his H. S. coach will be your best bet, and he may have an avenue y’all haven’t gone down yet. Hang tough, and be patient with his high school coach if he doesn’t get back to you right away. They are dealing with their own flies in the ointment. But, stay persistent.

Then, too, nothing wrong with calling the office of any college football program yourself and asking if all slots are full, or what upcoming positions are needed. Ask for the recruiter who covers your area, and try to speak directly to him. After all, they are in the same mess as everyone else. In fact, this may have leveled the playing field. Rest assured, football is not dead.

Then we have the NCAA who will no doubt have something to say about this year’s recruiting season. I’ve never seen a group of Macadamia Nuts come up with a bunch of rules as fast as these folks do. By cracky, they relish in rule-making. On a good day, the academicians have nearly killed college football with the silliest of rules at the drop of a helmet. Now, with C-19, geesh, what have they implemented lately to stir the pot?

My understanding the NCAA is leaving it up to each conference, to play or not to play. Isn’t that about as crazy as leaving out Tony Chachere’s in the stew? How ’bout some consistency? Hello. Same thing with high schools, to play or not to play. Some will play in the spring, others playing now. It will be fascinating.

Your son stands an awesome chance to blaze a trail of his own. He has a unique opportunity amid this mess to make something great happen. Don’t give up.

Filed Under: college football recruiting, Column, Covid, disciplined, football, Football Mom Column, senior year

When the Road Gets Rough: Tough Love for Some Football Parents

December 12, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

So, our son got caught smoking pot behind the gym at school two weeks ago. He and his buddies (not football players) have been expelled and put on probation by the juvenile court judge in our county. I have mixed emotions, from heartbreak to raging mad, at this system of so-called, justice! He is only 17 and he’s one of the stars on the football team going into state championship playoffs. Coach kicked him off the team, and now he won’t be able to play in any championship games. It’s his senior year and could be the last time he ever gets to play. We’ve pleaded with the coach until we’re blue in the face. We paid the fine, we took the punishment, he’s doing community service, but what about second chances? What can we do?

Dear Reader,

Sounds to me like not a dad-blame thing. The shoulda coulda woulda act is in play here. As his parents, what do you think y’all should have, or could have, or would have done before this behavior became the nightmare before playoffs? Maybe cracking down on your son once you saw him wiggling out of accountability. I suspect he and his merry men have done this pot smoking before. I love your comment, “… mad at the system.” What about being mad at the reason for the season failure—your son? 

I’m sorry, but your son as a senior, shoulda been a leader and known better than to try such a stunt on school property—or anybody’s property as far as that goes. That is, after all, where the guilt should lie. Not at the system, not at the coach, not at the peddler who sold him the pot … And who does that leave? Your son.

As his parents, this kind of behavior starts at home with what is accepted and what is not. It’s up to parents to make that crystal clear. More importantly, set boundaries and standards, and actually model them yourselves. He had to have some gull bring drugs to school, much less using them to boot. Maybe Santa Clauses boot should meet someone’s backside.

Look, no parent wants something like this to happen, just like no one is perfect, including parents. But the bottom line here is holding your son liable, not trying to weasel out of the consequences of his actions for him.

It’s a tough world out there. This could be a lesson for your entire family and save this young man’s life in the future. Better to learn that there are aftereffects to stupid choices now than being called to a morgue to identify your son’s body—due to an accident getting high off weed and swerving head on into a telephone pole. Parents are called every day to do such a horrid thing. Very sad, especially because it could be avoided.

By the way, he’s got a second chance. A second chance at turning this situation into something positive. He could volunteer at a homeless shelter next summer or on Saturdays. He’d soon find out how drugs affected many in this population and whether he’d like to follow in their footsteps.

I hope he humbles himself and admits the wrong of his actions. I hope he supports his team. I hope he attends every game between now and any playoffs. I hope his parents lead him to make good choices. How y’all handle this moving forward will speak volumes to his success in life.


Dear Football Mom,

I’m writing you from my son’s hospital room. Last Saturday while playing in the game, he suffered a concussion, broken arm, and dislocated shoulder in a weird tackle. He underwent surgery Monday to repair the broken arm, and shoulder. Now they found his rotator cuff compromised by a tear as well. One of his knees has a contusion. He is recovering nicely and expected to be 100 percent by spring. He is only a sophomore in college and was red-shirted. This was his first year playing. His biggest disappointment is not being able to play the rest of the season because his team is headed to win their conference championship. 

How do I encourage him to continue football when I hated the game to begin with? I’ve never been a fan of football. Of course, my husband on the other hand … let’s just say he thrives on it. Now, it’s all I can do to muster the energy to hold my tongue when all I want to do is scream bloody murder at my husband. I want my son to continue college without playing football. We are a divided household, what is your best advice?

Dear Reader,

My heart goes out to you and your family, and I can only say I understand more than you may imagine. But know this—he is so blessed to have a mom by his bedside and a dad who is involved in his life.

My own son broke his leg in a game some years back. Surgery was scheduled immediately to insert a titanium rod to increase healing time. During his recovery in the hospital I found there were a few other players admitted for various reasons on the same floor. I went to visit them and found no parent or family member anywhere. And not only that … their hospital rooms were hollow. Not one balloon, card, goody bag, or anything else to cheer them up. I went directly back to my son’s room and looked around. There was such an outpouring of love lavished on this Buddy-Row it was downright embarrassing. He even had professors come to see him. Now, I will tell you the truth, my boy was not a book student. Not ever. Yet there they were, one after another visiting that guy and bringing goody bags. Whatever impression he made on them, it didn’t reflect on his grades!

I gathered-up a few balloon bouquets, goody bags, and anything else I thought the fellas down the hall might like and took it to those players who had nothing. You see, your son is blessed to have parents who give a hoot, even if you are hooting two different horns.

It’s too early to squabble over any choice your family may make—play ball, not play ball. Just get him well. Stay on top of doctor appointments. Make sure he takes his meds and eats well to get healthy. Keep the trainer’s phone number handy, and double check to make sure he has yours at the touch of a button. Load the dorm fridge with fruits and veggies that are easy to snack on.

My best advice right now is to present a united front. When it comes down to it, I hate to tell you, Mom, it really will be his choice to play or not.

Filed Under: disciplined, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, hope, leadership, quitting, scandal, sons, Wisdom

When Christmas Brings Conflict

December 17, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Why is my son so bent on working out during Christmas break instead of going to Colorado with his family skiing? Granted, he’ll be a senior next year and is working hard for a college football scholarship, but enough already. He wants to stay with his buddy’s family, as his friend’s dad owns several fitness centers, and they can work out together over the break. I’m a little upset with his buddy’s parents too, because I think they should have encouraged our son to go with us instead of offering for him to stay with them.

What say you?

Dear Reader,

This is a new one on me. What kid gives up Colorado skiing for working out?

Y’all do know my hair frizzes straight up each time I receive one of these read-between-the-lines psychological questions, sure enough, as if I stuck a finger in a Christmas light bulb socket with it turned on. I can see ol’ Clark Griswold, now. Y’all know I don’t claim to be that bright, but we’ll giver ’er a try.

My first thought actually has nothing to do with working out. Yes, you are right. For high schoolers, unless they are in a late state playoff after Christmas, they should be able to take a few days off during the holidays. Notice I said days, not weeks.

I suppose something could be brewing behind that snowman … and it’s not hot chocolate. It usually comes down to a girl in the mix somewhere. Then again, maybe he is just that serious about working toward a scholarship and has a valid fear of getting hurt on the slopes. Maybe your son is wise beyond his years. Injuries can spoil chances of saddling-up with scholarship offers, not to mention they hurt like the dickens.
If this is a new tradition for your family, my guess is he just doesn’t want change at Christmastime. Or—and this is a big OR—that purty little gal is pulling on his heartstrings to stay behind. He could be torn between spending time with her, or traveling with his family and then feeling like the Grinch. Oh, the G-force those gals have on our sons’ when their heads turn and their hearts go pitter-patter over a girl. Why, it’s downright frightening for mamas. Since his senior year is around the corner and time is short, he could be thinking he’d better take advantage of the time they have—if he’s even thinking that far in advance. Lots of maybe’s here, but like I said … reading between the lines.

The other thing that comes to mind and it chills me like icicles to be this honest, but maybe your son enjoys his friend’s family for various reasons instead of spending spare time with his own family. Does it feel like sand paper rubbing friction when all of you are together? Do you and you husband argue? Is chaos lurking behind every family gathering? Do tempers fly? Is alcohol a problem with adults? I know these are very personal questions. Please keep in mind I don’t want to know the answers. The questions are only there for you to mull over and consider, is all.

And by the way, there are no Norman Rockwell families out there. Even if you think his buddy’s family has it together, I tend to doubt its peaches and cream all the time. Put another log on that picture-perfect fire please, and hang those stocking with care.

Have an old fashion heart-to-heart talk with your son. Be honest with him. Tell him this stung a smidge and pricked your heart. If you are honest with him, I’m almost sure he’ll be honest with you. I believe your family just might huddle closer once your hearts open and y’all clear the air. Keep your cool no matter what he says. Give him the opportunity to share his feelings without jumping into soot from the fireplace.

Remember in the end, you are the parent—he is still the child. And too, since you are the parent, it’s a good idea for him to listen to you and do what you ask. In all seriousness, he has to obey your wishes, regardless of how he feels.

Christmas Day will come no matter how you celebrate it. Just make sure your son knows how much you love him, no matter where he spends the day.


Dear Football Mom,

Is cheerleading a sport? I know you usually answer football questions, but thought I’d try to get your input here. My daughter is going to cheer next year for football at a Division-I college, and yet they don’t offer scholarships for cheerleaders. Something is wrong with that.

Dear Reader,

I have to agree. College cheerleaders should be awarded full scholarships, period.

Depending on the school, some do give monies for room and board, books, or compensate the difference for out-of-state tuition. But generally, not all of the tuition. Not all of it, at all. Usually one or two expenses and that’s it. Partial scholarships do exist, as well as other scholarships such as academic and the like. They all apply. But a full-fledged cheerleader scholarship, like football scholarships have yet to be common practice, though it should be.

Cheerleaders matter. They matter a lot. Truthfully, I’d like to see a team win without them.

When football players try to get a crowd pumped up during a game, it’s a sign of weakness and desperation. I actually want to whup-upside the head some football-playing boys when I see them fellers turn into cheerleaders on the field. Good golly, guys, keep your heads in the game, Buck-a-roos. The cheers will come when you play tough and nail your assignments. Let the cheerleaders do their job and you do yours!
Cheerleaders matter. Yes, they flat-out matter. Is cheerleading a sport? It should be.

Filed Under: cheerleader, cheerleading, disciplined, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, Ol' Saint Nick, senior year, sons

How to Be a True Leader—On and Off the Field

November 5, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

There is a chance we could be in the state playoffs for the first time in school history. My son is one of the senior captains. Several football players on our team are more basketball players than football players, and basketball is their chosen sport. They are great athletics, valuable to our football team, and have contributed enormously to our winning season. Basketball practice has already started at our school. Our son is sensing an unrest or an uneasiness with these players wanting to get done with football to move on to basketball. That would hurt our chances for state. How does he lead his team and encourage these players who are itching to get on with basketball to hang in through the playoffs?

Dear Reader,

Wow. Great question! How cool is that, to line up in football for a chance to birth a state championship. Congratulations to your son, his team, and his high school on a winning season.

So, what we have here are a few sweet football fellas who have ants in their pants to quit football and hook up with basketball. Sounds like a girlfriend dumping the boyfriend to go with another guy. We call this fickle, bubble-headed, or wobbly. This is tough because if you can’t be all in, especially playing football, you really should be all out.

To be clear, I am a fan of basketball too. So please keep the hate mail to a minimum. Not putting basketball down a-tall. Just promoting sticking with what a body started, committed to, and staying consistent, is all. Some might call it being a man of your word. Others, reliable.

Your son may have to have one of them heart-to-heart talks with the basketball players. Either they want to make football history for the school … or they don’t. It really is that simple. What these boys need is fire in the belly, not fire ants in their pants.

I imagine coach is well aware of this tiny infraction and will do all he can to bring any breach to a successful close one way or the other. But your son and his teammates hold a lot of weight on the team. They may be the only ones who really know what buttons to push to help them fellas choose the higher calling. After all, one day this entire team will graduate, maybe graduate college, and get on with their lives. Do they really want to go down in history as quitters, when they can choose to be part of a team that broke school records? Surely not.

No doubt, a lot of hard work went into this team since last summer, last season, and possibly beyond that. Countless hours of workouts, practice, teamwork, and the coaches strategic game plans. Winning seasons don’t just happen. Do the basketballers really want to chunk it all now?

Honestly, I haven’t a clue on how to help, but your son with his crew will figure out how to spike the ball and stop the clock. What it comes to for them basketball boys, will they seize the day and take the challenge out front. Basketball isn’t dribbling away—it will still be there once football ends.

This possible high school state championship is but a moment in time, a once in a lifetime opportunity. He may remind them just how special and rare championship teams are. The chance of participating on any other sports-related championship team becomes a roll of the dice. It can come down to now or never.

Remember, what you do today will determine how well your tomorrow shines.


Dear Football Mom,

When your own team boos your son, how do you respond to that? My son is a good player. But in the region playoffs, minutes before the fourth quarter ended, he dropped the ball. Yes, fumbled it on the twelve-yard line. Then it was picked up by the other team, and they ran for a touchdown. Time was up. The game was over. We lost.

Dear Reader,

What I can tell you is this, the “boos” were probably for the other team picking it up and running all the way for a touchdown. This does happen, and the sting of it lasts for a while. The booing can even last for what seems like an eternity, and even our sons’ names or numbers are chanted out—and not in a good way. The mudslinging can get downright nasty.

Sometimes, like it or not, our sons may deserve it. Most football players at every level blows-it now and then. Heck, I’ve yelled at my own sons before and I’ve blown it myself a time or two. But I know, it tough sitting in the stands hearing the chatter. Still, it’s how we respond that helps us keep our cool.
Pluck the feathers out from under your skin—you are not a chicken. Football Moms … we have to grow some Teflon skin and wipe it off. Usually, some good ole fashion grit will do just fine for that.

Filed Under: disciplined, football, Football Mom Column, football season, leadership, quitting, winning, Wisdom

Ol’ Saint Nick ~ Not so Quick!!!

December 1, 2013 by Candy A. Westbrook

Nick Sabin is the best college coach in all of college football. Just mark it down y’all, he really is. Whether you’re an Alabama fan or you cringe at the word “Tide” and can’t even bring yourself to use the laundry detergent, one cannot deny his record! Anyone in his or her right mind would be hard pressed to dispute a record like Sabin’s. Period. Take LSU for example, he resurrected their program from the dead, “who” by the way, is still going strong.

This Football Mama is never without a theory. I believe the success of Coach Sabin is mostly because Sabin himself just won’t tolerate monkey business. If a player gets caught with his pants down-meaning in trouble for under-age drinking, drunkenness, rowdiness, scrapes with law-dogs or shady behavior, or maybe literally with his pants down in the wrong place, he’s outta his program. Coach Sabin simply will not give his players any room for screw-ups.

Then again, his players are disciplined to the crux. They eat, sleep, live by the Sabin rules. Even snafus on the field are not stomached by Sabin & Company. Ouch. That’s purdy hard-core for college boys.

Still the record stands and this year was no different, the Tide lost 2 key players and then more to the NFL and yet he pulls off a winning record? Not too shabby!

So, let’s take Georgia for insistence. Why don’t the Dawgs win more? Bring home more championships? Win a national title? Heck, anybody seen one national title in the last ten years under the Richt tutelage? Georgia can compete with Alabama on any given day as far as recruiting, facilities, education, player amenities you name it there is no reason why Georgia cannot compete! You want the real truth? Can you handle the truth?? Answer: Mark Richt coddles his players. Yep, I know, y’all gonna hate me, but the simple truth is, he does. He loves his players and is a stand-up guy for doing so, setting a Christian atmosphere is not a bad thing at all, y’all. It’s quite a great thing if you ask me. But, Georgia has had its chance, and if you really see it from an unbiased perspective, you’ll find that Richt’s players are really not all that well disciplined. Just sayin’. Let’s give ’em the hurrah however, for winning over Tech in double overtime last night. Yet again, they should’ve eaten Tech alive. Poor Tech.

My real complaint however, stops at Sabin’s throne. Admit it y’all, there was a tinge in those of us who are not die-hard Bama fans who wanted the King’s crown rolled off his head, even if, ever so slightly. Then it happened. Not that Auburn won over Alabama in such a freakish way but in the after game interview with Sabin. To me, it spoke volumes. I do so wish he had had the moral fortitude to give the Tigers the recognition they so deserved instead of recapping what went wrong with Alabama. As if Alabama were the Untouchables!? Helloooo!

Sorry Mister Sabin, that was not your most shining moment. It really comes down to how you conduct yourself after a loss. After adversity. With class? Without class? He should have given Auburn credit, he’d have come off looking like the champion king he really is.

And, Georgia? I’m not advocating that it’s either a Christian atmosphere or not. Remember a guy by the name of Tony Dungy?? You can have both. A winning program and Christian influence. Here’s to all the hard working, saintly coaches who do both!

Filed Under: college coaches, Dawgs, disciplined, Georgia, LSU, Mark Richt, NFL, Ol' Saint Nick

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall.

Helmet Kisses – The Heart Behind The Gridiron

Candy is working hard on her football memoir, Helmet Kisses. Make sure to watch for news and sign up for Candy’s newsletter so you never miss an update!

Helmet Kisses - The Heart Behind The Gridiron

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall. College football recruiting can leave parents dangling on a zipline indefinitely and need someone on the other side who gets it. She inspires parents to go the distance because, “the topic may be football, but the real subject is life.”

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