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Football is Like An Orchestra

October 10, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

We are about fed-up with the favoritism our head coach lavishes on a few certain players. Our son is an offensive lineman and not only does coach snub him, but most of the boys who are playing on the OL. He is always with the quarterback, wide receivers, and running backs, or helping the defense during practice and never checks on or spends time with the offensive line. We are about ready to go talk to the athletic director or the principal, but are afraid it will make matters worse.

What is your advice?

Dear Reader,

So, you feel that your son and the offensive line is being treated like a second fiddle by your head coach. I hear ya. Let’s see if we can get this little thing in perspective and look at the difference between the pickin’ and a grinnin’.

You may not know of the famous conductor Leonard Bernstein, but he was once a purty big deal in Hollywood. He wrote the scores for West Side Story, Rear Window, and On the Town staring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra, to name a few. A reporter once asked him, in regards to his orchestra, “What’s the most difficult instrument to play?”

“Second fiddle,” he replied, and added, “if no one plays second, there’s no harmony.”

The same goes for the offensive linemen on a football team. If there is no protection for the quarterback, or holes made for running backs, then there is dang-sure no harmony on that football team! Without the offensive line, the quarterback and his accompaniments are useless. No way can he get his job done by pitching the ball, or getting his balls airborne or in the hands of any running backs. Without the second fiddle (the OL) there is no harmony, no rhythm, no tune, and no way to move the ball forward, much less hurling it to wide receivers for touchdowns before the quarterback’s backside meets grass by a brood of defensive guys out for blood.

Offensive linemen are a peculiar bunch. The dream of an OL coach would be to have a group of guys up front who are tightly woven like a string of pearls. Then add a perfectly performed precision ballet by moving in sync with one another, creating a barrier that no defense could break. These guys spill their guts every time the ball is snapped, only to receive little glory for the battle. Have you ever heard an announcer praise and call out an offensive lineman’s name for that marvelous pancake blocking? Maybe ever so often, but it’s gotta be a mighty-darn special block and usually down field, not off the line of scrimmage. The neutral zones are the most physical blocks—the more athletic blocks are down field. Either way, blocking is a rough fiddle to strum. These dudes are the most unselfish players on the team.

I do a lot of reading between the lines within the questions we receive, and this question is no different. If I had to guess, I suppose head coach has a lot of notes he’s trying to make into melodies, and his time is already split coaching and drilling the quarterback and wide receivers, making sure they know how to run his routes and understand his game plans. Checking on his defense to get them ready to stop the next opponent and execute his game plan for that to happen, is probably second nature to him. He’s checking his song sheet so his team ends up on the same page of music. I do believe that’s kinda what you’d want in a coach.

He’s not a babysitter—he’s orchestrating a perfect harmony for his team, and that requires focus where the trouble spots are to hit the keys just right. I suspect you are a winning team this season, and he’s doing all he can to keep it that way.

Your coach may be from the offensive side of the ball, meaning he played quarterback in college or whatever, and he’s teaching what he knows. He also may have a lot of trust in his offensive line coach. Maybe they worked together to craft their offense strategy over the summer, and coach has complete confidence in this position coach. If I had to bet, I would bet the offensive line is looking great in games, on film, or in practice, and y’all are headed for a crescendo season. Coach feels his time is better spent honing drills with the ball carriers. He’s not needed on the OL. That’s a good thing. That means your son and his teammates are nailing their assignments.

Hear me on this. Whether or not he is from the offensive side of the ball, he is well aware of how valuable his second fiddle, the OL, really is. I don’t believe for a second he’s playing favorites; he’s just one guy trying to make the most out of the time and the talent he’s got, and he’s not about to micro manage the OL, because there are no flat notes being played out there.

If you do decide to go to the AD or the principal, you may end up with nothing more than the cat and the fiddle. Wouldn’t that put a knot in the cow’s tail as he jumped over the moon?

Tackling the Tough Ones

October 8, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Our son played varsity football in high school last year, and again starts first string as a sophomore this year. His head coach just moved him to start as a linebacker on defense. He also starts as right tackle on the offensive line. That means he’s playing both ways. With no breaks in between, he drinks sports drinks by the pound and tries to stay hydrated, eats well, and stays healthy, but I’ve got to tell you this is so hard on him. He is about give out on Friday nights. While we are proud of him, we are also concerned that this is too much wear and tear on his body. It is so hard. Should we talk to the coach?

Dear Reader,

Super duper! Your son must be headed beyond Friday nights. Sounds to me like he is one cool cat at playing this game. It’s an honor, really it is.

That said, I couldn’t sugarcoat this no matter how hard I’d try. It’s meant to be hard. Without the hard, this game would just be ordinary. It’s the hard that makes the game extraordinary. And playing both ways gives your son experiences he wouldn’t ordinarily have on the field playing just one position.

Yes, it’s hard. You should know that the coach wouldn’t have put him in this position if it wasn’t best for the team, or if he felt your son couldn’t handle it. I don’t believe there is a coach anywhere who wants his players hurt. Football and playing one position are hard enough. Playing both ways is giving your son opportunities of a lifetime, valued experience, and will put him in the category of extraordinary talent once he finishes high school. Yes, it’s hard.

Is he complaining? Sounds to me like he is staying healthy, and doing the right things to keep it that way. Does he want to play in college? Now, I’m not saying that playing both ways is a sure way to have recruiters lining up at your home, salivating, licking their chops to sign your son, but it does give him an edge, and his ability to be versatile gives him notability. Quite honestly, it’s all about position in college. Rarely do you see players playing both ways on college teams. But playing both ways now widens his scope of understanding the game and will give him unprecedented vision when it comes to reading opponents, regardless of offense or defense. And that my dear friend, is priceless.

Think of it this way: try to look beyond the pooped-out at the end of his games and look at the what ifs because of playing both ways. What if he catches the eyes of recruiters and has the opportunity to play in college? What if he is offered a full-ride scholarship? What if, because of playing both ways, his stats go up, toughness increases, and he sharpens his skills to put his marketability on top and ends up becoming an NFL-er?

What if? The possibilities are never ending. If it weren’t hard, it wouldn’t be football. Are there really any easy roads to success?

Dear Football Mom,

We are a football family who doesn’t believe religion should be shoved down our throats. We have a son playing high school football who worships Drew Brees. Don’t you think Mr. Brees should keep his religion to himself? He has taken his religion too far by encouraging kids to take Bibles to school. I am put off by this move on his part.

Dear Reader,

Oh gee. Let me get this straight. You are put off by a book that teaches the human race to be kind to one another, respect parents, and choose good over evil? Okay, now I get it. No, actually I don’t get it, but let’s try to walk through this together.

Seriously, it’s hard to understand how a body navigates our children’s moral compass if we aren’t teaching good solid values, life principles, healthy boundaries, and—news flash—the Bible is the perfect blueprint for that. Why reinvent the wheel when God’s got ya covered through His Word?

Look, I am not really trying to be bombastic, but you gotta ask yourself, what is your beef with Bibles? What is everyone so afraid of—that your kids might pick up some decent life lessons on how to treat people or deal with conflict? There is some good stuff in there even if you don’t believe. And it’s not about religion, it’s all about relationship and faith.

For the record—which may not matter a hill a beans to those of you who take issue with Bibles—but Brees suggested to students to bring their Bible for one day, and one day only. Not religion day. Not see-who-you-can-put-off day. And not shove-religion-down-your-throat day, but “Bring your Bible to School Day,” hosted by a purty reputable organization. That’s all.

Drew Brees is a Saint. Encouraging the kids was a good thing. He has since recoiled a bit due to the backlash and, truly, I wish he hadn’t. Even big guys get bullied, and Saints are no exception. I was surprised that he buckled under pressure and walked it back, like a ten-yard penalty. I hope like crazy those of us who claim faith would stand firm when confronted with bullies. But you never know until you are in someone else’s cleats.

Raise ‘Em Up Right

September 10, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

What happens when your son received a Division IA full-ride scholarship to play football in college and actually played last year as a true freshman? I just found out he was cut from the team for this upcoming year. This doesn’t make sense.

Dear Reader,

Without knowing more, it’s tough to say. This sounds like there’s one black-eyed pea got lost in a pot of collard greens! I bet Junior isn’t tellin’ the whole story.

I might guess there is more going on than what you’ve been told. Or, what you are telling me. I assume you talked to the head coach and your son’s position coach. If not, do so. Is your son home or still on campus?

Usually, a four-year scholarship with a D-IA program would be honored, even if the player has been injured and could never play again for his university, or for whatever health issues cropped up, or for most any other reason he may have been cut from the team. Maybe he’s allergic to grass.

Coaches tend to keep a player on, if possible, and honor the scholarship, even though that cuts into their roster numbers. Meaning, college coaches can only keep so many on-paid scholarship per year. If the player is able, coach will work him in some capacity, like maybe helping the equipment guy, or keeping the weight room clean. That is, if the player is in good standing with the coaches. In other words, if the student athlete didn’t blow it with drugs, drunken conduct, or rape allegations—just to name a few issues that would get him kicked off his team and campus, pronto.

If the program sent your son packing, and the coaches are pulling his scholarship, that is a bad sign. Something happened, and it’s not good. This is one reason why I try so hard to encourage parents to set boundaries now while the kid is still home in high school, if not before. Say like, from the toddler stage. I’ve heard all kinds of stories and, honestly, they all could have been prevented if parents would just parent, and stop trying to play some sort of peer popularity contest with their kids. Parents should never put up with a bunch of goobly-goop excuses, and they should hold kids accountable while they still have time. Integrity counts, y’all.

This is what I’ve found to be true through the years. Not only do kids pattern what is lived out before them, but they will do purdy much what is expected of them. If you expect them to stay out all night drinking, drugging, smoking, that’s what they’ll do. If, on the other hand, you expect them to remember where they came from and behave themselves, they will pretty much do that as well. I’ve heard so many parents say, “Well they’re just being teenagers, and they’re going to get in some trouble.” Guess what, that may be true to an extent, but ya don’t need to let your kids know that it’s okay with you. Golly, don’t you want to hold your child to a higher stander than expecting him/her to get into trouble?

Parenting is a tough job—it’s not for sissies. It’s up to you to get to the bottom of the collard greens pot and fish out that black-eyed pea. Otherwise, you could be one of those parents whose son lives in your basement forty years from now. I’m just saying, if you have pulled strings in the past to get him out of trouble, you’ve already set a pattern, and he may think you can do the same now. It’s never too late to hold your child responsible for his/her actions. Although at this stage, it will be harder.

You are right. This doesn’t make sense.

Dear Football Mom,

I am trying hard to raise my four boys on my own. They all love the game of football. Actually, two of them may have the potential to play in college. That would be a wonderful blessing as I stress education over sports. Hoping all four go to college, graduate, and become successful regardless of my empty bank account. But receiving a scholarship to play football in college would be a big help.

What can I do to make sure the two who may have the ability, play in college with a scholarship?

Dear Reader,

The most you can do is make sure he/they are the ones who want to play in college. Keep open communication with your sons, stay grounded, and keep a positive attitude. The rest is window dressing.

By that I mean hopefully they’ve got a great work ethic. Get good grades. Work hard in the weight room and on the field. They respect their coaches, teachers, and you. They have proven results as unselfish team players. They eat well. Keep curfews. Stay out of trouble.

If you have followed me for long, you know I have a heart for single moms. Wow, that’s a lot of guy stuff flying around your house. I think I would lose any religion the good Lord gave me trying to keep up four boys much less making them toe the line. I’m kidding of course, because boys are huge blessings. But I can imagine how hard it has been doing things on your own in the guy’s world of football. I’ve been in your shoes.

Talk to your head coach. Yes, Mom, you can do it. Make sure he believes they’ve got the stuff to play beyond Friday nights. Ask him if he has a game plan, a strategy to help your boys during recruitment to play college ball, and what that might look like. Does he plan to make a highlight film? What, if anything, does he feel you could do to further or support those goals.

Most high school coaches like to help in this process. But remember, if you are feeling ignored, he’s got a job to do during this part of playing season, teeing up and preparing to play other teams. If your son will be a senior next year or so, you’ve got a little time. I suggest talking to coaches after Christmas break. Especially if your team is winning and coach is busy getting his team ready for region or state playoffs. That’s his top priority. Be patient. And praying never hurt nobody.

Nike vs. Betsy

August 26, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

We don’t have a son in football anymore, but we do love the game and support the high school team that our son once played for. In fact, we are nearly lifelong members of the football booster club, active with different projects, and help with fundraising. I say all that to qualify ourselves so you’ll answer a quick question for us. I know you don’t usually answer questions from people who don’t have sons in football, but what about those of us who are football enthusiasts? We do have a question. Do you think Nike was right to pull the Betsy Ross flag off their shoes?

Dear Reader,

Oh, swell. I get it. This is a bait and switch question if I ever saw one. You just want to hear this football mom go berserk, guns-a-blazin’ about everyone’s favorite quarterback, Colin Kaepernick. I guess you knew it would be hard for me to resist posting this question. Good guess. Saddle up cowboys. I’m game. Caution … for those with soft skin—saddle sores likely.

The dude can’t get a job with NFL, whines about the NFL via his recent Twitter remark, so exactly what is his job these days? Looks to me like his job is the never-ending story of degrading a country that affords him a lifestyle only few could dream of. Poor ole Colin, he’s cornbread ain’t done in the middle. Bless his heart.

If my recollection is right, the backlash was all about slave owners during the Betsy Ross days. Good heavens, if anybody has a gripe to whip on the forefathers it would be the Native Americans. The trail of tears history still stabs at my heart. We took their land, took their culture, and literally took their lives. And if you think for one minute that was right, you’d be wrong. All down through history, there has never been a group of folks, who have been a perfect bunch of people. Never.

But feeling sorry for yourself is downright ugly, and constantly claiming the race card borders on ridiculous in this day and age. Lots of folks have been hoodwinked and tons of money made off this one issue. What a shame. Those efforts could be put to good use. If you can’t come up with something more intelligent that adds to society, then shut up and sit down. Or, better yet, go volunteer and help someone who may be in a tough spot. I’ve seen nothing so far proving that anyone is any better off from protesting the American flag, whether it’s Betsy’s or not.

Makes you wonder why Nike put Betsy’s flag on their shoes in the first place, given their spokesman’s disdain for America. The guy hired a year or so ago was certainly not indicative of the All-American spirit, which you might think makes up most of the company’s customers. They chose the wrong knee-bender. There was another knee-bender who may have represented Nike’s target audience better, who also doesn’t have a job in the NFL. Tim Tebow would have done America proud. Would have done Nike proud. That boy isn’t whining, he’s taking chances and exemplifies class. The guy Nike got belly-aches and has done no favors for the company. Really begs the question, where do Nike’s loyalties lie in the first place? I would think, in their bank account.

Americans have bought their share of Nike products through the years. I have always heard the old cliché, “don’t bite the hand that feeds ya.” But, boy howdy, Nike blew that premise up without so much as a jog through the park in tennis shoes. You reckon Nike gives a rip about its consumers, (that’s you and me), what we think, or how we react to negative rhetoric about our country? Bologna! Of course not. They don’t give a hoot or holler about American patriotism.
What a farce this company turned out to be. If everyone stopped buying their products, I suppose they’d change the error of their ways. Those Betsy flags would be back on them shoes lickety split.

Then again, just every once in a while, good things come out of controversial chaos. Thanks to Rush Limbaugh and his Betsy Ross flag T-shirt, many lives have been made better with the 3 million dollars donated to the 100% not-for-profit Tunnel to Towers Foundation. Due to the sales of the T-shirts, injured service members, first responders, and gold star families who’ve paid the supreme sacrifice for our flag, country, and freedom were helped in a big way. Check it out: www.tunnel2towers.org.

Now, I would say that’s putting your energy to good use. If you want a Betsy Ross flag T-Shirt, be sure to go to Rush’s site www.rushlimbaugh.com as he’s the only ticket in town donating all proceeds to Tunnel to Towers Foundation. Not all copycat outlets are. Make sure you get the real deal.

Personally, I liked the Betsy Ross tennis shoes. Almost thought Nike had grown a brain and decided to invoke patriotism. But guess not. Betsy, if you can hear me, I am one who is grateful for your flag. It will always represent the sacrifice of thousands from every nationality, race, tribe, and creed, and the hardships they went through to bring our country to freedom. Heck, without those willing to lay it on the line in 1776, we could be playing football with that little round black and white ball.

Let Them Play Ball

August 13, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

My son is in middle school, and wants to play football. He’s been attending some grueling practices that I think are too tough in the first place for his age. Then, the other day, coach sent home a booklet full of rules and regulations that I think are also too tough and ridiculous. The coach plans on cutting boys from his team. I thought no matter the skill set, all kids could play football. I think this is so unfair! I want to give this coach a piece of my mind. Should I? What is up with cutting players? It’s only middle school!

Dear Reader,

Oh goodness, I get what you’re saying. You mean it’s come to this, cutting players in middle school, already. Mercy.

Let me stop you right now before you go earsplitting the coach’s head off and maybe come off looking like a boob yourself. Trust me—done it on occasion only to have it backfire. Shuffling through a stadium with mud all over your face is not fun. Humbling, but not fun.

Y’all must be the hottest ticket in town. Your son’s school surely has a large student body, and winning football program. Heck, that’s a lethal combination right there—winning program, plus high student population. With tradition like that, I just bet the sign-up sheet swelled, and coach has no choice but to cut a few players. Who wants to sign up and play for a team that’s not a winner? That’s a tough act to follow for other schools.

Maybe with the high cost to outfit the eighty or so players (guessing number) that went out for the team, it’s just not financially possible or reasonable to keep them all. Or, maybe your coach has a limited number of assistants, and no way is it feasible to handle the multiple number of players. Maybe some players just can’t cut it, and should be cut. I suppose, bottom line, there is a combination of different reasons, and no one knows for sure. But, before marching in to whack his head off, do a little research first.

If you are part of a booster club, talk with other parents, ask questions, and get some facts. I suggest finding out if the issue is money. If it is, then help raise it. And by all means, do not talk to your coach unless you are a booster member or soon to become one. Booster clubs are made up of mostly parents—they can be the biggest supporters or the hugest headaches for coaches. Be a supporter. Follow coach’s rules regardless of your opinion.

Shucks. Yes, there was a time when the no-cutting rule applied to most all levels of prep football. Any fella could join the team and play for his school, long as he worked hard, didn’t miss practice, kept his grades up, and followed coach’s rules. Might be a bench warmer, but still part of the team. I really, really hate to see it come to this. Of course, basketball and other sports habitually always cut players. I mean there are only so many that can fit into a gym and line up under a basket. But football? You’ve got to be kidding.

Dear Football Mom,

Our son was premature at birth and had undergone several surgeries by the time he was six months old. He is now a growing, healthy ten-year-old who is begging us to allow him to play football. His buddies have played the last few years on Pee Wee teams, and he has wanted to play since they were on a team. He talks about it every day, all summer long, and seems determined to persuade us to sign him up. We’ve never tried to hold him back, but we have been cautious as to what activities he’s involved in.

It’s not just the concussion issue that bothers me, it’s his entire body that would be in jeopardy. Football worries me more than my husband. I even went so far as to gather the paperwork to sign him up and found that parents have to sign a “not responsible clause for health or injuries.” It even indicates that they are not responsible for death. We did everything to save his life and though that was ten years ago, I still can’t bring myself to put him in a dangerous sport like football. What would you do?

Dear Reader,

Zowza. This is definitely a conflict. A conflict of emotions, and unquestionably, a tussle within a mother’s heart. Only you know how severe his condition was upon being born. I’d say he’s played several quarters of football already! I gotta tell you, this is a tough one for me.

I’m assuming you have clearance from his doctors and surgeons. More importantly, you know the extent of his health issues today and whether or not he’s in as good of condition as you say. If this is true, ask yourself, why do I wrestle with letting him play?

Of course, I cannot sugarcoat the fact that football is a contact sport. Football is the ultimate contact team sport, but nowadays, techniques have gotten so much better to lower the risk of injury. It’s not like kids are coached to go head to head, helmet to helmet. No, it’s much more sophisticated, even in Pee Wee. Still, there is no guarantee from injuries.

Sounds like your boy has been given the awesome gift of life, peppered with passion for the game. If he’s been at it all summer trying to talk you into signing him up, he’s no quitter and sure proved that his first few months of life. I can only imagine what suffering and anguish y’all went through to get this child healthy, much less what he went through. But to answer this question for you would be like me running interference on Mike Ditka.

This may sound brutal, heartless even, but your son can get hurt no matter what activity he’s involved in, and I don’t mean that to sound flippant. It may be time to move on and look to the future instead of stewing over the painful past. I certainly empathize with you.

Did you know there are children with visible disabilities who play football? I’ve had questions in the past from parents with kids who have done absolutely fabulous with their, what I like to call, “special gifts” playing football. They’ve thrived on the field. If you choose to let your son play, I certainly hope that he, too, will flourish on the field and has a blast while at it.

Maybe you can look at your Pee Wee program with different eyes. If you were running your county football league in this sue-happy world, wouldn’t you want parents to sign a “not responsible for injury” clause? I think signing the papers with that clause is your biggest hurdle. I get it.

Give it one season. Let the kid play. Sign the papers.

Football is Like An Orchestra

Tackling the Tough Ones

Raise ‘Em Up Right

Nike vs. Betsy

Let Them Play Ball

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