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Are You Talkin’ To Me? How to spot an interested college recruiter

November 23, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

How many millions does it take to hire a good head coach? You know, one that isn’t full of donkey poo, puts together a college football program without empty promises, and maybe promotes honesty. Any trustworthy coaches out there? As a mother of a high school player, I’m over these college football coaches and their ridiculously high-paying salaries with over-inflated egos. None of them have offered my son a thing, not even from the smaller schools. I’m not so sure any of these coaches could identify talent if it hit them head-on. Time is short, what do we do to get our son signed?

Dear Reader,

The first thing you don’t do is let the college coaches see you sweat. I see your frustration from here. Trust me though, college coaches are excellent at finding talent and, yes, sometimes it hits them square in the face. That is, if they aren’t tripping over themselves.

If your question really hinges on the amount of money college coaches make—and a programs budget—then you’ll be in for sticker shock. No price tag for a product can compare to football on college campuses. I’m afraid that cost information could send you hurling smack-dab through the likes of a Texas Longhorn. I could never add that to my already clogged-up conscience if you happened to end up hooked on a horn. I would not pass the sniff test to even speculate the expense of running college football programs. If numbers aren’t on jerseys or on scoreboards, I’m purty useless.

Things like, is it a start-up program in which said university never offered the sport of football before and they are starting from scratch? Or, smaller school looking to build on accomplishments jumping to D-IA? Those are questions for the folks who get paid bigger bucks than me. Ones who have experience in football finance, economics, and television deals. Those who have keys to the safety deposit boxes in banks owned by wealthy alum, willing to fork out the bucks. Those are the folks to answer your question.

The powerhouses of the college game are money machines that never sleep. They churn out the change twenty-four-seven. If boosters and fans of super-conferences are willing to spend x amount of dollars to get on waiting lists just for season tickets, or up to $100,000-plus for a cushy spot on the fifty-yard line to seat their blessed assurance, then creating a football program should be a walk in the park. I suspect it’s not that simple.

My suggestion—if you really want to know—is read Billion Dollar Ball by two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Gilbert M. Gaul. This is a book loaded with eye-opening information and all the stats your little pea-pickin’ heart desires. Plus, Gaul scrutinizes the pay scales of football’s fancy coaches. It’s a few years old, and some stats may have changed a little, like Nick Saban’s puny salary. What won’t change is Saban’s smart-aleck sass. Then again, Alabama lost to LSU on Saturday. No offense to Tide fans, but I noticed Saban was absent for any post-game remarks. What a shame. He loves the media … like he loves a snake bite.

So, back to your son. You’re telling me coaches have shown interest but haven’t come through with a solid offer. What they are really saying is, “we’ve got to see if the kid we really want will sign with us and if he doesn’t, then we’ve got room for you.” I could almost promise you that is the ruse on the part of the coaches. And, it is a little early. Y’all do have some time.

Nothing wrong with pinning the coaches down, yourself. If they are still calling your home or your son’s phone, then speak with coach ask him point blank. If they aren’t calling or keeping in touch, do a little digging. Begin with talking to your high school coach. Get as much information from him as you can such as, are recruiters calling you about our son?

Then here it can get tricky but be brave, write down what you’d like to say and go for it. Call the football office of the college showing the most interest and ask to speak with the recruiter who has been in contact with y’all. Be upfront and ask him something like, if your son fits their program, whether he’s still in the running, and when might they make a decision and offer him a scholarship. If they hem and haw, then there’s your answer. Thank him for his time and of course never burn a bridge, always leave it, if something changes, I trust you’ll be in touch. Then go to the next college on the radar. Then the next, and on down the line.

By the way, when talking to these coaches, remember they owe you nothing. Keep the frustrated attitude locked up. Humble is always the way to approach most anything in life.

Beyond the Lights: Questions following the Tamron Hall Show

November 8, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

We saw you on the Tamron Hall Show talking about the pay to play passing in California for college athletes and we have two questions: What were you talking about with the “worms” being “slippery little devils,” and what did you mean about playing for the love of the game? Our son is a junior in high school playing football, and college recruiters are showing interest. What is wrong with football players or any student athlete getting paid?

Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for watching and for these fantastic follow up questions, bringing more attention to this ruling. The devil, as the cliché goes, is in the details. My game plan options and opinions went kapowee. The clock ran out in that segment before I had a chance to throw the ball. Not promising a touchdown, but …

The worm reference has gotten a lot of buzz. Hopefully, this will bring a pinch of clarity for everyone reading our column. Then again, sometimes I’m clear as mud.

It was my way of explaining, in a saucy comedic way, the fact that this law is not yet in play, and there is still time to reverse such a reckless ruling. After it’s implemented, it will be harder to put a cap on the can of worms as they bury themselves in the ground or scoot off into oblivion. They are slippery little devils and hard to catch wiggling everywhere like they’d just got bit by red aunts. I reckon this law will be harder to pull back once it goes into effect. Hence the worm analogy. It’s easier to keep the lid on the can of worms instead of frantically running after them, chasing them back into the can when they’ve got a good head start.

This little ruling will only wreak havoc later down the road and create that hotdog mentality. It will allow commercial companies to seek endorsements for their products, paying players for their John Henry (signatures), and that’s code for some players to bring attention to themselves so the spotlight shines on them, giving the products, they represent free publicity. The ruse of the players, encouraged by the commercial companies, to hotdog brings in more money and profit when showing out on televised games. This translates to bulging bank accounts for those few players. Duhh. No team about it at all.

The effect will be mind-blowing all right. Decision makers such as chancellors, deans, or presidents of universities could bury their heads, I suppose, for kickbacks (see how money makes everybody involved gamble and goofy). Then try finding an authentic athletic director, one who isn’t willing to turn a blind eye receiving payment from sports companies for, let’s say, unrestrained access to their athletes. Or head coaches or assistants. Or for that matter, recruiting players whose heart’s desire is pure and plays for the love the game.

As if recruiting isn’t hard enough, now players are going on the chopping block to the highest bidder. No longer will recruiters find players who feel it a privilege to receive a scholarship offer. They’ll want that fat paycheck to boot. Prep players may demand to be hooked up with companies for endorsements, or wage bets on how much said college program will dole out for a player’s percentage of jersey sales. I suppose too, talent level will drop.

You might as well go ahead and throw the word “team” in the trash. It will no longer be the game we all cheer and root for. Talk about a scam… have mercy! This makes recruiting cheating scandals look like child’s play in a sand box.

Now, I will share the fact that yes, there is a need for pocket change so players can buy toothpaste and shaving cream. If the programs themselves paid players a small amount of cash per week or whatever, then fine. Have you ever seen the “adult” pro players—who do get paid enormous bucks—handle money wisely? It’s rare, so how the heck do you think kids will handle it? It’s sure to be the best booze bonus going. Just what college coaches need, more watchful oversights. Those poor ol boys won’t know if they’re coming, or going, or already been there!

And by the way, the players are getting paid. They are receiving a free … that is FREE … education, study hall assistance, free tutors at their disposal, free books, free meals, free lodging, and even free medical care. Besides all of that, those who really need financial assistance can apply for something called pale grants. Also FREE money.

This is college football, not pro football. Graduate, get a job, form a career, create your own wealth with your free education. Honestly, don’t y’all think that should be the ultimate goal for any student athlete? Graduate college.

From California with Love

October 22, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son is a senior in a California high school. I found you under a Google search, Football Mom, and saw your website and column. Very interesting and really like the content. I have a question: Said son is a quarterback and is being recruited from several colleges on the East coast. He has always wanted to play for our #### University here, and they have offered him a scholarship. However, to be blunt, our state is in bad shape. My husband and I are both from here. Our families are here. We reared our two children here. But because of many horrible politicians making bad choices for us, we are looking to leave a state we once loved dearly. Are we wrong for encouraging our son to choose an East coast college so we can go ahead and move without feeling guilty of leaving family? He is open to it, but that wasn’t his childhood dream. I’m asking for your honest opinion.

Dear Reader,

I can only share honest opinions … it’s very humid here! That’s something you don’t have to put up with in CA.

All kidding aside, that is some loaded question. I reckon as long as we’re being blunt, you’re right: your state was one of the most gorgeous states in the union, until …

As far as I know, you can still leave any state whenever you want, including CA. But I see where you’re going with this. If your son chooses a college in California, y’all want to stay and see him play. If he chooses a college on the East coast, you want to move sooner than later so y’all can watch him play. How blessed you are to have choices like that. Most folks and parents of athletes’ don’t have nearly the luxury.

My first suggestion: make sure your son chooses the college he wants to attend. Provided he indeed has choices, allow him to figure it out. Give him some space. If he happens to choose a California college, be sure to swallow a big gulp of itching to move and support his decision. After all, your family can move East later or now, depending on your financial means to travel for his collegiate games, if you choose to watch him play.

Second suggestion: make sure he is wanted wherever that may be. For instance, you stated he’d already been offered a few scholarships in CA. Is the same true of an East college program as well, or are they still on the flattering front? Before y’all go rooting up your entire household and haul everyone East, make sure your son has a solid offer from that East coast college, i.e. an offer in writing. Things can get mighty squirrely just days before signing day. Gather your nuts … in other words, all the information you can before he makes his final decision.

Third suggestion: chill out. Things have a way of coming together the way they are supposed to. And if y’all happen to come East, bring lots of hair spray and gnat repellant!

Dear Readers,

Ironically, just a few weeks after I received the above question, I was contacted by ABC-Disney’s Tameron Hall Show to discuss the passing of the recent law “pay to play” in California. The two are really not connected, but I thought it was right serendipitous for me to focus on CA answering this question, and the law just past in the state for the last few weeks.

Quite an honor and very humbling that the producers of the show found me through my website, www.CandyAWestbrook.com. After several conversations with several producers, they flew me to New York City as a guest of the show to discuss the pros and cons this law will generate. Just so we are very clear here, I oppose this law, vehemently.

What happened to playing for the love of the game? And we wonder why the NCAA is a necessary evil. Now its role will be even bigger. There is no “fair” in football. Trust me, there really isn’t.

But let’s say for the sake of argument it could be fair. The pay to play wouldn’t create a hotdog effect on any players. Sure, I have land in the Okefenokee Swamp for sale that’s sure to go commercial and perfect for condos too. This law won’t go into effect for a few years. There is still time to get the worms back in the can!

The problem isn’t the pay out, the problem is the way it will be doled out. So, give the players a weekly stipend from the college program. Make it the same for every student athlete across the board, all sports, and for big schools, little schools. But that’s not what is happening. Individual athletes can get endorsement deals from sports companies and get paid zillions in college if this bill is enforced. That is not good. No way no how is it good for any “team.”

Stayed tuned. Questions are coming in about this law. It won’t be purty, but it will be brutally honest from this football mom. Count on it.

Football is Like An Orchestra

October 10, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

We are about fed-up with the favoritism our head coach lavishes on a few certain players. Our son is an offensive lineman and not only does coach snub him, but most of the boys who are playing on the OL. He is always with the quarterback, wide receivers, and running backs, or helping the defense during practice and never checks on or spends time with the offensive line. We are about ready to go talk to the athletic director or the principal, but are afraid it will make matters worse.

What is your advice?

Dear Reader,

So, you feel that your son and the offensive line is being treated like a second fiddle by your head coach. I hear ya. Let’s see if we can get this little thing in perspective and look at the difference between the pickin’ and a grinnin’.

You may not know of the famous conductor Leonard Bernstein, but he was once a purty big deal in Hollywood. He wrote the scores for West Side Story, Rear Window, and On the Town staring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra, to name a few. A reporter once asked him, in regards to his orchestra, “What’s the most difficult instrument to play?”

“Second fiddle,” he replied, and added, “if no one plays second, there’s no harmony.”

The same goes for the offensive linemen on a football team. If there is no protection for the quarterback, or holes made for running backs, then there is dang-sure no harmony on that football team! Without the offensive line, the quarterback and his accompaniments are useless. No way can he get his job done by pitching the ball, or getting his balls airborne or in the hands of any running backs. Without the second fiddle (the OL) there is no harmony, no rhythm, no tune, and no way to move the ball forward, much less hurling it to wide receivers for touchdowns before the quarterback’s backside meets grass by a brood of defensive guys out for blood.

Offensive linemen are a peculiar bunch. The dream of an OL coach would be to have a group of guys up front who are tightly woven like a string of pearls. Then add a perfectly performed precision ballet by moving in sync with one another, creating a barrier that no defense could break. These guys spill their guts every time the ball is snapped, only to receive little glory for the battle. Have you ever heard an announcer praise and call out an offensive lineman’s name for that marvelous pancake blocking? Maybe ever so often, but it’s gotta be a mighty-darn special block and usually down field, not off the line of scrimmage. The neutral zones are the most physical blocks—the more athletic blocks are down field. Either way, blocking is a rough fiddle to strum. These dudes are the most unselfish players on the team.

I do a lot of reading between the lines within the questions we receive, and this question is no different. If I had to guess, I suppose head coach has a lot of notes he’s trying to make into melodies, and his time is already split coaching and drilling the quarterback and wide receivers, making sure they know how to run his routes and understand his game plans. Checking on his defense to get them ready to stop the next opponent and execute his game plan for that to happen, is probably second nature to him. He’s checking his song sheet so his team ends up on the same page of music. I do believe that’s kinda what you’d want in a coach.

He’s not a babysitter—he’s orchestrating a perfect harmony for his team, and that requires focus where the trouble spots are to hit the keys just right. I suspect you are a winning team this season, and he’s doing all he can to keep it that way.

Your coach may be from the offensive side of the ball, meaning he played quarterback in college or whatever, and he’s teaching what he knows. He also may have a lot of trust in his offensive line coach. Maybe they worked together to craft their offense strategy over the summer, and coach has complete confidence in this position coach. If I had to bet, I would bet the offensive line is looking great in games, on film, or in practice, and y’all are headed for a crescendo season. Coach feels his time is better spent honing drills with the ball carriers. He’s not needed on the OL. That’s a good thing. That means your son and his teammates are nailing their assignments.

Hear me on this. Whether or not he is from the offensive side of the ball, he is well aware of how valuable his second fiddle, the OL, really is. I don’t believe for a second he’s playing favorites; he’s just one guy trying to make the most out of the time and the talent he’s got, and he’s not about to micro manage the OL, because there are no flat notes being played out there.

If you do decide to go to the AD or the principal, you may end up with nothing more than the cat and the fiddle. Wouldn’t that put a knot in the cow’s tail as he jumped over the moon?

Tackling the Tough Ones

October 8, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son played varsity football in high school last year, and again starts first string as a sophomore this year. His head coach just moved him to start as a linebacker on defense. He also starts as right tackle on the offensive line. That means he’s playing both ways. With no breaks in between, he drinks sports drinks by the pound and tries to stay hydrated, eats well, and stays healthy, but I’ve got to tell you this is so hard on him. He is about give out on Friday nights. While we are proud of him, we are also concerned that this is too much wear and tear on his body. It is so hard. Should we talk to the coach?

Dear Reader,

Super duper! Your son must be headed beyond Friday nights. Sounds to me like he is one cool cat at playing this game. It’s an honor, really it is.

That said, I couldn’t sugarcoat this no matter how hard I’d try. It’s meant to be hard. Without the hard, this game would just be ordinary. It’s the hard that makes the game extraordinary. And playing both ways gives your son experiences he wouldn’t ordinarily have on the field playing just one position.

Yes, it’s hard. You should know that the coach wouldn’t have put him in this position if it wasn’t best for the team, or if he felt your son couldn’t handle it. I don’t believe there is a coach anywhere who wants his players hurt. Football and playing one position are hard enough. Playing both ways is giving your son opportunities of a lifetime, valued experience, and will put him in the category of extraordinary talent once he finishes high school. Yes, it’s hard.

Is he complaining? Sounds to me like he is staying healthy, and doing the right things to keep it that way. Does he want to play in college? Now, I’m not saying that playing both ways is a sure way to have recruiters lining up at your home, salivating, licking their chops to sign your son, but it does give him an edge, and his ability to be versatile gives him notability. Quite honestly, it’s all about position in college. Rarely do you see players playing both ways on college teams. But playing both ways now widens his scope of understanding the game and will give him unprecedented vision when it comes to reading opponents, regardless of offense or defense. And that my dear friend, is priceless.

Think of it this way: try to look beyond the pooped-out at the end of his games and look at the what ifs because of playing both ways. What if he catches the eyes of recruiters and has the opportunity to play in college? What if he is offered a full-ride scholarship? What if, because of playing both ways, his stats go up, toughness increases, and he sharpens his skills to put his marketability on top and ends up becoming an NFL-er?

What if? The possibilities are never ending. If it weren’t hard, it wouldn’t be football. Are there really any easy roads to success?

Dear Football Mom,

We are a football family who doesn’t believe religion should be shoved down our throats. We have a son playing high school football who worships Drew Brees. Don’t you think Mr. Brees should keep his religion to himself? He has taken his religion too far by encouraging kids to take Bibles to school. I am put off by this move on his part.

Dear Reader,

Oh gee. Let me get this straight. You are put off by a book that teaches the human race to be kind to one another, respect parents, and choose good over evil? Okay, now I get it. No, actually I don’t get it, but let’s try to walk through this together.

Seriously, it’s hard to understand how a body navigates our children’s moral compass if we aren’t teaching good solid values, life principles, healthy boundaries, and—news flash—the Bible is the perfect blueprint for that. Why reinvent the wheel when God’s got ya covered through His Word?

Look, I am not really trying to be bombastic, but you gotta ask yourself, what is your beef with Bibles? What is everyone so afraid of—that your kids might pick up some decent life lessons on how to treat people or deal with conflict? There is some good stuff in there even if you don’t believe. And it’s not about religion, it’s all about relationship and faith.

For the record—which may not matter a hill a beans to those of you who take issue with Bibles—but Brees suggested to students to bring their Bible for one day, and one day only. Not religion day. Not see-who-you-can-put-off day. And not shove-religion-down-your-throat day, but “Bring your Bible to School Day,” hosted by a purty reputable organization. That’s all.

Drew Brees is a Saint. Encouraging the kids was a good thing. He has since recoiled a bit due to the backlash and, truly, I wish he hadn’t. Even big guys get bullied, and Saints are no exception. I was surprised that he buckled under pressure and walked it back, like a ten-yard penalty. I hope like crazy those of us who claim faith would stand firm when confronted with bullies. But you never know until you are in someone else’s cleats.

Are You Talkin’ To Me? How to spot an interested college recruiter

Beyond the Lights: Questions following the Tamron Hall Show

From California with Love

Football is Like An Orchestra

Tackling the Tough Ones

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