football season Archives | Candy A. Westbrook

Let’s Talk College Recruiters

March 28, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

We are fast approaching spring practice at our high school and the annual spring game. Our coach tells us there could be a few college scouts that may attend. Our son will be a junior. Please tell me some tips for getting him noticed and ultimately recruited to play college football. What should he do to stand out?

Dear Reader,

I’m afraid that “tips” are just like the catch phrase, “farm to table” which was simply somebody’s quirky cliché for advertising purposes. Hasn’t all our food at some point comes from some farm, somewhere? It may have been processed to death, but by golly, it started out on a farm. “Tips” rings the same way. Magazines needed banner topics for different subjects so—presto—we have the word “tips.” Not trying to be a sassy-frass, but in football, there is no such thing as tips, unless that is, the ball got tipped on a field goal attempt. What I try to do is share information, pointers, and suggestions. I just really don’t have any tips, but I get what you mean, so let’s see if I can answer your question this way.

Every position in the game of football is different, and one size doesn’t fit all. That said there are some all-purpose pointers I’m happy to share. For the most part, there’s no magic formula, short cut, or equation to getting our sons noticed by college recruiters. The following includes a few suggestions for those guys of fall—well in this case, spring. It is up to your son however, to execute with as much excellence as he can muster.

Honestly, first and foremost, he’s got to play his heart out for his team. Period. Practice like he plays in a game. Stay diligent.

Be coachable. Attitude goes a long way. If he works hard and listens to his coach, that will pay dividends at the end of the day. Remember, his coach has relationships with college recruiters, college recruiters talk to high school coaches, and his coach will share with these cats information not only about his talent, but also on his coachability.

Be the guy who loves to compete. Leading his team to winning seasons is a plus. Like it or not, recruiters tend to show up more frequently at winning teams. It may not sound fair, but for college recruiters, time is money. They don’t have time to drive all over kingdom come for a “maybe” on losing teams. Coaches know teams that win, have at least a couple of competitors embedded within their team. College coaches always look for competitors.

Keep his nose clean. You can take that figuratively and literally. The last thing coaches need on campus are new recruits who have to be baby-sat. You might possess all the talent, break records right and left, but if you are a troublemaker—trust me, they will pass. You might qualify for D-IAA or D-II, but if you are a rebel-rouser, your chances for D-IA just left the stadium. College coaches don’t have time to waste on fools and scallywags.

Keep your grades up. Coaches are just as interested in your GPA as they are your time in the 40. I suggest taking the SAT or ACT in your sophomore or junior year. That way you can enjoy your senior year more and focus on your team (provided you met the college requirement scores). I would not waste money on the PSATs because they don’t count anyway. Nowadays, you can find several tutorials online that help students get up to speed and practice for these tests.

Naturally, the obvious—work out till the cows come home. Work hard to improve in everything, every aspect, every area. Increase your time in the 40 (yes even you offensive linemen). Get with your position coach and ask him some suggestions on what you can improve on. There is no such thing as not improving. You can always improve in something. Who says you can’t practice position reps at home?

To really stand out, leadership is key. Unselfish leadership is The Holy Grail. Getting teammates pumped up for games and practice, or helping other players with his position or stance or hundreds of other acts of unselfish leadership will put him ahead of any competition. He can’t be a casual bystander. He has to lead intentionally.

Hope this helped and that your son finds himself one day with several D-IA offers, which involves a whole other set of suggestions. Best wishes and shine-on.

Footnote: This is my last column until after July 4th. In the meantime, y’all have some awesome spring practices and keep the questions and comments coming … Candy@CandyAWestbrook.com please put “football question” in subject line. I promise to answer all in a few short months and as always, keep them confidential. Gooooo Football Moms!!!

How to Build a Bridge

February 26, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

I’m a coach’s wife at a small college and gossip, good or bad, travels quickly throughout our campus. In our close-knit community, rumor had it that my husband was getting fired at the end of this past season. He’s the head football coach. He has NOT been fired, at least not at this time. The rumors of him getting fired, however, soured the attitude of his staff, assistant coaches, and just about everyone associated with our program. A few assistants have already jumped ship. It is making recruiting extra hard. Is there anything I can do as his wife to help stop the bleeding?

Dear Reader,

Whoa. Thank you for reading our column and trusting me with this very sensitive situation. I’ve been asked some tough questions before, but this kind of goes beyond the stadium uprights. I’m not in the habit of telling wives of coaches, or for that matter, coaches what to do—unless that is, I’m in the stands at a game yelling mercilessly—as if I think I know something they don’t.

In this case, though, cheeky chatter put y’all in a pickle, all right. Hopefully, together we can unscrew the lid and share some ideas before they all go rancid. Remember this right-here, what I’m about to share, is no tried and true recipe.

I suppose your husband had a sit-down-fireside chat with your AD (athletic director) and/or the chancellor/president of the college. If not, I suggest he line up a meeting with these cats soon. Making sure everyone is executing the same game plan to stop the wagging tongues and false fabrications should be the first course of action. That’d be my number one priority, anyhow.

The second suggestion may be to initiate an all-out gathering of the troops: assistant coaches, equipment guys, trainers, support staff, administrators, professors, janitors, or any other college personnel that could have added to, or been privy to, the cock-and-bull stories. Here is where you come in.

I would think about inviting all these folks regardless of position, if they work at the college, invite them. Host a sort of Spring Soiree at your home before the spring scrimmage game. Wouldn’t that extinguish any embers floating and stop the innuendos hovering over your program? By bringing the staff, together and breaking bread, especially a home dinner, should establish some much-needed camaraderie.

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” –Abraham Lincoln. That means college football teams, too. Hosting the party on your turf, at your home, will set the stage of good faith effort on your part, and perhaps nudge the program forward with newly forged friendships. It’s hard to talk about somebody behind their back while eating their food.

No program can put together a winning team when naysayers and negative attitudes are feasibly the first folks parents see once visiting campus. When recruits come to the university, it’s in everyone’s interest to host these players and their families like they were royalty, regardless of how staff’s feels about their coach. Take that or not. A unified front and solidarity at the center of your program puts it ahead of others vying for talented players. Also, all staff should reek of graciousness, even those colleges above the Mason Dixon Line, or West of the Mississippi.

Third, when recruits do come on campus, I suggest being honest and upfront. “Hey, we’ve got things that need to get straightened out here, and we’re working hard on that. We need YOU to help us.” Being honest is always best. You may be surprised how that works to your advantage. I’ve never seen a competitive player yet who didn’t love a challenge.

Of course winning, next season won’t hurt either.

Dear Football Mom,

Our high school booster club is running short of money and parents’ participation. We’ve had some losing seasons the last few years, and no one is very motivated to help. I’m the president of our club and wanted to push for a fundraiser for our spring practice game. Only a handful of parents signed up to help. What should I do?

Dear Reader,

You start with the handful. Thank your lucky stars for the handful. Do what you can with what you’ve got. Maybe it won’t be the big-banger-moneymaker you envisioned, but fall will be here before you know it, and you’ll need help then too. Groom the ones who do get involved to accept more responsibility come game season.

Whatever you do, don’t let them see you sweat. Change your attitude, and be positive even if it kills you. Smile and have fun. Ignore the ones who don’t help or won’t help, and when they see y’all having fun; they’ll know they are missing out on something special. Maybe then, you’ll have more parents who’ll want a piece of the action.

Be creative. Instead of a “sign-up” sheet, make it a “Parents/Grandparents Participation Sheet.” Maybe offer free window decals for parents who work concession stand. You get the idea. Make it a privilege for parents to participate in their son’s booster club. After all, it is a privilege.

Attitude is everything. It’s like I told a preacher once long ago when he complained in the pulpit about the ones who weren’t there. After service I said, “Hey man, preach to the ones who “are” here, and forget about the ones who “aren’t.” What do you think we are? Chopped liver?”

When Christmas Brings Conflict

December 17, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Why is my son so bent on working out during Christmas break instead of going to Colorado with his family skiing? Granted, he’ll be a senior next year and is working hard for a college football scholarship, but enough already. He wants to stay with his buddy’s family, as his friend’s dad owns several fitness centers, and they can work out together over the break. I’m a little upset with his buddy’s parents too, because I think they should have encouraged our son to go with us instead of offering for him to stay with them.

What say you?

Dear Reader,

This is a new one on me. What kid gives up Colorado skiing for working out?

Y’all do know my hair frizzes straight up each time I receive one of these read-between-the-lines psychological questions, sure enough, as if I stuck a finger in a Christmas light bulb socket with it turned on. I can see ol’ Clark Griswold, now. Y’all know I don’t claim to be that bright, but we’ll giver ’er a try.

My first thought actually has nothing to do with working out. Yes, you are right. For high schoolers, unless they are in a late state playoff after Christmas, they should be able to take a few days off during the holidays. Notice I said days, not weeks.

I suppose something could be brewing behind that snowman … and it’s not hot chocolate. It usually comes down to a girl in the mix somewhere. Then again, maybe he is just that serious about working toward a scholarship and has a valid fear of getting hurt on the slopes. Maybe your son is wise beyond his years. Injuries can spoil chances of saddling-up with scholarship offers, not to mention they hurt like the dickens.
If this is a new tradition for your family, my guess is he just doesn’t want change at Christmastime. Or—and this is a big OR—that purty little gal is pulling on his heartstrings to stay behind. He could be torn between spending time with her, or traveling with his family and then feeling like the Grinch. Oh, the G-force those gals have on our sons’ when their heads turn and their hearts go pitter-patter over a girl. Why, it’s downright frightening for mamas. Since his senior year is around the corner and time is short, he could be thinking he’d better take advantage of the time they have—if he’s even thinking that far in advance. Lots of maybe’s here, but like I said … reading between the lines.

The other thing that comes to mind and it chills me like icicles to be this honest, but maybe your son enjoys his friend’s family for various reasons instead of spending spare time with his own family. Does it feel like sand paper rubbing friction when all of you are together? Do you and you husband argue? Is chaos lurking behind every family gathering? Do tempers fly? Is alcohol a problem with adults? I know these are very personal questions. Please keep in mind I don’t want to know the answers. The questions are only there for you to mull over and consider, is all.

And by the way, there are no Norman Rockwell families out there. Even if you think his buddy’s family has it together, I tend to doubt its peaches and cream all the time. Put another log on that picture-perfect fire please, and hang those stocking with care.

Have an old fashion heart-to-heart talk with your son. Be honest with him. Tell him this stung a smidge and pricked your heart. If you are honest with him, I’m almost sure he’ll be honest with you. I believe your family just might huddle closer once your hearts open and y’all clear the air. Keep your cool no matter what he says. Give him the opportunity to share his feelings without jumping into soot from the fireplace.

Remember in the end, you are the parent—he is still the child. And too, since you are the parent, it’s a good idea for him to listen to you and do what you ask. In all seriousness, he has to obey your wishes, regardless of how he feels.

Christmas Day will come no matter how you celebrate it. Just make sure your son knows how much you love him, no matter where he spends the day.

Dear Football Mom,

Is cheerleading a sport? I know you usually answer football questions, but thought I’d try to get your input here. My daughter is going to cheer next year for football at a Division-I college, and yet they don’t offer scholarships for cheerleaders. Something is wrong with that.

Dear Reader,

I have to agree. College cheerleaders should be awarded full scholarships, period.

Depending on the school, some do give monies for room and board, books, or compensate the difference for out-of-state tuition. But generally, not all of the tuition. Not all of it, at all. Usually one or two expenses and that’s it. Partial scholarships do exist, as well as other scholarships such as academic and the like. They all apply. But a full-fledged cheerleader scholarship, like football scholarships have yet to be common practice, though it should be.

Cheerleaders matter. They matter a lot. Truthfully, I’d like to see a team win without them.

When football players try to get a crowd pumped up during a game, it’s a sign of weakness and desperation. I actually want to whup-upside the head some football-playing boys when I see them fellers turn into cheerleaders on the field. Good golly, guys, keep your heads in the game, Buck-a-roos. The cheers will come when you play tough and nail your assignments. Let the cheerleaders do their job and you do yours!
Cheerleaders matter. Yes, they flat-out matter. Is cheerleading a sport? It should be.

When the Going Gets Tough, Will You Get Going?

November 26, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

How do you help your son cope when he was carried off the field on a stretcher during the game playoffs last Friday night? He’s in the hospital with a broken ankle and will have surgery soon. He is so angry that he won’t be able to play for the region championship. He’s a wide receiver and has broken several school records this season. We are not a religious family, but I’ve read that you are. Would you pray for us? I’m afraid of what this is doing to his usual positive personality.

Dear Reader,

Oh, my stars, I am so sorry y’all are going through this trial. The truth is I’ve been in your shoes, and I know how hard it is, scary even, to see your child in pain and facing surgery. As moms, we are sometimes at a loss of how to help our children through this kind of adversity without becoming uptight, anxious, and full-blown frantic ourselves. Of course, I’ll pray for y’all, and all the other boys of fall who have taken a hit this year. As much fun as football is, it’s never fun to get laid up with injuries. But injuries don’t have to stop a player’s determination. In fact, it will reveal it.

Once rehab kicks in, it will be totally up to him as to his recovery. How determined will his willpower be in working through the pain? This is when the winner or whiner in him will come out. It is true. I tell you no lie. But as a mom of faith, I can tell you that leaning on the Lord is the best medicine, rehab, or recovery plan available.

That said, my best suggestion would be to start a game plan now. It is never good for an active athlete to while away the hours and get all bubble-headed. While he recovers from surgery, I would recommend reading a couple of books that might shine a light and help him through the downtime. You may even want to read out loud to him in the hospital. You’d be surprised how effective that is to get his mind off himself and that doggone injury.

My picks for reading are Never Shut Up by Marcellus Wiley or Shaken by Tim Tebow. Once home, your whole family may enjoy films like, My All American. That film would be my first choice. It’s an awesome story about a player who never gave up for the Texas Longhorns and head coach legend, Darrell Royal. It could bring a tear—it is a true story. He might also enjoy Touchback, another great story, but he may not appreciate the significance of the film until later. Of course, good ole Rudy, and Facing the Giants is really good too, it starts off slow, but you’ll be drawn in, in more ways than one.

Keeping a timely curfew and getting plenty of rest and h2o (water) is huge. No goofing off and being stupid. He’ll be behind with schoolwork anyhow, so keeping a regimen and a schedule is always a good idea. Keep any doctor appointments.

Make sure he eats healthy—green veggies, real food, meat, fish, and milk. And keep that boy off his foot as much as possible. In other words … no cape flying, no Superman stunts! Stay on the crutches when mobile, no weight bearing for a few weeks. Listen to the doc and after release—rehab, rehab, rehab.

I have no doubt this trial will turn for good at some point for your family, and y’all will come out even stronger than you ever thought possible. So will your son.

Dear Football Mom,

Our son wants to give up football after being benched most of the year. He has potential but no confidence. Next year he’ll be a sophomore in high school. It is the only sport he plays, and he really does love it. What can we do to increase his confidence?

Dear Reader,

What if Babe Ruth pulled out and didn’t show up after 1,330 strikeouts? What if Peyton Manning—who once had a speech impediment and was born with cleft palate—quit the position of quarterback, afraid to call the plays or counts because he wouldn’t be understood? What if Michael Jordon quit basketball after failing to make his high school basketball team as a sophomore.

These were all ordinary people who hung in, stuck to it, and came out on top with extraordinary results because they failed to give up. Of course, my stance has always been that it is more harmful to force kids to play. Football players have to want to play the game and make up their own minds to do so. However, not playing could put his confidence meter in a corner for a very long time.

Small success lead to bigger success, but ya gotta put yourself out there. Maybe he is great at math or loves science. Or, can run fast. The point is, find something that he likes, is good at and build on that. Small encouragement matters.

As for the confidence of your son, the little imp lie of “the comparison trap” might be more at play than you think. But hey, honestly, if he was a freshman on a varsity team, that’s purdy awesome right there, even if he did warm the bench. He still practiced, worked out, and helped his team, perhaps more than he knows.

Besides, you can learn a lot from the bench. But ya gotta pay attention. Take full advantage of the bench view, watch the game, the coaches, mark down mental notes, then who knows … he could be the guy with the red nose who’s called upon because of his rare talent—and leads his team to victory.

How to Be a True Leader—On and Off the Field

November 5, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

There is a chance we could be in the state playoffs for the first time in school history. My son is one of the senior captains. Several football players on our team are more basketball players than football players, and basketball is their chosen sport. They are great athletics, valuable to our football team, and have contributed enormously to our winning season. Basketball practice has already started at our school. Our son is sensing an unrest or an uneasiness with these players wanting to get done with football to move on to basketball. That would hurt our chances for state. How does he lead his team and encourage these players who are itching to get on with basketball to hang in through the playoffs?

Dear Reader,

Wow. Great question! How cool is that, to line up in football for a chance to birth a state championship. Congratulations to your son, his team, and his high school on a winning season.

So, what we have here are a few sweet football fellas who have ants in their pants to quit football and hook up with basketball. Sounds like a girlfriend dumping the boyfriend to go with another guy. We call this fickle, bubble-headed, or wobbly. This is tough because if you can’t be all in, especially playing football, you really should be all out.

To be clear, I am a fan of basketball too. So please keep the hate mail to a minimum. Not putting basketball down a-tall. Just promoting sticking with what a body started, committed to, and staying consistent, is all. Some might call it being a man of your word. Others, reliable.

Your son may have to have one of them heart-to-heart talks with the basketball players. Either they want to make football history for the school … or they don’t. It really is that simple. What these boys need is fire in the belly, not fire ants in their pants.

I imagine coach is well aware of this tiny infraction and will do all he can to bring any breach to a successful close one way or the other. But your son and his teammates hold a lot of weight on the team. They may be the only ones who really know what buttons to push to help them fellas choose the higher calling. After all, one day this entire team will graduate, maybe graduate college, and get on with their lives. Do they really want to go down in history as quitters, when they can choose to be part of a team that broke school records? Surely not.

No doubt, a lot of hard work went into this team since last summer, last season, and possibly beyond that. Countless hours of workouts, practice, teamwork, and the coaches strategic game plans. Winning seasons don’t just happen. Do the basketballers really want to chunk it all now?

Honestly, I haven’t a clue on how to help, but your son with his crew will figure out how to spike the ball and stop the clock. What it comes to for them basketball boys, will they seize the day and take the challenge out front. Basketball isn’t dribbling away—it will still be there once football ends.

This possible high school state championship is but a moment in time, a once in a lifetime opportunity. He may remind them just how special and rare championship teams are. The chance of participating on any other sports-related championship team becomes a roll of the dice. It can come down to now or never.

Remember, what you do today will determine how well your tomorrow shines.

Dear Football Mom,

When your own team boos your son, how do you respond to that? My son is a good player. But in the region playoffs, minutes before the fourth quarter ended, he dropped the ball. Yes, fumbled it on the twelve-yard line. Then it was picked up by the other team, and they ran for a touchdown. Time was up. The game was over. We lost.

Dear Reader,

What I can tell you is this, the “boos” were probably for the other team picking it up and running all the way for a touchdown. This does happen, and the sting of it lasts for a while. The booing can even last for what seems like an eternity, and even our sons’ names or numbers are chanted out—and not in a good way. The mudslinging can get downright nasty.

Sometimes, like it or not, our sons may deserve it. Most football players at every level blows-it now and then. Heck, I’ve yelled at my own sons before and I’ve blown it myself a time or two. But I know, it tough sitting in the stands hearing the chatter. Still, it’s how we respond that helps us keep our cool.
Pluck the feathers out from under your skin—you are not a chicken. Football Moms … we have to grow some Teflon skin and wipe it off. Usually, some good ole fashion grit will do just fine for that.

Let’s Talk College Recruiters

How to Build a Bridge

When Christmas Brings Conflict

When the Going Gets Tough, Will You Get Going?

How to Be a True Leader—On and Off the Field

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