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Let’s Talk College Recruiters

March 28, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

We are fast approaching spring practice at our high school and the annual spring game. Our coach tells us there could be a few college scouts that may attend. Our son will be a junior. Please tell me some tips for getting him noticed and ultimately recruited to play college football. What should he do to stand out?

Dear Reader,

I’m afraid that “tips” are just like the catch phrase, “farm to table” which was simply somebody’s quirky cliché for advertising purposes. Hasn’t all our food at some point comes from some farm, somewhere? It may have been processed to death, but by golly, it started out on a farm. “Tips” rings the same way. Magazines needed banner topics for different subjects so—presto—we have the word “tips.” Not trying to be a sassy-frass, but in football, there is no such thing as tips, unless that is, the ball got tipped on a field goal attempt. What I try to do is share information, pointers, and suggestions. I just really don’t have any tips, but I get what you mean, so let’s see if I can answer your question this way.

Every position in the game of football is different, and one size doesn’t fit all. That said there are some all-purpose pointers I’m happy to share. For the most part, there’s no magic formula, short cut, or equation to getting our sons noticed by college recruiters. The following includes a few suggestions for those guys of fall—well in this case, spring. It is up to your son however, to execute with as much excellence as he can muster.

Honestly, first and foremost, he’s got to play his heart out for his team. Period. Practice like he plays in a game. Stay diligent.

Be coachable. Attitude goes a long way. If he works hard and listens to his coach, that will pay dividends at the end of the day. Remember, his coach has relationships with college recruiters, college recruiters talk to high school coaches, and his coach will share with these cats information not only about his talent, but also on his coachability.

Be the guy who loves to compete. Leading his team to winning seasons is a plus. Like it or not, recruiters tend to show up more frequently at winning teams. It may not sound fair, but for college recruiters, time is money. They don’t have time to drive all over kingdom come for a “maybe” on losing teams. Coaches know teams that win, have at least a couple of competitors embedded within their team. College coaches always look for competitors.

Keep his nose clean. You can take that figuratively and literally. The last thing coaches need on campus are new recruits who have to be baby-sat. You might possess all the talent, break records right and left, but if you are a troublemaker—trust me, they will pass. You might qualify for D-IAA or D-II, but if you are a rebel-rouser, your chances for D-IA just left the stadium. College coaches don’t have time to waste on fools and scallywags.

Keep your grades up. Coaches are just as interested in your GPA as they are your time in the 40. I suggest taking the SAT or ACT in your sophomore or junior year. That way you can enjoy your senior year more and focus on your team (provided you met the college requirement scores). I would not waste money on the PSATs because they don’t count anyway. Nowadays, you can find several tutorials online that help students get up to speed and practice for these tests.

Naturally, the obvious—work out till the cows come home. Work hard to improve in everything, every aspect, every area. Increase your time in the 40 (yes even you offensive linemen). Get with your position coach and ask him some suggestions on what you can improve on. There is no such thing as not improving. You can always improve in something. Who says you can’t practice position reps at home?

To really stand out, leadership is key. Unselfish leadership is The Holy Grail. Getting teammates pumped up for games and practice, or helping other players with his position or stance or hundreds of other acts of unselfish leadership will put him ahead of any competition. He can’t be a casual bystander. He has to lead intentionally.

Hope this helped and that your son finds himself one day with several D-IA offers, which involves a whole other set of suggestions. Best wishes and shine-on.

Footnote: This is my last column until after July 4th. In the meantime, y’all have some awesome spring practices and keep the questions and comments coming … Candy@CandyAWestbrook.com please put “football question” in subject line. I promise to answer all in a few short months and as always, keep them confidential. Gooooo Football Moms!!!

How to Build a Bridge

February 26, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

I’m a coach’s wife at a small college and gossip, good or bad, travels quickly throughout our campus. In our close-knit community, rumor had it that my husband was getting fired at the end of this past season. He’s the head football coach. He has NOT been fired, at least not at this time. The rumors of him getting fired, however, soured the attitude of his staff, assistant coaches, and just about everyone associated with our program. A few assistants have already jumped ship. It is making recruiting extra hard. Is there anything I can do as his wife to help stop the bleeding?

Dear Reader,

Whoa. Thank you for reading our column and trusting me with this very sensitive situation. I’ve been asked some tough questions before, but this kind of goes beyond the stadium uprights. I’m not in the habit of telling wives of coaches, or for that matter, coaches what to do—unless that is, I’m in the stands at a game yelling mercilessly—as if I think I know something they don’t.

In this case, though, cheeky chatter put y’all in a pickle, all right. Hopefully, together we can unscrew the lid and share some ideas before they all go rancid. Remember this right-here, what I’m about to share, is no tried and true recipe.

I suppose your husband had a sit-down-fireside chat with your AD (athletic director) and/or the chancellor/president of the college. If not, I suggest he line up a meeting with these cats soon. Making sure everyone is executing the same game plan to stop the wagging tongues and false fabrications should be the first course of action. That’d be my number one priority, anyhow.

The second suggestion may be to initiate an all-out gathering of the troops: assistant coaches, equipment guys, trainers, support staff, administrators, professors, janitors, or any other college personnel that could have added to, or been privy to, the cock-and-bull stories. Here is where you come in.

I would think about inviting all these folks regardless of position, if they work at the college, invite them. Host a sort of Spring Soiree at your home before the spring scrimmage game. Wouldn’t that extinguish any embers floating and stop the innuendos hovering over your program? By bringing the staff, together and breaking bread, especially a home dinner, should establish some much-needed camaraderie.

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” –Abraham Lincoln. That means college football teams, too. Hosting the party on your turf, at your home, will set the stage of good faith effort on your part, and perhaps nudge the program forward with newly forged friendships. It’s hard to talk about somebody behind their back while eating their food.

No program can put together a winning team when naysayers and negative attitudes are feasibly the first folks parents see once visiting campus. When recruits come to the university, it’s in everyone’s interest to host these players and their families like they were royalty, regardless of how staff’s feels about their coach. Take that or not. A unified front and solidarity at the center of your program puts it ahead of others vying for talented players. Also, all staff should reek of graciousness, even those colleges above the Mason Dixon Line, or West of the Mississippi.

Third, when recruits do come on campus, I suggest being honest and upfront. “Hey, we’ve got things that need to get straightened out here, and we’re working hard on that. We need YOU to help us.” Being honest is always best. You may be surprised how that works to your advantage. I’ve never seen a competitive player yet who didn’t love a challenge.

Of course winning, next season won’t hurt either.

Dear Football Mom,

Our high school booster club is running short of money and parents’ participation. We’ve had some losing seasons the last few years, and no one is very motivated to help. I’m the president of our club and wanted to push for a fundraiser for our spring practice game. Only a handful of parents signed up to help. What should I do?

Dear Reader,

You start with the handful. Thank your lucky stars for the handful. Do what you can with what you’ve got. Maybe it won’t be the big-banger-moneymaker you envisioned, but fall will be here before you know it, and you’ll need help then too. Groom the ones who do get involved to accept more responsibility come game season.

Whatever you do, don’t let them see you sweat. Change your attitude, and be positive even if it kills you. Smile and have fun. Ignore the ones who don’t help or won’t help, and when they see y’all having fun; they’ll know they are missing out on something special. Maybe then, you’ll have more parents who’ll want a piece of the action.

Be creative. Instead of a “sign-up” sheet, make it a “Parents/Grandparents Participation Sheet.” Maybe offer free window decals for parents who work concession stand. You get the idea. Make it a privilege for parents to participate in their son’s booster club. After all, it is a privilege.

Attitude is everything. It’s like I told a preacher once long ago when he complained in the pulpit about the ones who weren’t there. After service I said, “Hey man, preach to the ones who “are” here, and forget about the ones who “aren’t.” What do you think we are? Chopped liver?”

Yup, the Refs Made A Bad Call.

February 12, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Like your opinion about the New Orleans Saints robbed of playing in Super Bowl 2019. I’m a Saints fan, season ticket holder, and I’m mad as $#%% over the missed call! Suing the refs, NFL, or Roger Goodell is too good for them. They should lose their jobs, every one of them, never to step foot on an NFL field or be associated with pro teams again. Enough stupidity already.

Dear Reader,

Had one of my guys been on the Saints team, I would be answering this note from behind jail bars. Oh, trust me—I’m almost sure of it. But since they weren’t on the team, my new black isn’t orange. I’m wondering though, if we can blow off steam without swatting somebody upside the head, or landing in the jailhouse for being brainless.

I get it, I do. Not too sure, you really want to know my opinion. In truth, you really don’t. But since you asked, remember this: opinions are like a duck’s derrière … everyone has one.

It’s not like the refs don’t bring home some serious bacon. Most folks would be tickled pink as a pig for the high, six-figure, annual income these dudes make for half a year’s work. Not that they don’t deserve it; I’m almost sure they do.

In one sense, they are the most hated guys in America for doing their jobs—sort of like President Trump. In another sense, they are (after all) human, and just as none of us do a perfect job every day in our profession, they make mistakes. The problem isn’t necessarily the refs. It’s the replay rulings.

Of course, our powderpuff friend, Roger Dodger is used to ducking controversy. Just a few months back, the taking-a-knee thang resulted in most of us boycotting the games and lowered the NFL-ers paycheck, not a word from him until he saw his bottom line shrinking. I’m still not watching too much NFL. Poor ole Roger, just can’t get ahead of any hullabaloo storm brewing before it blows up in his face. You’d think he’d learn a thing or two by now.

Football is an emotional game, and anybody says different is a nincompoop. But emotion doesn’t win games as much as I would like to think it can. Neither does suing anyone. It should just never come down to one play, one mistake, one goof-up.

So, the remaining time on the clock was 1:45 at the time of the screw-up. Score tied at 20, third down, Saints in possession of ball. Yes, I agree, had the penalty been called, the Saints would have been given a new set of downs and a chance, notice “a chance” to run the clock down before attempting a short field goal, or even a touchdown. Game over. Saints win.

Maybe the ball would have gone through the uprights—maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe it would have been blocked, or maybe it could have been intercepted. The should-a, could-a, would-a game plan was the call here. It just shouldn’t come down to a missed penalty call, especially in the NFL. They are, after all, pros … told ya … you didn’t want my opinion.

The debate over bad calls for refs, or “favoring” one team over another is nothing new. How many college, high school, middle school, or even Pee Wee games have been wiggled out of winning due to missed calls or wrong calls by the refs? We’ve all seen it. It happens.

Thing is—pass interference is not a reviewable play in the NFL. Neither is holding calls on Offense or Defense. This debate will live on until the rules change. No suing needed.

By the time, you see our column in print; Super Bowl LII will be in the history books to be chewed over like a dog’s bone. If you really want to argue, advocate to get the reviewable NFL rules changed and start lobbying to do just that. Now is your chance.

Let’s talk ch-cha-changes: New Recruiting Rules

January 10, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

What do you think of the new early signing day in December? We are more confused than ever, and I’m about over this college football recruiting stuff. The coaches that called our son and established a relationship with him have now, all been fired. Where does that leave our son? What a racket college football recruiting is!

Dear Reader,

Sorry, can’t help but chuckle a spell while reading your question. You purdy much nailed it. It can be a racket for sure. But, let’s not lose heart. It can also be some of the best times your son will experience.

Recruiting used to favor the programs and put players at the disadvantage. Coaches had the hammerlock on players, and heck-fire, that’s just the way recruiting business was done. Coaches had a lot more control, as if they needed any more leverage. Now, most of that leverage went poof.

You will rarely find me sticking up for any college coaches, but these new recruiting rules …. bless their hearts, I’m not too sure the coaches know which end is up. I certainly don’t, but let’s figure that maybe I do to a degree. Let’s look at it from the coach’s view.

Those rulings might call for desperate measures by the coaches, but they are experts at getting around things. Today though might be different. Some find the right beehive (high school or state), then poke their hands in the hive rooting for prime honey (premiere players), and are getting stung to smithereens. Poor guys. Truly, the December early signing day I believe, is now to the advantage of the players. There is always February 6, 2019. Y’all should be happy as a pig in sunshine. The choices for players just became bigger.

College coaches are the ones caught cattywampus, with little control over fielding their teams these days. They have to do the Watusi just to put together winning teams as much as possible. Their livelihoods depend on teenagers decisions as to what college he’ll sign with, and that can be downright degrading to a grown man. After all, college coaches everywhere scramble to put together teams that have at least a chance to bring home a conference title. It is getting harder and harder for coaches with the new rulings. The few teams who win most of the time, lap up most of the superior talent. What player doesn’t want to sign with winning teams?

Then too, some coaches don’t know if X-player will cut his college career short and shoot for the NFL or not. Now, I will say this—if they don’t know the plans of their potential NFL-ers, then that’s kinda on them. They should have relationships tight enough to know what their players intentions are by now. At least the position coaches should have a clue.

The other issues for coaches are the transfer deals. This is what I call, “the musical chair ruling” which also makes it harder on coaches. Players being allowed to leave once on board with a program and then able to transfer without the penalty of sitting out a year, all favors the players and their families. Who’s gonna stay, who’s gonna go to a different program next year. So much for loyality. Then, you’ve got the 85/25 rule. Coaches can only sign so many players per year for their programs. Then, on top of everything else, coaches can be fired in a flash, leaving the next crew to pick up the ball.

Yes, you are absolutely right, college football is a racket, a business, a risk for everyone. But, I tell you this, there is no other thrill like seeing your son take the field and kicking tooshie. Of course, his team winning—well that’s all the sweeter.

When Christmas Brings Conflict

December 17, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Why is my son so bent on working out during Christmas break instead of going to Colorado with his family skiing? Granted, he’ll be a senior next year and is working hard for a college football scholarship, but enough already. He wants to stay with his buddy’s family, as his friend’s dad owns several fitness centers, and they can work out together over the break. I’m a little upset with his buddy’s parents too, because I think they should have encouraged our son to go with us instead of offering for him to stay with them.

What say you?

Dear Reader,

This is a new one on me. What kid gives up Colorado skiing for working out?

Y’all do know my hair frizzes straight up each time I receive one of these read-between-the-lines psychological questions, sure enough, as if I stuck a finger in a Christmas light bulb socket with it turned on. I can see ol’ Clark Griswold, now. Y’all know I don’t claim to be that bright, but we’ll giver ’er a try.

My first thought actually has nothing to do with working out. Yes, you are right. For high schoolers, unless they are in a late state playoff after Christmas, they should be able to take a few days off during the holidays. Notice I said days, not weeks.

I suppose something could be brewing behind that snowman … and it’s not hot chocolate. It usually comes down to a girl in the mix somewhere. Then again, maybe he is just that serious about working toward a scholarship and has a valid fear of getting hurt on the slopes. Maybe your son is wise beyond his years. Injuries can spoil chances of saddling-up with scholarship offers, not to mention they hurt like the dickens.
If this is a new tradition for your family, my guess is he just doesn’t want change at Christmastime. Or—and this is a big OR—that purty little gal is pulling on his heartstrings to stay behind. He could be torn between spending time with her, or traveling with his family and then feeling like the Grinch. Oh, the G-force those gals have on our sons’ when their heads turn and their hearts go pitter-patter over a girl. Why, it’s downright frightening for mamas. Since his senior year is around the corner and time is short, he could be thinking he’d better take advantage of the time they have—if he’s even thinking that far in advance. Lots of maybe’s here, but like I said … reading between the lines.

The other thing that comes to mind and it chills me like icicles to be this honest, but maybe your son enjoys his friend’s family for various reasons instead of spending spare time with his own family. Does it feel like sand paper rubbing friction when all of you are together? Do you and you husband argue? Is chaos lurking behind every family gathering? Do tempers fly? Is alcohol a problem with adults? I know these are very personal questions. Please keep in mind I don’t want to know the answers. The questions are only there for you to mull over and consider, is all.

And by the way, there are no Norman Rockwell families out there. Even if you think his buddy’s family has it together, I tend to doubt its peaches and cream all the time. Put another log on that picture-perfect fire please, and hang those stocking with care.

Have an old fashion heart-to-heart talk with your son. Be honest with him. Tell him this stung a smidge and pricked your heart. If you are honest with him, I’m almost sure he’ll be honest with you. I believe your family just might huddle closer once your hearts open and y’all clear the air. Keep your cool no matter what he says. Give him the opportunity to share his feelings without jumping into soot from the fireplace.

Remember in the end, you are the parent—he is still the child. And too, since you are the parent, it’s a good idea for him to listen to you and do what you ask. In all seriousness, he has to obey your wishes, regardless of how he feels.

Christmas Day will come no matter how you celebrate it. Just make sure your son knows how much you love him, no matter where he spends the day.

Dear Football Mom,

Is cheerleading a sport? I know you usually answer football questions, but thought I’d try to get your input here. My daughter is going to cheer next year for football at a Division-I college, and yet they don’t offer scholarships for cheerleaders. Something is wrong with that.

Dear Reader,

I have to agree. College cheerleaders should be awarded full scholarships, period.

Depending on the school, some do give monies for room and board, books, or compensate the difference for out-of-state tuition. But generally, not all of the tuition. Not all of it, at all. Usually one or two expenses and that’s it. Partial scholarships do exist, as well as other scholarships such as academic and the like. They all apply. But a full-fledged cheerleader scholarship, like football scholarships have yet to be common practice, though it should be.

Cheerleaders matter. They matter a lot. Truthfully, I’d like to see a team win without them.

When football players try to get a crowd pumped up during a game, it’s a sign of weakness and desperation. I actually want to whup-upside the head some football-playing boys when I see them fellers turn into cheerleaders on the field. Good golly, guys, keep your heads in the game, Buck-a-roos. The cheers will come when you play tough and nail your assignments. Let the cheerleaders do their job and you do yours!
Cheerleaders matter. Yes, they flat-out matter. Is cheerleading a sport? It should be.

Let’s Talk College Recruiters

How to Build a Bridge

Yup, the Refs Made A Bad Call.

Let’s talk ch-cha-changes: New Recruiting Rules

When Christmas Brings Conflict

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