Candy A. Westbrook

Candy A. Westbrook - Author, Columnist, Speaker, Football Mom

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus … who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJ).
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Kicking Off the New Year

January 7, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son already made his commitment to a division one college, but I am wondering if he should renege and back out of that verbal agreement to instead, accept an offer from a college in the state of California. Maybe he can earn some money since they’ve passed the pay to play. A school from that state made him an offer earlier in the year. Do you think he should reconnect with them and tell them he’d like to take them up on their scholarship offer? It would mean we’d have to travel a distance to see his home games, but maybe it’s worth it for him to gain a little money and add to his savings.

Dear Reader,

And this right here, is the very reason I am against the “pay to play” ruling. Of course, Florida is looking to pass this law soon too. It’s so wrong on so many levels. I am usually not quite that blunt (well, then again, maybe I am), but boy howdy, this deal, the pay to play, is like a grasshopper jumping under your blue-jeans with no way to scoot the varmint out without showing a body’s backside!

I hope like heck most of y’all haven’t thought a double-minded, Mickey-Mouse, willy-nilly maneuvering technique to your children in how they handle business dealings, regardless if they play a sport or not. No offense to Mickey Mouse—my littles and some of the older grands adore him and Minnie. But come on.

The first thing you should be aware of as a parent is to never weasel out of your word. If your son gave his word to the other college, then by cracky, he should stick to it and keep it. Period. At least barring anything catastrophic like a coaching change, that is. The second thing you should be aware of about this pay to play in California is that the ruling has not yet gone into action. Your son may graduate before it does. 

Quite frankly, I’m hoping the NCAA will find a way to pull it back. Do you understand that even if it was in play, your son may never get some huge endorsement from a commercial company? He may never reap the so-called benefit of suiting-up at some college where the pay to play is actually at play.

And for the record, he is earning money! He’s receiving a free education. He will graduate without college debt, and that is huge. Hopefully, that is his main goal, to walk away with a degree in hand. Meals, books, lodging, tuition, even tutoring is free for the student athlete. He’s already ahead of the game that most college students face. Good heavens, what more could you ask for.   


Dear Football Mom,

I don’t understand the rankings of college football. Why are some teams ranked in the top five while others with the same record are ranked lower? For example, why is Clemson ranked three when they are just as undefeated as Ohio State or LSU? What gives?

Dear Reader,

Great question! That would take an act of congress for me to splain it all and quite honestly, I’m not sure I’d be on point with the correct answer. But you got me on this one, and I can’t resist a challenge, so reckon I’m gonna take a stab at it.

There is a little committee that thrives on “guesses” and “misses” made up of head football coaches—yeah, like they can be fair and unbiased. Sure, they are. Along with other experts like media geniuses and then, perhaps there are the PhDs of Popular Football Mechanics who make up this board of pals. Giving it their best shot, they submit a list each week ignoring TV contracts and stockholders, or deep-pocketed influential boosters, past traditions, and popular opinions of social status stars to vote on rankings. (My sass is showing through.)

Supposedly, the rankings are based on who said team Tee’s up to play, how much they ran up the score, and how tough the team was that got the shocking splattering. That’s the short version anyhow.

Cheer up my fair football fans, no head coach on the planet cares a gnat’s behind about these rankings. Or gives any weight to the top 25 in front of their players, fans, and boosters. It’s psychological, messing with players’ and coaches’ heads and scheming to get programs to question their viability, causing useless dustups between conferences. Most coaches pay no mind and discount the rankings, especially if they aren’t on the list. It’s also political in football terms and a sore spot with athletic directors. The rub here is that most sportscasters make fun and joke about how off the mark these rankings are. And they usually are. Way off the mark. Clemson is a great example of that. They have earned the right to at least a number two spot.

This team of scallywags can never predict the heart of a team. Or the strength and power of the will to win. They are there to take up newspaper print, make some poor old coach about to retire feel important, gain favor with sportscasters so they’ll talk highly about their program, and give lip service to TV contracts.   

Take heart my football fans—it’s just useless noise.

Filed Under: college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, Pay to Play, senior year, sons, Wisdom

Beyond the Lights: Questions following the Tamron Hall Show

November 8, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

We saw you on the Tamron Hall Show talking about the pay to play passing in California for college athletes and we have two questions: What were you talking about with the “worms” being “slippery little devils,” and what did you mean about playing for the love of the game? Our son is a junior in high school playing football, and college recruiters are showing interest. What is wrong with football players or any student athlete getting paid?

Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for watching and for these fantastic follow up questions, bringing more attention to this ruling. The devil, as the cliché goes, is in the details. My game plan options and opinions went kapowee. The clock ran out in that segment before I had a chance to throw the ball. Not promising a touchdown, but …

The worm reference has gotten a lot of buzz. Hopefully, this will bring a pinch of clarity for everyone reading our column. Then again, sometimes I’m clear as mud.

It was my way of explaining, in a saucy comedic way, the fact that this law is not yet in play, and there is still time to reverse such a reckless ruling. After it’s implemented, it will be harder to put a cap on the can of worms as they bury themselves in the ground or scoot off into oblivion. They are slippery little devils and hard to catch wiggling everywhere like they’d just got bit by red aunts. I reckon this law will be harder to pull back once it goes into effect. Hence the worm analogy. It’s easier to keep the lid on the can of worms instead of frantically running after them, chasing them back into the can when they’ve got a good head start.

This little ruling will only wreak havoc later down the road and create that hotdog mentality. It will allow commercial companies to seek endorsements for their products, paying players for their John Henry (signatures), and that’s code for some players to bring attention to themselves so the spotlight shines on them, giving the products, they represent free publicity. The ruse of the players, encouraged by the commercial companies, to hotdog brings in more money and profit when showing out on televised games. This translates to bulging bank accounts for those few players. Duhh. No team about it at all.

The effect will be mind-blowing all right. Decision makers such as chancellors, deans, or presidents of universities could bury their heads, I suppose, for kickbacks (see how money makes everybody involved gamble and goofy). Then try finding an authentic athletic director, one who isn’t willing to turn a blind eye receiving payment from sports companies for, let’s say, unrestrained access to their athletes. Or head coaches or assistants. Or for that matter, recruiting players whose heart’s desire is pure and plays for the love the game.

As if recruiting isn’t hard enough, now players are going on the chopping block to the highest bidder. No longer will recruiters find players who feel it a privilege to receive a scholarship offer. They’ll want that fat paycheck to boot. Prep players may demand to be hooked up with companies for endorsements, or wage bets on how much said college program will dole out for a player’s percentage of jersey sales. I suppose too, talent level will drop.     

You might as well go ahead and throw the word “team” in the trash. It will no longer be the game we all cheer and root for. Talk about a scam… have mercy! This makes recruiting cheating scandals look like child’s play in a sand box.

Now, I will share the fact that yes, there is a need for pocket change so players can buy toothpaste and shaving cream. If the programs themselves paid players a small amount of cash per week or whatever, then fine. Have you ever seen the “adult” pro players—who do get paid enormous bucks—handle money wisely? It’s rare, so how the heck do you think kids will handle it? It’s sure to be the best booze bonus going. Just what college coaches need, more watchful oversights. Those poor ol boys won’t know if they’re coming, or going, or already been there!

And by the way, the players are getting paid. They are receiving a free … that is FREE … education, study hall assistance, free tutors at their disposal, free books, free meals, free lodging, and even free medical care. Besides all of that, those who really need financial assistance can apply for something called pale grants. Also FREE money.

This is college football, not pro football. Graduate, get a job, form a career, create your own wealth with your free education. Honestly, don’t y’all think that should be the ultimate goal for any student athlete? Graduate college.

Filed Under: braggin' rights, college football recruiting, college recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, Pay to Play, teamwork

From California with Love

October 22, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son is a senior in a California high school. I found you under a Google search, Football Mom, and saw your website and column. Very interesting and really like the content. I have a question: Said son is a quarterback and is being recruited from several colleges on the East coast. He has always wanted to play for our #### University here, and they have offered him a scholarship. However, to be blunt, our state is in bad shape. My husband and I are both from here. Our families are here. We reared our two children here. But because of many horrible politicians making bad choices for us, we are looking to leave a state we once loved dearly. Are we wrong for encouraging our son to choose an East coast college so we can go ahead and move without feeling guilty of leaving family? He is open to it, but that wasn’t his childhood dream. I’m asking for your honest opinion.

Dear Reader,

I can only share honest opinions … it’s very humid here! That’s something you don’t have to put up with in CA.

All kidding aside, that is some loaded question. I reckon as long as we’re being blunt, you’re right: your state was one of the most gorgeous states in the union, until …

As far as I know, you can still leave any state whenever you want, including CA. But I see where you’re going with this. If your son chooses a college in California, y’all want to stay and see him play. If he chooses a college on the East coast, you want to move sooner than later so y’all can watch him play. How blessed you are to have choices like that. Most folks and parents of athletes’ don’t have nearly the luxury.

My first suggestion: make sure your son chooses the college he wants to attend. Provided he indeed has choices, allow him to figure it out. Give him some space. If he happens to choose a California college, be sure to swallow a big gulp of itching to move and support his decision. After all, your family can move East later or now, depending on your financial means to travel for his collegiate games, if you choose to watch him play. 

Second suggestion: make sure he is wanted wherever that may be. For instance, you stated he’d already been offered a few scholarships in CA. Is the same true of an East college program as well, or are they still on the flattering front? Before y’all go rooting up your entire household and haul everyone East, make sure your son has a solid offer from that East coast college, i.e. an offer in writing. Things can get mighty squirrely just days before signing day. Gather your nuts … in other words, all the information you can before he makes his final decision.

Third suggestion: chill out. Things have a way of coming together the way they are supposed to. And if y’all happen to come East, bring lots of hair spray and gnat repellant!


Dear Readers,

Ironically, just a few weeks after I received the above question, I was contacted by ABC-Disney’s Tameron Hall Show to discuss the passing of the recent law “pay to play” in California. The two are really not connected, but I thought it was right serendipitous for me to focus on CA answering this question, and the law just past in the state for the last few weeks.

Quite an honor and very humbling that the producers of the show found me through my website, www.CandyAWestbrook.com. After several conversations with several producers, they flew me to New York City as a guest of the show to discuss the pros and cons this law will generate. Just so we are very clear here, I oppose this law, vehemently.

What happened to playing for the love of the game? And we wonder why the NCAA is a necessary evil. Now its role will be even bigger. There is no “fair” in football. Trust me, there really isn’t.

But let’s say for the sake of argument it could be fair. The pay to play wouldn’t create a hotdog effect on any players. Sure, I have land in the Okefenokee Swamp for sale that’s sure to go commercial and perfect for condos too. This law won’t go into effect for a few years. There is still time to get the worms back in the can!

The problem isn’t the pay out, the problem is the way it will be doled out. So, give the players a weekly stipend from the college program. Make it the same for every student athlete across the board, all sports, and for big schools, little schools. But that’s not what is happening. Individual athletes can get endorsement deals from sports companies and get paid zillions in college if this bill is enforced. That is not good. No way no how is it good for any “team.”

Stayed tuned. Questions are coming in about this law. It won’t be purty, but it will be brutally honest from this football mom. Count on it.      

Filed Under: college football recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, high school football, Pay to Play, politics, senior year, sons

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall.

Helmet Kisses – The Heart Behind The Gridiron

Candy is working hard on her football memoir, Helmet Kisses. Make sure to watch for news and sign up for Candy’s newsletter so you never miss an update!

Helmet Kisses - The Heart Behind The Gridiron

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall. College football recruiting can leave parents dangling on a zipline indefinitely and need someone on the other side who gets it. She inspires parents to go the distance because, “the topic may be football, but the real subject is life.”

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