Candy A. Westbrook

Candy A. Westbrook - Author, Columnist, Speaker, Football Mom

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus … who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJ).
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Where’s the Loyalty?

March 11, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Most of our families, including extended family, are LSU fans. Not all of them are in our newspaper’s reading area, but I gave them your website so they could read the recent column you wrote about the feud between next-door neighbors LSU and Clemson fans. You can’t control what some fans do, or their nasty antics. The rant about the eggs thrown was justifiable. I am, however, so proud of our LSU Tigers!

LSU was the clear winner and reigning National Champions. But we are upset with all the coaches leaving LSU right after the win. Who are really the winners? Yes, we hold the title, but when most coaches leave instantly after a winning season, come on. Begs the question, wouldn’t those coaches likely had to have been making those deals before the game? To us, that is disgusting. What say you?

Dear Reader,

Oh, my sweet Purple Tiger Fan. Where have you been all my life? I agree it is disgusting!

That dirty little back room has cleaned the clocks of many football programs, their fans, boosters, and alum. LSU is, sadly, no different from many other universities that get peppered for a spell. Where is that Louisiana Hot Sauce when you need it …

These dudes, the coaches, scream loyalty with gobs of powdered sugar piled high on their beignets when it comes to making those deals. They most certainly want those sweet loyalty clauses in their contracts, which really don’t exist. What does exist is the green and purple King Cake called paperbacks. Most contracts protect the universities from going into bankruptcy. The baby’s in the buyout portion. These are safety nets included in the contracts. In other words, if an athletic director from another program steals say, a head coach from a winning program, the AD agrees to buy out the contract of the coach he wishes to hire. Forget Mardi Gras and take the mask off. It’s musical chairs, plain and simple. Programs have paid millions in fees just to hire the new eye candy they think is the answer to their woes. Too often, that sugar high melts like butter and turns into gooey jambalaya. The program paid millions for nothing.

But LSU didn’t just lose some coaches, they lost key players too. Tremendous players. Now that’s what I call a mushy mess! The poor ole fellers who are left will have to start from scratch to make their red beans and rice. But, your Coach O is like a roux to the gumbo and he’s recruited some awesome players. He is one of the best in the business and he’ll flavor that pot with just the right ingredients. He’s born and bred Louisianan and he’s not going anywhere except back to business in Tiger Stadium.    

I dare say some of those players who did leave for the NFL will never make it in the NFL for various reasons. Not trying to be Negative Nelly here, just can’t help but call the cups of sugar as I’ve seen them for a few years. What you think might be a good deal turns out not such a great deal after all. Just like a double hot-fudge Sunday, it looks good … taste good … but come Monday morning stepping on the scales, and they tilt forward. Ouch.

This kind of stuff happens every year to programs across the country. It’s not very nice. And back to the loyalty thing … it hurts. But remember when y’all LSU folks thought you’d never recover from the loss of a guy named Nick Sabin who threw off he’s beads for the NFL?

Filed Under: championship teams, Clemson Tigars, college coaches, college football recruiting, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, leadership, LSU, NFL, pro football, quitting, resignation, scandal

When the Road Gets Rough: Tough Love for Some Football Parents

December 12, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

So, our son got caught smoking pot behind the gym at school two weeks ago. He and his buddies (not football players) have been expelled and put on probation by the juvenile court judge in our county. I have mixed emotions, from heartbreak to raging mad, at this system of so-called, justice! He is only 17 and he’s one of the stars on the football team going into state championship playoffs. Coach kicked him off the team, and now he won’t be able to play in any championship games. It’s his senior year and could be the last time he ever gets to play. We’ve pleaded with the coach until we’re blue in the face. We paid the fine, we took the punishment, he’s doing community service, but what about second chances? What can we do?

Dear Reader,

Sounds to me like not a dad-blame thing. The shoulda coulda woulda act is in play here. As his parents, what do you think y’all should have, or could have, or would have done before this behavior became the nightmare before playoffs? Maybe cracking down on your son once you saw him wiggling out of accountability. I suspect he and his merry men have done this pot smoking before. I love your comment, “… mad at the system.” What about being mad at the reason for the season failure—your son? 

I’m sorry, but your son as a senior, shoulda been a leader and known better than to try such a stunt on school property—or anybody’s property as far as that goes. That is, after all, where the guilt should lie. Not at the system, not at the coach, not at the peddler who sold him the pot … And who does that leave? Your son.

As his parents, this kind of behavior starts at home with what is accepted and what is not. It’s up to parents to make that crystal clear. More importantly, set boundaries and standards, and actually model them yourselves. He had to have some gull bring drugs to school, much less using them to boot. Maybe Santa Clauses boot should meet someone’s backside.

Look, no parent wants something like this to happen, just like no one is perfect, including parents. But the bottom line here is holding your son liable, not trying to weasel out of the consequences of his actions for him.

It’s a tough world out there. This could be a lesson for your entire family and save this young man’s life in the future. Better to learn that there are aftereffects to stupid choices now than being called to a morgue to identify your son’s body—due to an accident getting high off weed and swerving head on into a telephone pole. Parents are called every day to do such a horrid thing. Very sad, especially because it could be avoided.

By the way, he’s got a second chance. A second chance at turning this situation into something positive. He could volunteer at a homeless shelter next summer or on Saturdays. He’d soon find out how drugs affected many in this population and whether he’d like to follow in their footsteps.

I hope he humbles himself and admits the wrong of his actions. I hope he supports his team. I hope he attends every game between now and any playoffs. I hope his parents lead him to make good choices. How y’all handle this moving forward will speak volumes to his success in life.


Dear Football Mom,

I’m writing you from my son’s hospital room. Last Saturday while playing in the game, he suffered a concussion, broken arm, and dislocated shoulder in a weird tackle. He underwent surgery Monday to repair the broken arm, and shoulder. Now they found his rotator cuff compromised by a tear as well. One of his knees has a contusion. He is recovering nicely and expected to be 100 percent by spring. He is only a sophomore in college and was red-shirted. This was his first year playing. His biggest disappointment is not being able to play the rest of the season because his team is headed to win their conference championship. 

How do I encourage him to continue football when I hated the game to begin with? I’ve never been a fan of football. Of course, my husband on the other hand … let’s just say he thrives on it. Now, it’s all I can do to muster the energy to hold my tongue when all I want to do is scream bloody murder at my husband. I want my son to continue college without playing football. We are a divided household, what is your best advice?

Dear Reader,

My heart goes out to you and your family, and I can only say I understand more than you may imagine. But know this—he is so blessed to have a mom by his bedside and a dad who is involved in his life.

My own son broke his leg in a game some years back. Surgery was scheduled immediately to insert a titanium rod to increase healing time. During his recovery in the hospital I found there were a few other players admitted for various reasons on the same floor. I went to visit them and found no parent or family member anywhere. And not only that … their hospital rooms were hollow. Not one balloon, card, goody bag, or anything else to cheer them up. I went directly back to my son’s room and looked around. There was such an outpouring of love lavished on this Buddy-Row it was downright embarrassing. He even had professors come to see him. Now, I will tell you the truth, my boy was not a book student. Not ever. Yet there they were, one after another visiting that guy and bringing goody bags. Whatever impression he made on them, it didn’t reflect on his grades!

I gathered-up a few balloon bouquets, goody bags, and anything else I thought the fellas down the hall might like and took it to those players who had nothing. You see, your son is blessed to have parents who give a hoot, even if you are hooting two different horns.

It’s too early to squabble over any choice your family may make—play ball, not play ball. Just get him well. Stay on top of doctor appointments. Make sure he takes his meds and eats well to get healthy. Keep the trainer’s phone number handy, and double check to make sure he has yours at the touch of a button. Load the dorm fridge with fruits and veggies that are easy to snack on.

My best advice right now is to present a united front. When it comes down to it, I hate to tell you, Mom, it really will be his choice to play or not.

Filed Under: disciplined, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, hope, leadership, quitting, scandal, sons, Wisdom

Raise ‘Em Up Right

September 10, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

What happens when your son received a Division IA full-ride scholarship to play football in college and actually played last year as a true freshman? I just found out he was cut from the team for this upcoming year. This doesn’t make sense.

Dear Reader,

Without knowing more, it’s tough to say. This sounds like there’s one black-eyed pea got lost in a pot of collard greens! I bet Junior isn’t tellin’ the whole story.

I might guess there is more going on than what you’ve been told. Or, what you are telling me. I assume you talked to the head coach and your son’s position coach. If not, do so. Is your son home or still on campus?

Usually, a four-year scholarship with a D-IA program would be honored, even if the player has been injured and could never play again for his university, or for whatever health issues cropped up, or for most any other reason he may have been cut from the team. Maybe he’s allergic to grass.

Coaches tend to keep a player on, if possible, and honor the scholarship, even though that cuts into their roster numbers. Meaning, college coaches can only keep so many on-paid scholarship per year. If the player is able, coach will work him in some capacity, like maybe helping the equipment guy, or keeping the weight room clean. That is, if the player is in good standing with the coaches. In other words, if the student athlete didn’t blow it with drugs, drunken conduct, or rape allegations—just to name a few issues that would get him kicked off his team and campus, pronto.

If the program sent your son packing, and the coaches are pulling his scholarship, that is a bad sign. Something happened, and it’s not good. This is one reason why I try so hard to encourage parents to set boundaries now while the kid is still home in high school, if not before. Say like, from the toddler stage. I’ve heard all kinds of stories and, honestly, they all could have been prevented if parents would just parent, and stop trying to play some sort of peer popularity contest with their kids. Parents should never put up with a bunch of goobly-goop excuses, and they should hold kids accountable while they still have time. Integrity counts, y’all.

This is what I’ve found to be true through the years. Not only do kids pattern what is lived out before them, but they will do purdy much what is expected of them. If you expect them to stay out all night drinking, drugging, smoking, that’s what they’ll do. If, on the other hand, you expect them to remember where they came from and behave themselves, they will pretty much do that as well. I’ve heard so many parents say, “Well they’re just being teenagers, and they’re going to get in some trouble.” Guess what, that may be true to an extent, but ya don’t need to let your kids know that it’s okay with you. Golly, don’t you want to hold your child to a higher stander than expecting him/her to get into trouble?

Parenting is a tough job—it’s not for sissies. It’s up to you to get to the bottom of the collard greens pot and fish out that black-eyed pea. Otherwise, you could be one of those parents whose son lives in your basement forty years from now. I’m just saying, if you have pulled strings in the past to get him out of trouble, you’ve already set a pattern, and he may think you can do the same now. It’s never too late to hold your child responsible for his/her actions. Although at this stage, it will be harder.

You are right. This doesn’t make sense.


Dear Football Mom,

I am trying hard to raise my four boys on my own. They all love the game of football. Actually, two of them may have the potential to play in college. That would be a wonderful blessing as I stress education over sports. Hoping all four go to college, graduate, and become successful regardless of my empty bank account. But receiving a scholarship to play football in college would be a big help.

What can I do to make sure the two who may have the ability, play in college with a scholarship?

Dear Reader,

The most you can do is make sure he/they are the ones who want to play in college. Keep open communication with your sons, stay grounded, and keep a positive attitude. The rest is window dressing.

By that I mean hopefully they’ve got a great work ethic. Get good grades. Work hard in the weight room and on the field. They respect their coaches, teachers, and you. They have proven results as unselfish team players. They eat well. Keep curfews. Stay out of trouble.

If you have followed me for long, you know I have a heart for single moms. Wow, that’s a lot of guy stuff flying around your house. I think I would lose any religion the good Lord gave me trying to keep up four boys much less making them toe the line. I’m kidding of course, because boys are huge blessings. But I can imagine how hard it has been doing things on your own in the guy’s world of football. I’ve been in your shoes.

Talk to your head coach. Yes, Mom, you can do it. Make sure he believes they’ve got the stuff to play beyond Friday nights. Ask him if he has a game plan, a strategy to help your boys during recruitment to play college ball, and what that might look like. Does he plan to make a highlight film? What, if anything, does he feel you could do to further or support those goals.

Most high school coaches like to help in this process. But remember, if you are feeling ignored, he’s got a job to do during this part of playing season, teeing up and preparing to play other teams. If your son will be a senior next year or so, you’ve got a little time. I suggest talking to coaches after Christmas break. Especially if your team is winning and coach is busy getting his team ready for region or state playoffs. That’s his top priority. Be patient. And praying never hurt nobody.

Filed Under: Division I-A, football, Football Mom Column, football players, football season, high school football, scandal

Yup, the Refs Made A Bad Call.

February 12, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Like your opinion about the New Orleans Saints robbed of playing in Super Bowl 2019. I’m a Saints fan, season ticket holder, and I’m mad as $#%% over the missed call! Suing the refs, NFL, or Roger Goodell is too good for them. They should lose their jobs, every one of them, never to step foot on an NFL field or be associated with pro teams again. Enough stupidity already.   

Dear Reader,

Had one of my guys been on the Saints team, I would be answering this note from behind jail bars. Oh, trust me—I’m almost sure of it. But since they weren’t on the team, my new black isn’t orange. I’m wondering though, if we can blow off steam without swatting somebody upside the head, or landing in the jailhouse for being brainless.

I get it, I do. Not too sure, you really want to know my opinion. In truth, you really don’t. But since you asked, remember this: opinions are like a duck’s derrière … everyone has one.

It’s not like the refs don’t bring home some serious bacon. Most folks would be tickled pink as a pig for the high, six-figure, annual income these dudes make for half a year’s work. Not that they don’t deserve it; I’m almost sure they do.

In one sense, they are the most hated guys in America for doing their jobs—sort of like President Trump. In another sense, they are (after all) human, and just as none of us do a perfect job every day in our profession, they make mistakes. The problem isn’t necessarily the refs. It’s the replay rulings.

Of course, our powderpuff friend, Roger Dodger is used to ducking controversy. Just a few months back, the taking-a-knee thang resulted in most of us boycotting the games and lowered the NFL-ers paycheck, not a word from him until he saw his bottom line shrinking. I’m still not watching too much NFL. Poor ole Roger, just can’t get ahead of any hullabaloo storm brewing before it blows up in his face. You’d think he’d learn a thing or two by now.

Football is an emotional game, and anybody says different is a nincompoop. But emotion doesn’t win games as much as I would like to think it can. Neither does suing anyone. It should just never come down to one play, one mistake, one goof-up.

So, the remaining time on the clock was 1:45 at the time of the screw-up. Score tied at 20, third down, Saints in possession of ball. Yes, I agree, had the penalty been called, the Saints would have been given a new set of downs and a chance, notice “a chance” to run the clock down before attempting a short field goal, or even a touchdown. Game over. Saints win.

Maybe the ball would have gone through the uprights—maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe it would have been blocked, or maybe it could have been intercepted. The should-a, could-a, would-a game plan was the call here. It just shouldn’t come down to a missed penalty call, especially in the NFL. They are, after all, pros … told ya … you didn’t want my opinion.

The debate over bad calls for refs, or “favoring” one team over another is nothing new. How many college, high school, middle school, or even Pee Wee games have been wiggled out of winning due to missed calls or wrong calls by the refs? We’ve all seen it. It happens.

Thing is—pass interference is not a reviewable play in the NFL. Neither is holding calls on Offense or Defense. This debate will live on until the rules change. No suing needed.

By the time, you see our column in print; Super Bowl LII will be in the history books to be chewed over like a dog’s bone. If you really want to argue, advocate to get the reviewable NFL rules changed and start lobbying to do just that. Now is your chance.

Filed Under: football, Football Mom Column, New Orleans Saints, NFL, pro football, scandal, Super Bowl

Let’s Redefine a Win?

April 20, 2015 by Candy A. Westbrook

Because sometime, you’re gonna lose at something~

I pounded the integrity drum loudly, lately. Scandals in college and NFL took center stage. Players behaving more like thugs then men of honor – much less, those guys in question outta be more thankful than a pig in sunshine, blessed with talent and health to play beyond high school is a privilege!

Programs crumble brick by brick, because various accusations surface like sharks searching for their next meal. Cheating violations continue plaguing programs, which then leads to sanctions. Even worse, programs covering for coaches that should have been banned from being around any boys at any time. Black eyes of all kinds brought-on from top executives down to water boys have tinged our most beloved game of football. Is it any wonder why I am so passionate to keep the sport pure as possible?

Football in its purest sense is about teamwork, discipline, self-sacrifice, hard work, and sportsmanship. By definition, the game is supposed to teach a boy how to become a man. However, the reverse is oftentimes too true. Football can also morph a man back into an immature, juvenile boy who makes bad choices. That my friends, is sad!

Sad or not, the good news is, we can champion winners! Now, the above paragraph does not mention any scoreboard stats. No win columns or digit markers. Maybe a win is simply showing up. Maybe a win is gauged by ones character. Maybe a win is baking cookies and sharing them with a neighbor. Maybe a win has more to do with what is on the inside of a person than what is recorded for all to see and admire.

I believe at the core of every person lays a barometer, the measure of ones thoughts and actions. Often egocentricity is at the heart of ones infractions. Oh, that ego fella is one bad boy! Pride runs a close second. Certainly most sports, football or otherwise, could never teach or coach selfishness, their scoreboards would most surely reflect losses. When did our culture become so self-centered? Yet, we see it time after time, and especially in sports. What’s up with that? I guess because the media picks up on almost every move a team makes and the players who make wrong choices. The juicier the better.

Here’s an interesting story. One reflecting the purest sense of what it means to be an unselfish coach. For the record, I haven’t the foggiest clue about the game of lacrosse, but I can spot a guy that we can all learn from who possesses exceptional standards. This man holds more moral heart than anyone I’ve met or read about in recent years. His loyalties, honesty, honor, and by golly, his integrity reaches new heights. Or, maybe I should say, are at his core.

Ex-Duke Lacrosse Coach Mike Pressler on Rape Scandal, Resignation

Mike Pressler redefined a win. His integrity tools put him back on top and he continues to turn down zillions of bucks to stay right where he is. How many coaches across this great land of ours can say that?? It all goes back to doing the right thing even when no one else is.

I hope Coach Pressler’s story spreads new hope to all coaches who may have to take a good look inside. Checking the ego-dip-stick may open old wounds, but better to make some character adjustments and tap your gauge now, instead of waiting for when your own feet hit the fire. I hope all those involved with sports will take a deep heart-check and redefine their own wins. I sure am.

Look, no one wins every time. However, what you do or don’t do, and how you react to certain situations should be a predetermined decision in your life. It’s what you do during the feet-fires that set the true winners apart. I may need a good foot-washin’ myself.

Redefining a win isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it involves the smallest of things, checking the ego-dip-stick occasionally, and making appropriate adjustments. We can all Champion Winners right where we are. Embrace the small stuff, God is watching. We really do reap what we sow.

Filed Under: Coach Mike Pressler, Duke, lacrosse, resignation, scandal

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall.

Helmet Kisses – The Heart Behind The Gridiron

Candy is working hard on her football memoir, Helmet Kisses. Make sure to watch for news and sign up for Candy’s newsletter so you never miss an update!

Helmet Kisses - The Heart Behind The Gridiron

About Candy

Candy A. Westbrook is a writer, newspaper columnist, and speaker whose passion lingers on the football field. She inspires families of all sports, but at her heart is her love for those boys of fall. College football recruiting can leave parents dangling on a zipline indefinitely and need someone on the other side who gets it. She inspires parents to go the distance because, “the topic may be football, but the real subject is life.”

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