senior year Archives | Candy A. Westbrook

Changing the Game

October 6, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

As a single mom, I was depending on my son receiving a football scholarship to play college ball next year. He’s prepared, and we followed your advice in having him take the SAT his junior year. He nailed it. He also worked-out religiously over the summer in my basement and ran the neighborhood nearly nonstop. Now, I’m worried he won’t have a chance as his senior year is here, but today it’s just been canceled due to Covid. What are we going to do? How do we proceed with Covid virus and no football?

Dear Reader,

If ever there was a season we needed football, it is now! The Covid mess is a mess, all right. Boy howdy, is it ever.

Take heart, Mama. Your son did a great job over the summer, and it shows he has determination, self-discipline, and a never-quit attitude. These are all great qualities college coaches look for. Your son deserves a Big congrats for sticking to it. No wavering from that boy.

Believe it or not, most of the time, college coaches have their wish lists for the next recruiting season (which is this season) finished by the end of last season. Whew. Spinning yet? College coaches will get around this stuff. They are geniuses at maneuvering manure and I do suppose this little hitch-in-the-get-along is no different.

If your son has not been offered, or if y’all haven’t had phone calls from any college coaches, my guess is, he’s on somebody’s radar somewhere. Working closely with his H. S. coach will be your best bet, and he may have an avenue y’all haven’t gone down yet. Hang tough, and be patient with his high school coach if he doesn’t get back to you right away. They are dealing with their own flies in the ointment. But, stay persistent.

Then, too, nothing wrong with calling the office of any college football program yourself and asking if all slots are full, or what upcoming positions are needed. Ask for the recruiter who covers your area, and try to speak directly to him. After all, they are in the same mess as everyone else. In fact, this may have leveled the playing field. Rest assured, football is not dead.

Then we have the NCAA who will no doubt have something to say about this year’s recruiting season. I’ve never seen a group of Macadamia Nuts come up with a bunch of rules as fast as these folks do. By cracky, they relish in rule-making. On a good day, the academicians have nearly killed college football with the silliest of rules at the drop of a helmet. Now, with C-19, geesh, what have they implemented lately to stir the pot?

My understanding the NCAA is leaving it up to each conference, to play or not to play. Isn’t that about as crazy as leaving out Tony Chachere’s in the stew? How ’bout some consistency? Hello. Same thing with high schools, to play or not to play. Some will play in the spring, others playing now. It will be fascinating.

Your son stands an awesome chance to blaze a trail of his own. He has a unique opportunity amid this mess to make something great happen. Don’t give up.

Gimme A Break, Gimme A Break

February 24, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son will graduate this spring and signed to play college football on National Signing Day. We are thrilled! His dad thinks he needs to continue to work out and run. I think he should take a break because he’s been working out for at least four years through high school. I do know it will be more strenuous in college but I feel enough already, let the kid have a break before heading out our door next year. What is your take on this? Should he keep working out or take a break before he reports to the college campus next fall?

Dear Reader,

How do I get myself smack-dab in the muddling mess of arguments between moms and dads? Do y’all really want me to take sides? You should read some of my email when questions are thrown at me like mortar squeezed out of tubes. It is then—I end up getting stuck right in the middle of the mud hole! You reckon I should know better by now.

Congratulations to y’all and your son. Get ready for some exciting days ahead of being true to your school like you would to your girl!! Fun times ahead for you and family. Soak up every minute because it will be over before you can say, “hut, hike.”

Yes, of course he still needs to work out. And for the record, I’m not taking your husband’s side. Even though your son signed and is headed for the college football team, he still needs to get stronger and faster before he shows up on campus. Without a doubt, those college puppies need all the preparation they can muster, and freshman report a week or two earlier than the upper classmen do. You wouldn’t want that feller of yours in dire straits throwing up at the first Oklahoma drill, would you?

Did he, himself want to take time off? If so, he will be in for a rude awakening once on campus. Most folks have no idea what’s ahead. Right now, when the stadium is quiet and the fans are home, most believe its off-season for the college player. Ha! Once Christmas break is over and those players report back to campus, they are killin’ themselves with what college coaches call mat drills. There is no such a thing as off-season for most athletes who are serious about their sport.

The players are required to pull themselves out of bed at 4 a.m. and report to the gym. They are given several special “stations” in which to drain themselves of any pride, accomplishments, or past rewards. This is the humbling effect. And the coaches thrive on seeing how low they can drive these young men. Did I really say men? They will turn them fellers into men come heck or high water. By cracky, you can count on it.

These drills are different on the various college campuses, but the psyche behind them is the same. Bring a team together, make the word teamwork come alive, and drive mental discipline to be front and center … provided the players don’t keel over first. On some accounts, these drills are worse than two-a-days in spring. Running bleachers is only part of the regime, but have you ever run bleachers? Yeah, I would say a boy better be in shape and have he’s head screwed on straight. By that, I mean his mental toughness had better be intact. No whiners allowed.

It will be almost a full year before your son experiences this routine, but there is that little thing called preseason camp that will require him to bust his hump in just a few short months. So, what’s ya think, mama? Should he work out in the weight room and run? Hmmm …

Where There’s A Will

February 19, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

I’m a single mom, and this week I nearly lost it. I’m a wreck. My son doesn’t have one scholarship offer. Signing day is just weeks away. What do we do? How can I help my son, who has worked so hard throughout his high school years, to achieve a college football scholarship? Without financial help, I’m not sure he can attend college. I’m desperate. I’m not too proud to ask for help. Do you have any connections, any tricks in your bag, any tips to help us?

Dear Reader,

Oh dear, don’t fall apart. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know the panic button is at defcon two! Believe it or not, there is still time. Together, let’s see if we can bring this to a successful finish. But I will tell you this: no tricks, no bag, and no tips here. Maybe suggestions, but the tips I leave for those with PhDs.

Yes, you are right, the 2020 college signing day is February 5, and it’s coming like a rocket blast. Straight up though, I will tell you many players sign after signing day. So, don’t get flustered or go having a hissy fit. Let’s take it one-step at a time, and I hope this game plan of action might ease your worries right onto your son signing with his dream team. Keep in mind, sometimes you have to take the scenic route.

Have you talked to his high school coach? Try getting in touch with him immediately, and have an honest heart to heart about where your son might fit in with a college team. There could be a program that hasn’t known of your son and he’d fit in perfectly. He could be the answer they’re looking for. You never know if you don’t ask.

Make sure you have what you need at the drop of a hat, so you are equipped and loaded with the correct information, ready to send it lickety split to any coach asking for it. Or to take with you to any meetings you might set up … all the better. Things like highlight film, a copy of your son’s grades obtained from his high school’s counselor’s office. And, while you’re at it, get numerous copies. Maybe even his stats. These are topics you should cover in your conversation with his coach.

If any recruiters have called your home or sent emails or snail mail, call them now, pronto. Ask to speak to the recruiter for your area. Or, if you have the name of the coaches who did call, ask to speak to them directly. Also, engage them in conversation. Don’t show your desperation, but do let them know your concerns for your son if all opportunities with their program are closed. Then and only then—when the door is closed—ask about walking on and what their policy might be for new players who do just that. Remember, walking on could be an option. He could work his way to a scholarship next year with said team. But he will have to work and prove he deserves at least a fraction of the financial aid.

When you are talking to these coaches, ask them if they know of other coaches who might be looking for the talent/position of your son. By that, I mean to tell you, they all know each other. They, college coaches, are all jocking for a one up with each other. But on occasion, you’ll find a kind generous coach willing to go the distance and help. It never hurts to ask for a reference, and then go right ahead and ask them if they might be inclined to give them a call on your behalf. Make sure you write down who they said and their contact information.

For a coach to contact another coach in the interest of your son gives you leverage and a heads-up to the coach you are about to call. It sets a positive stage. You have to be a tad bold. I know, it can be intimidating in the all-male world of college football, but as I’ve always said, “You never G-E-T till you A-S-K.” And honey, you gotta ask away.

Also, contact any junior colleges in your area with a football program. Nothing wrong with starting at a junior college and transferring once his viability goes up.

Another thing to keep in mind, some states offer government funded money (grants) for academic achievements such as an average GPA of 3.00. Then again, if your son has an average 4.00, he’ll easily qualify for academic scholarships. Then, walking on should be a walk in the park. It’d be a good idea to check with his counselor’s office to find out more about these opportunities, anyway. Academic scholarships or any other county/community grants will allow y’all some time without you forking over tuition fees for the first semester. It’s worth checking out.

If all else fails and there truly isn’t a place—a program for him to land—please reach out to me again. Not that I can do a thing, or wave a magic wand, but I’m pulling for you, and I do give a hoot.

You don’t want to hear this—oh, you really don’t—but he could stay home the first semester, and get a job, save his money. But make sure he keeps a regime of working out somewhere. He might ask his coach if he can use the weight room, but he’ll also need someone to spot him. Maybe investing in a six-month gym membership might not be a bad idea. He doesn’t need to lose ground, and he needs to be ready to tackle the college field possibly next semester. You never know he could get a chance to walk on somewhere in the spring. It’s not what y’all want to have to do, but it is a solid plan.

I’m a strong believer in where there’s a will—there’s a way. When you work hard, put God first, and stay at it … good things do happen!

Dear Football Mom,

With the Super Bowl on everyone’s schedule, I’ve read sport reports of NFL players having service dogs on the sidelines to sooth their nerves. What do you think about that?

Dear Reader,

I think those NFL-ers need to go and open a dog pound. Bless their hearts.

Kicking Off the New Year

January 7, 2020 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son already made his commitment to a division one college, but I am wondering if he should renege and back out of that verbal agreement to instead, accept an offer from a college in the state of California. Maybe he can earn some money since they’ve passed the pay to play. A school from that state made him an offer earlier in the year. Do you think he should reconnect with them and tell them he’d like to take them up on their scholarship offer? It would mean we’d have to travel a distance to see his home games, but maybe it’s worth it for him to gain a little money and add to his savings.

Dear Reader,

And this right here, is the very reason I am against the “pay to play” ruling. Of course, Florida is looking to pass this law soon too. It’s so wrong on so many levels. I am usually not quite that blunt (well, then again, maybe I am), but boy howdy, this deal, the pay to play, is like a grasshopper jumping under your blue-jeans with no way to scoot the varmint out without showing a body’s backside!

I hope like heck most of y’all haven’t thought a double-minded, Mickey-Mouse, willy-nilly maneuvering technique to your children in how they handle business dealings, regardless if they play a sport or not. No offense to Mickey Mouse—my littles and some of the older grands adore him and Minnie. But come on.

The first thing you should be aware of as a parent is to never weasel out of your word. If your son gave his word to the other college, then by cracky, he should stick to it and keep it. Period. At least barring anything catastrophic like a coaching change, that is. The second thing you should be aware of about this pay to play in California is that the ruling has not yet gone into action. Your son may graduate before it does.

Quite frankly, I’m hoping the NCAA will find a way to pull it back. Do you understand that even if it was in play, your son may never get some huge endorsement from a commercial company? He may never reap the so-called benefit of suiting-up at some college where the pay to play is actually at play.

And for the record, he is earning money! He’s receiving a free education. He will graduate without college debt, and that is huge. Hopefully, that is his main goal, to walk away with a degree in hand. Meals, books, lodging, tuition, even tutoring is free for the student athlete. He’s already ahead of the game that most college students face. Good heavens, what more could you ask for.

Dear Football Mom,

I don’t understand the rankings of college football. Why are some teams ranked in the top five while others with the same record are ranked lower? For example, why is Clemson ranked three when they are just as undefeated as Ohio State or LSU? What gives?

Dear Reader,

Great question! That would take an act of congress for me to splain it all and quite honestly, I’m not sure I’d be on point with the correct answer. But you got me on this one, and I can’t resist a challenge, so reckon I’m gonna take a stab at it.

There is a little committee that thrives on “guesses” and “misses” made up of head football coaches—yeah, like they can be fair and unbiased. Sure, they are. Along with other experts like media geniuses and then, perhaps there are the PhDs of Popular Football Mechanics who make up this board of pals. Giving it their best shot, they submit a list each week ignoring TV contracts and stockholders, or deep-pocketed influential boosters, past traditions, and popular opinions of social status stars to vote on rankings. (My sass is showing through.)

Supposedly, the rankings are based on who said team Tee’s up to play, how much they ran up the score, and how tough the team was that got the shocking splattering. That’s the short version anyhow.

Cheer up my fair football fans, no head coach on the planet cares a gnat’s behind about these rankings. Or gives any weight to the top 25 in front of their players, fans, and boosters. It’s psychological, messing with players’ and coaches’ heads and scheming to get programs to question their viability, causing useless dustups between conferences. Most coaches pay no mind and discount the rankings, especially if they aren’t on the list. It’s also political in football terms and a sore spot with athletic directors. The rub here is that most sportscasters make fun and joke about how off the mark these rankings are. And they usually are. Way off the mark. Clemson is a great example of that. They have earned the right to at least a number two spot.

This team of scallywags can never predict the heart of a team. Or the strength and power of the will to win. They are there to take up newspaper print, make some poor old coach about to retire feel important, gain favor with sportscasters so they’ll talk highly about their program, and give lip service to TV contracts.

Take heart my football fans—it’s just useless noise.

From California with Love

October 22, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook

Dear Football Mom,

Our son is a senior in a California high school. I found you under a Google search, Football Mom, and saw your website and column. Very interesting and really like the content. I have a question: Said son is a quarterback and is being recruited from several colleges on the East coast. He has always wanted to play for our #### University here, and they have offered him a scholarship. However, to be blunt, our state is in bad shape. My husband and I are both from here. Our families are here. We reared our two children here. But because of many horrible politicians making bad choices for us, we are looking to leave a state we once loved dearly. Are we wrong for encouraging our son to choose an East coast college so we can go ahead and move without feeling guilty of leaving family? He is open to it, but that wasn’t his childhood dream. I’m asking for your honest opinion.

Dear Reader,

I can only share honest opinions … it’s very humid here! That’s something you don’t have to put up with in CA.

All kidding aside, that is some loaded question. I reckon as long as we’re being blunt, you’re right: your state was one of the most gorgeous states in the union, until …

As far as I know, you can still leave any state whenever you want, including CA. But I see where you’re going with this. If your son chooses a college in California, y’all want to stay and see him play. If he chooses a college on the East coast, you want to move sooner than later so y’all can watch him play. How blessed you are to have choices like that. Most folks and parents of athletes’ don’t have nearly the luxury.

My first suggestion: make sure your son chooses the college he wants to attend. Provided he indeed has choices, allow him to figure it out. Give him some space. If he happens to choose a California college, be sure to swallow a big gulp of itching to move and support his decision. After all, your family can move East later or now, depending on your financial means to travel for his collegiate games, if you choose to watch him play.

Second suggestion: make sure he is wanted wherever that may be. For instance, you stated he’d already been offered a few scholarships in CA. Is the same true of an East college program as well, or are they still on the flattering front? Before y’all go rooting up your entire household and haul everyone East, make sure your son has a solid offer from that East coast college, i.e. an offer in writing. Things can get mighty squirrely just days before signing day. Gather your nuts … in other words, all the information you can before he makes his final decision.

Third suggestion: chill out. Things have a way of coming together the way they are supposed to. And if y’all happen to come East, bring lots of hair spray and gnat repellant!

Dear Readers,

Ironically, just a few weeks after I received the above question, I was contacted by ABC-Disney’s Tameron Hall Show to discuss the passing of the recent law “pay to play” in California. The two are really not connected, but I thought it was right serendipitous for me to focus on CA answering this question, and the law just past in the state for the last few weeks.

Quite an honor and very humbling that the producers of the show found me through my website, www.CandyAWestbrook.com. After several conversations with several producers, they flew me to New York City as a guest of the show to discuss the pros and cons this law will generate. Just so we are very clear here, I oppose this law, vehemently.

What happened to playing for the love of the game? And we wonder why the NCAA is a necessary evil. Now its role will be even bigger. There is no “fair” in football. Trust me, there really isn’t.

But let’s say for the sake of argument it could be fair. The pay to play wouldn’t create a hotdog effect on any players. Sure, I have land in the Okefenokee Swamp for sale that’s sure to go commercial and perfect for condos too. This law won’t go into effect for a few years. There is still time to get the worms back in the can!

The problem isn’t the pay out, the problem is the way it will be doled out. So, give the players a weekly stipend from the college program. Make it the same for every student athlete across the board, all sports, and for big schools, little schools. But that’s not what is happening. Individual athletes can get endorsement deals from sports companies and get paid zillions in college if this bill is enforced. That is not good. No way no how is it good for any “team.”

Stayed tuned. Questions are coming in about this law. It won’t be purty, but it will be brutally honest from this football mom. Count on it.

Changing the Game

Gimme A Break, Gimme A Break

Where There’s A Will

Kicking Off the New Year

From California with Love

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