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Let’s Talk College Recruiters

March 28, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

We are fast approaching spring practice at our high school and the annual spring game. Our coach tells us there could be a few college scouts that may attend. Our son will be a junior. Please tell me some tips for getting him noticed and ultimately recruited to play college football. What should he do to stand out?

Dear Reader,

I’m afraid that “tips” are just like the catch phrase, “farm to table” which was simply somebody’s quirky cliché for advertising purposes. Hasn’t all our food at some point comes from some farm, somewhere? It may have been processed to death, but by golly, it started out on a farm. “Tips” rings the same way. Magazines needed banner topics for different subjects so—presto—we have the word “tips.” Not trying to be a sassy-frass, but in football, there is no such thing as tips, unless that is, the ball got tipped on a field goal attempt. What I try to do is share information, pointers, and suggestions. I just really don’t have any tips, but I get what you mean, so let’s see if I can answer your question this way.

Every position in the game of football is different, and one size doesn’t fit all. That said there are some all-purpose pointers I’m happy to share. For the most part, there’s no magic formula, short cut, or equation to getting our sons noticed by college recruiters. The following includes a few suggestions for those guys of fall—well in this case, spring. It is up to your son however, to execute with as much excellence as he can muster.

Honestly, first and foremost, he’s got to play his heart out for his team. Period. Practice like he plays in a game. Stay diligent.

Be coachable. Attitude goes a long way. If he works hard and listens to his coach, that will pay dividends at the end of the day. Remember, his coach has relationships with college recruiters, college recruiters talk to high school coaches, and his coach will share with these cats information not only about his talent, but also on his coachability.

Be the guy who loves to compete. Leading his team to winning seasons is a plus. Like it or not, recruiters tend to show up more frequently at winning teams. It may not sound fair, but for college recruiters, time is money. They don’t have time to drive all over kingdom come for a “maybe” on losing teams. Coaches know teams that win, have at least a couple of competitors embedded within their team. College coaches always look for competitors.

Keep his nose clean. You can take that figuratively and literally. The last thing coaches need on campus are new recruits who have to be baby-sat. You might possess all the talent, break records right and left, but if you are a troublemaker—trust me, they will pass. You might qualify for D-IAA or D-II, but if you are a rebel-rouser, your chances for D-IA just left the stadium. College coaches don’t have time to waste on fools and scallywags.

Keep your grades up. Coaches are just as interested in your GPA as they are your time in the 40. I suggest taking the SAT or ACT in your sophomore or junior year. That way you can enjoy your senior year more and focus on your team (provided you met the college requirement scores). I would not waste money on the PSATs because they don’t count anyway. Nowadays, you can find several tutorials online that help students get up to speed and practice for these tests.

Naturally, the obvious—work out till the cows come home. Work hard to improve in everything, every aspect, every area. Increase your time in the 40 (yes even you offensive linemen). Get with your position coach and ask him some suggestions on what you can improve on. There is no such thing as not improving. You can always improve in something. Who says you can’t practice position reps at home?

To really stand out, leadership is key. Unselfish leadership is The Holy Grail. Getting teammates pumped up for games and practice, or helping other players with his position or stance or hundreds of other acts of unselfish leadership will put him ahead of any competition. He can’t be a casual bystander. He has to lead intentionally.

Hope this helped and that your son finds himself one day with several D-IA offers, which involves a whole other set of suggestions. Best wishes and shine-on.

Footnote: This is my last column until after July 4th. In the meantime, y’all have some awesome spring practices and keep the questions and comments coming … Candy@CandyAWestbrook.com please put “football question” in subject line. I promise to answer all in a few short months and as always, keep them confidential. Gooooo Football Moms!!!

The Art of Negotiation

January 31, 2019 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Our son is eight. I want to sign him up this spring to play Pee Wee football, but my wife has gone bonkers with worry about injuries. I feel it is time he plays, and he does love the game. He wants to play. Help?

Dear Reader,

Oh great, just where I want to be—in the middle of an uprising. Football matters. It matters big time. Let’s see if we can figure out why.

Mamas are like that. We worry. We fret. We rationalize. We overthink most anything our sons or daughters do or don’t do. It’s a natural thang for mamas. Agonize till our hair falls out.

I suppose I could quote stats all day long, but the truth is your son could get hurt, anywhere, anytime. Injuries can happen no matter what sport your child chooses. Shhhh. I hate to bring this to your attention, but he could sustain a concussion, broken arm, broken leg, or most any injury on his playground at school. He may even suffer more by watching TV or obtain a serious finger abrasion playing PlayStation.

Football is rich with teaching tools that carry a guy into manhood and can positively affect him for the rest of his life. It never hurts to exchange some frustration for green grass stains. In fact, I have it on good authority that it does a feller good. Football is a controlled fight. And if a boy’s going to fight, better it be controlled.

Football teaches teamwork like no other sport. It brings kids together, demonstrates decision-making techniques, trains boys for organizational skills, teaches the principle of others first. Football helps to make the players of the game mentally strong. At its heart, boys eventually become men of integrity.

You and your wife will need to compromise. I know, that’s a lightbulb piece of information, but it is still true. Come together, sit down, and hammer this out before going off and signing your son up without her approval. You might suggest he try it for a year and if she still feels the same way at the end of the season. Try another deal.

I have a sneaking feeling once she sees your son shine on the field, and she gets a taste of football, she’ll be one of them-there bleacher huggers, and there’ll be no stopping her after that. Let’s hope so.

Dear Football Mom,

Please explain to me why, after tireless efforts on behalf of football parents’ raising money to plow up and replace the entire high school football field, the track and field parents are raising cain. Yes, their sport will have to play elsewhere. We offered the football practice field, and they are still griping. I know this sounds trivial, but I don’t understand the big fuss they are making.

Can’t they see that the field will be in much better shape come next spring for track and field, too? It’s a temporary fix to have them on the practice field. They are still upset because football will be sharing the practice field as well, thus splitting time between the two sports.

They went to the county superintendent, and now the project was put on hold. How can a few spoil everything that a majority worked their tails off for? We’ve provided all funds, not one cent coming out of the county budget. We were supposed to break ground in a few weeks. Now, who knows when.

Dear Reader,

My smart-aleck, knee-jerk reaction is to ask the track and field team parents which sport makes the most money—football, or them. Of course, this is rude because everyone knows its football, y’all. Tunnel vision is contagious.

This is where you’ve got to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Negotiate.

What if football parents were to seek out another field, instead of staying on the high school campus. Perhaps a county Pee Wee team would be willing to share their field for high school practice this spring. Rarely do Pee Wee teams hold spring practice. Or, maybe use the closest middle school field. You may have to switch times for availability. Your team might have to load up on busses for transport to an alternate field, but either way, at least you are showing willingness to compromise.

Then of course, the coaches could get creative and use the gym for part of spring practice. Conditioning is huge for spring; it doesn’t hurt to run up and down bleachers, and the court can be used for walk-throughs, teaching new plays, or game planning and meetings. Then again, the basketball coaches may tar and feather y’all. Alternating times and clearing it with basketball first, before bopping into the gym would be the solution there.

By checking other options, sure shows good faith effort on the football side of things. That should help get another conversation started with the schoolboard. And, that’s the goal, open communication.

Did football get a permit or permission from the superintendent’s office when y’all started the project? I would think boosters would have had to have approval by the county and schoolboard. If so, since they halted construction, hold their feet to the fire and present an alternative plan like the ones I just suggested. Make sure you have a couple of plans to suggest to the committee or superintendent and then go get-er-done. Persist. But, don’t be a sass or smart-aleck like my first sentence. Remember, flies are attracted to sugar, not vinegar!

When Christmas Brings Conflict

December 17, 2018 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

Dear Football Mom,

Why is my son so bent on working out during Christmas break instead of going to Colorado with his family skiing? Granted, he’ll be a senior next year and is working hard for a college football scholarship, but enough already. He wants to stay with his buddy’s family, as his friend’s dad owns several fitness centers, and they can work out together over the break. I’m a little upset with his buddy’s parents too, because I think they should have encouraged our son to go with us instead of offering for him to stay with them.

What say you?

Dear Reader,

This is a new one on me. What kid gives up Colorado skiing for working out?

Y’all do know my hair frizzes straight up each time I receive one of these read-between-the-lines psychological questions, sure enough, as if I stuck a finger in a Christmas light bulb socket with it turned on. I can see ol’ Clark Griswold, now. Y’all know I don’t claim to be that bright, but we’ll giver ’er a try.

My first thought actually has nothing to do with working out. Yes, you are right. For high schoolers, unless they are in a late state playoff after Christmas, they should be able to take a few days off during the holidays. Notice I said days, not weeks.

I suppose something could be brewing behind that snowman … and it’s not hot chocolate. It usually comes down to a girl in the mix somewhere. Then again, maybe he is just that serious about working toward a scholarship and has a valid fear of getting hurt on the slopes. Maybe your son is wise beyond his years. Injuries can spoil chances of saddling-up with scholarship offers, not to mention they hurt like the dickens.
If this is a new tradition for your family, my guess is he just doesn’t want change at Christmastime. Or—and this is a big OR—that purty little gal is pulling on his heartstrings to stay behind. He could be torn between spending time with her, or traveling with his family and then feeling like the Grinch. Oh, the G-force those gals have on our sons’ when their heads turn and their hearts go pitter-patter over a girl. Why, it’s downright frightening for mamas. Since his senior year is around the corner and time is short, he could be thinking he’d better take advantage of the time they have—if he’s even thinking that far in advance. Lots of maybe’s here, but like I said … reading between the lines.

The other thing that comes to mind and it chills me like icicles to be this honest, but maybe your son enjoys his friend’s family for various reasons instead of spending spare time with his own family. Does it feel like sand paper rubbing friction when all of you are together? Do you and you husband argue? Is chaos lurking behind every family gathering? Do tempers fly? Is alcohol a problem with adults? I know these are very personal questions. Please keep in mind I don’t want to know the answers. The questions are only there for you to mull over and consider, is all.

And by the way, there are no Norman Rockwell families out there. Even if you think his buddy’s family has it together, I tend to doubt its peaches and cream all the time. Put another log on that picture-perfect fire please, and hang those stocking with care.

Have an old fashion heart-to-heart talk with your son. Be honest with him. Tell him this stung a smidge and pricked your heart. If you are honest with him, I’m almost sure he’ll be honest with you. I believe your family just might huddle closer once your hearts open and y’all clear the air. Keep your cool no matter what he says. Give him the opportunity to share his feelings without jumping into soot from the fireplace.

Remember in the end, you are the parent—he is still the child. And too, since you are the parent, it’s a good idea for him to listen to you and do what you ask. In all seriousness, he has to obey your wishes, regardless of how he feels.

Christmas Day will come no matter how you celebrate it. Just make sure your son knows how much you love him, no matter where he spends the day.

Dear Football Mom,

Is cheerleading a sport? I know you usually answer football questions, but thought I’d try to get your input here. My daughter is going to cheer next year for football at a Division-I college, and yet they don’t offer scholarships for cheerleaders. Something is wrong with that.

Dear Reader,

I have to agree. College cheerleaders should be awarded full scholarships, period.

Depending on the school, some do give monies for room and board, books, or compensate the difference for out-of-state tuition. But generally, not all of the tuition. Not all of it, at all. Usually one or two expenses and that’s it. Partial scholarships do exist, as well as other scholarships such as academic and the like. They all apply. But a full-fledged cheerleader scholarship, like football scholarships have yet to be common practice, though it should be.

Cheerleaders matter. They matter a lot. Truthfully, I’d like to see a team win without them.

When football players try to get a crowd pumped up during a game, it’s a sign of weakness and desperation. I actually want to whup-upside the head some football-playing boys when I see them fellers turn into cheerleaders on the field. Good golly, guys, keep your heads in the game, Buck-a-roos. The cheers will come when you play tough and nail your assignments. Let the cheerleaders do their job and you do yours!
Cheerleaders matter. Yes, they flat-out matter. Is cheerleading a sport? It should be.

Did everybody in America get their Pick?

May 1, 2013 by Candy A. Westbrook Leave a Comment

I dare say—most likely not! At least not on the side of the players who were left out of any NFL deal. Even those who were drafted, or signed as free agents, most likely didn’t end up on the NFL team they’d dreamed about all their lives as kids. Maybe some did. But the stats tell another story of mostly did not’s. Still, what an honor to be part of the NFL regardless of what team!

So, just for the sake of the underdogs, let’s hear three cheers for them! You know, the kids who didn’t make it. (Sorry, any male specie who is under the age of thirty is still a kid to me!) Okay, players, young fellers if you will, who didn’t get the call for the draft or didn’t sign a free agent contract, what about them? They may either try out for arena football, possibly pro wrestling, or make the proverbial career move into the painful world of gainful employment.

To a true football player, yes—a job, coupled with the rejection of the NFL can be the most painful experience going. The end of playing football for these guys is suddenly wide spread and narrows employment options drastically. Their new career options and the potential for gainful employment that produces a similar income appears bleak.

Some of those players are the sons of families who’ve hung the last hope of getting out of generational poverty onto the backs of these kids. So much weight rides on the shoulders of such young fellas and now they feel like failures without even the slightest glimmer of hope to help their families soar above the substandard norm. That’s a lot for a kid to live with.

Don’t you know they feel crushed? Heart sickened with penetrating disappointment while their padres who made it to the NFL party and celebrate like crazy. Well, celebrate yes—not taking anything away from them. Let’s just hope they don’t let it go to their craniums too fast… which often times, sadly it does. Their attitudes rapidly rise, then reek with the overinflated ego stench. The cure for the cranium high is a good dose of humility. An adjustment which also sadly, will come sooner or later.

What happens to the has been college football players? Perhaps they’re back home or looking for a roommate and a place to live. It’s these guys—yes hello, these fellas are who really earn my admiration. I believe they are the ones who will rise to the top! Yep, that’s right. They’ll rise like never before. Extenuating circumstances can launch the human spirit into overdrive!

Most of these young fellas do have mamas in their corner who care. I kinda believe us mamas are born with a cheerleader’s heart. For those who don’t have mamas they can depend on, perhaps a special coach, another close family member or someone they feel comfortable with that they can go to for emotional support and guidance. Mamas, I trust you are that cheerleader and champion your son with your unconditional love tucked in your hearts.

God cares immensely about the has been player and their lives whether those fellas know it or not. My prayer is that one day they will know it fully—if not today, one day for sure!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NKJ

Hope! How sweet the word, hope. I honestly believe, I hope, for the ones who didn’t make it to the next level last week, or who may get cut before too long, (after all—Tim Tebow recently got cut from the New York Jets) that someday day, this very somber moment in time will be one of the best, most teachable moments they’ll ever experience in a lifetime. I pray it’s a life changer for God’s glory & good.

Yes, I believe the underdogs, former players, will look back on this time, and see God’s great big hand in it all. How He protected them from perhaps going down a rabbit hole that would lead a young fella to destruction in no time flat. Maybe even, saving their life in more ways than one—could be His greatest purpose.

Now, these has been’s are free to DREAM as big as they want without the green, 100-yard box, boxing them in. God can take the failures, the flubs, the setbacks and roll them all together, creating new goals within the hearts of these former players and send them soaring to even greater heights. It’s not as painful as rehab and they are used to hard work heck; they trained for it! They are natural competitors! How many companies or employers wouldn’t want such fine young fellas on their team? Are you kidding me? They’d be nuts!

So what, if it’s not on the gridiron with the fans cheering their paycheck. How many NFL-ers are really that wealthy? Not as many as you may think. America needs young men,(there, I said it!) with the talent and the character only football teaches. Their heart for hard work is unprecedented.

I pick the underdogs!

Let’s Talk College Recruiters

The Art of Negotiation

When Christmas Brings Conflict

Did everybody in America get their Pick?

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